Trophy Hunting Primer: Top 5 Hardest Platinums
- Posted February 21st, 2013 at 00:17 EDT by Dane Smith
- 1 Comments
Welcome to PSU.com's hit series on the world of Trophy hunting. Join our hosts Skip Williams and Max Platinum as they give you the inside scoop on how to achieve success as a Trophy hunter and take your game to the next level. From trying to beat your friends, to going to the top of the world rankings, they bring you the in-depth analysis found nowhere else.
Disclaimer: All likenesses used are for parody and/or satirical purposes.
Skip: We are live from the Tokyo Dome, here in Tokyo, Japan at the NGN Productions studio. Welcome to this week’s episode of Skip and Max’s Prime Time Gaming. As always I’m your host with the most, Skip Williams with the doctor of trophinomics, Max Platinum. Tonight we bring you our top 5 list for the hardest platinums in gaming. What are the ground rules for the list, Max?
Max: We are not barbarians like those other lists on the internet, we need rules. Firstly we will only use one game per franchise. We have to actually earn a paycheque. These stylish clothes don’t pay for themselves. Secondly, circa right now the game has to be platible meaning if the game’s server went offline, too bad so sad, do not pass go and collect your shiny Trophy. Lastly, the PSN Profiles listings will not be used verbatim; otherwise I’d just say Page Chronica, Sky Fighter, Everybody Dance Digital, Qilone, and Time Crisis: Razing Storm. Shows over kids, tune in next week. We chose games that are hard but achievable; a testament of skill and perseverance. Besides, the doctor told me I can’t punch walls anymore…or at least ones not made out of concrete.
Skip: Were you high off Monster again when you punched the wall last night?
Max: No, well, Monster with a Red Volt chaser. I’m not a machine; I have needs too you know.
Skip: I’m not your girlfriend, Max.
Max: And it’s a good thing too. Some freaky stuff goes on in the office but I don’t date my co-host unlike a certain other who will remain nameless. When was the last time his desk was cleaned?
Skip: Oh you mean Las…
Max: What do the words name and less mean to you, Skip?
Skip: So what is the first game to grace our list?
Max: We are going with SOCOM: Confrontation in the #5 spot. A controversial choice but considering it’s checkered history a worthy inclusion. One of the most hacked platinums in the world, proving your platinum is legitimate is a challenge in itself. Add to it the hilarious Trophies with multiple conditions to unlocking them, and you have a long, tedious, and hard Trophy. Oh, and have fun with the hackers.
Skip: How did you end up platinuming the game, Max?
Max: Blood, sweat, and the tears of the hackers I head shotted…sweet, sweet, bloody, hacker tears.
Skip: Which game lands at #4?
Max: WipEout HD splashes in fourth positioning itself nicely with a buffer over SOCOM.
Skip: You mean the obstacle course game? That is so much fun to watch on TV.
Max: No Skip, sadly it is not WipEout the TV show, although I’m sure that would be a fun game to play. No, this is a racing game that is so tough they had to give it away for free because no one wanted to buy it from all the gamer rage. Ninja Gaiden is so 1989 compared to this. I’d like to see the Wizard try and platinum this game. Over 200,000 owners and counting thanks to it being given away from the PSN outage, it still only has less than a 1.5% platinum achievement rate. When less than 50% of owners have a Trophy for doing a simple barrel roll you know the game is seriously difficult.
Skip: I guess they need to play more Star Fox to practice, eh Max?
Max: Yes, pressing left and right on a D-Pad is so difficult it just makes me wonder the mystical skills of these professional Trophy Hunters these days. What’s next, pressing R1 to shoot? The controls are so complicated these days.
Skip: The bronze Trophy is ... (continued on next page)
- 10:51pm EST - March 2nd, 2013
Absolutely brilliant - I'll admit, at first I thought this series of articles was gonna be quite boring and I'd have to force myself to read through them, but I'm actually really enjoying them and they portray everything I feel towards trophies, as there is very little I feel I could say on the matter that hasn't already been said!
Personally, I don't agree with the #1 spot, as I feel this was done for comedic purposes rather than trying to think of a game that was truly difficult, but at least this list's unique and if differs from the generic "hardest trophy" lists we always see.
Keep up the great work, I look forward to the next entry!
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