If you want a girlfriend - go for it...but don't tear yourself up about not having one! Most people get into a relationship through sheer chance (i.e. what are the REAL odds those people who meet their "true loves" at work are playing with?) so just let your life play out - in the mean-time, stay happy!
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Ok guys, here i'm giving you one of my trump cards: The massage.
Have you ever taken a girl home, you thought sex was on the cards…but she ends up sleeping in your bed, with you in it, but without any sexual activity taking place at all? That’s right, both of you in bed, but no sex happening? lolwut
This used to happen to me all the time. The girl would end up in my room and it was so on! But…what to do now? I’d feel awkward, unsure of what to do next, in the dark about how to transition to sex. And, sure enough, we’d both wind up in bed. Together. Half naked. Sleeping. BUT NO SEX!
• Touch her early – this breaks down the touch barrier and gets both of you used to touching each other. If you aren’t touching each other throughout your interaction, it’s extremely unlikely you’ll end up sleeping together.
• Close the distance - you need some way to get at least within kissing range to start getting down to the practical act of sex.
Let’s focus on the second point: closing the distance. A great way to close the distance and begin escalating towards sex is massage.
Often I’ll seed this during the date itself, setting up a game or some **** around her ability to give good massages. It then feels perfectly natural to call back to this an initiate massage later. Here’s a typical way I run this:
‘Are you good at massage?
Not bad (99.9% if time thats her answer)
My mom runs a spa and I learned how to give good massages as a kid. It takes a lot of body awareness to be good at massage, you have to be really in touch with your own body before you can really ‘get’ how your touch is affecting someone else, you know?’
And then take your hand away, lean back and say, ‘Cool, you’re pretty good.’ Or do what I do: put a big smile on your face and playfully exclaim, ‘No, no, no…that’s terrible! Here, let me show you…’ take her hand and begin to massage it.
You can do this in the club or in the bedroom. In the club, it’s a handy piece that works well for setting up a sexual undertone. In the bedroom, it’s perfect for closing the distance. From the hand, you can move to massaging the neck, shoulders and upper back (or actually start there, ‘Here, rub my shoulders.’ My main weapon is to have a girl sit on my bed/couch and I'll massage her shoulders from behind then escalate from there.
You can have the girl lie down, tell her to remove her top to let you massage her better. Give her a really nice massage, throw some oil on there, some nice music. After a while, she’ll be making lovely ‘mmm’ noises and you’ll feel that window open up for you. Pause the massage, start kissing her neck and back, escalating from there on in. In my experience, this process is so natural that you hardly need instruction from this point.
But before you do this, make sure you DO give good massages. I big myself up and make fun of how much better I am at massage then her because I AM better. The spa thing wasn't a lie, I'm a qualified masseuse. But giving a sensual back rub is easy, just be firm but slow and apply an even amount of pressure.
When you don't take any risks you will lose automatically. Its not like anyone can help you unless you do the first move first. By actually doing something (whatever it is) the first step is the most important because it will make everything look easier than last time.
Its not like we can help you to take that step, we can give advices how to be in the bar, where to look for girls, what not to do or say when you are with the girl etc. but we can't transfer any courage. Taking risks is good, especially when you realize that when you fail at something you just learn from it and continue on. Like hitting some strange woman, if she says "nay", just move on. Its not like she will remember you and laugh. And hey, even if she did who cares? Its just some strange woman.
But as I said before, you are just going to lose automatically if you stay at home and hope to get someone who stays at home too. There is a chance to get someone like that in your current situation but likelihood for that is close to 0%.Man who chase after bus get exhausted, man who run in front of bus get tired
Man who masturbates in class has firm grip of subject at hand
Woman who sink in man's arms soon have arms in man's sink
You can't say for definite either way so quit trying to tell yourself it wont happen - then it really never will! Keep an indifferent opinion to it and just let your life take the course you wish to take and you'll most likely meet someone
Quit with the drama and start improving yourself.
Hey Dom, was the other site you saw this on UG?
Yeah i probably need help but i rather not because it will be just talking to someone then they throw pills at me to try to "fix" me.
So being myself is an excuse?
I never said i had my heart set on it.
I never said you had to give a crap im just trying to have a conversation.
Thanks for your opinion Dom
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