Birds and the Bees -Official Relationship Thread-

[podsaurus]

Thanks guys! So, last news feed, I texted her a few hours ago so we could meet and break up properly but she just told me she doesn't want to see me anymore and that she's fine that way. She thinks it's for the best since she doesn't want it all to be awkward and we should just break up like this. She said she didn't want me to see her giving me a bad attitude and she thanked me for these two years.

Well...yesterday I thought it was going to be tougher, but at the moment it ain't so bad to be honest. I guess these few days will be a little rough though. I still gotta go and snag my 3DS back from her place.

Sounds like she doesn't want to have to 'deal' with it. This girl a few years ago broke it off in an instant message to me. She sent it quick and immidately signed off. Just wanted to drop it and not deal with it. That was really shitty.

[spyrde]

Thor, seeing how she doesn't even want to see you and talk about it really shows that this is just for the best.

Also Wolf, think about it this way, would you like a relationship where YOU don't respect your partner? Of course not.

[Thorzilla]

Update: We did meet yesterday and talked. She said she was sorry for the message, but she later thought about it and knew we had to finish is properly. I told her how I felt, she told me as well and it was actually quite a great breakup. We ended up as friends and told her that I'm a message away if she ever needs anything. It's going to be a few tough days, but at least we did manage to save our relationship, turning it into a friendship.

[Sir_Scud]

Sounds like she doesn't want to have to 'deal' with it. This girl a few years ago broke it off in an instant message to me. She sent it quick and immidately signed off. Just wanted to drop it and not deal with it. That was really shitty.

Yeah, a few years back I had a girl dump me through instant messenger. However, she stayed on to talk about it. All it did was let me read her fake cliched break up reasons and was quite ridiculous.

@ Thor, that's great dude. At least something positive comes from this, right?

[Thorzilla]

Yeah, a few years back I had a girl dump me through instant messenger. However, she stayed on to talk about it. All it did was let me read her fake cliched break up reasons and was quite ridiculous.

@ Thor, that's great dude. At least something positive comes from this, right?

Yup, at least it did work out in the end way better than I expected. I'm still feeling a little down though.

[podsaurus]

Yup, at least it did work out in the end way better than I expected. I'm still feeling a little down though.

That's ok Thor. You just gotta get right back on the horse. Glad it ended better for you!

[spyrde]

Good to hear that mate, but I don't suggest hanging around her too much, until maybe later once you've both moved on. There will always be that awkwardness between you two, and there could be a possibility that you might fall for her again, for example if you see him with another guy. If you're feeling down , just point your head in another direction and occupy yourself with as much as possible. It'll take time but you'll get over it ; )

[Chris92]

Hi Guys, Not been to this thread in a while, which i guess could be a good thing but right now i'm in real need of motivation/help, a follow on from a few previous posts about the girl i saw at college back in June... (yeah that far back i know) so i'll include below, hopefully in spoilers to save the length, my previous posts, changed in some bits to save repeating stuff

Hey Guys, Not so much got a problem but more of a question.

Firstly, I have no female friends i socialise with, only time would be if they joined with another friend or something. I'm not great at talking to girls either, tend to get kinda nervous incase i say something stupid [IMG]file:///C:/Users/Chris/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif[/IMG]I've never even had a gf or a proper female friend i can hang out with just 2 of us, and i'm 19 for god sake!!

Anyway,

First Question,
Today, While at College, i was sitting on a computer and happened to go and grab some stuff from a printer and on my way back i saw this really nice looking girl and we kinda made eye contact then i went and sat down and continued. I couldn't help but look at her as she walked back and forth from the printer to her desk which was the next one to us.

She was with 2 friends and some staff member came and told them to move computers as he had booked the ones they were using or something so they moved maybe 50 ft down the room. I still kept my eye on her, there was just something about her, she seemed very down to earth when speaking to her friends (Ie Not stuck up or full of herself), not covered in make up like a barbie doll haha, she wasn't like stunning or anything but i found her really cute. I noticed she was regularly looking back up towards the desk area she was at before, could have been looking at anything at that distance away but it was certainly in my direction :/

You see i WANTED to go and speak to her when she happened to go to the printer or something by herself, but i just couldn't bring myself to do it. She only left her friends for a few seconds to grab things here and there & the last thing i want to do is attempt to talk to her in front of her friend to be honest.
I just wanted to say something to her, possibly ask for her number, even though i didn't think i'd have much chance - I wanted to ask. I just didn't know what to say if i even got as far as talking to her. It'd be something like "Hey, Erm i couldn't help but notice how nice/cute(maybe not)/down to earth (wrong wording for a convo i think) you are...Don't suppose you;d want to meet up sometime?"
I just don't know what to say, i have no idea what her name is, who she is, or what she even does :/
The only other thing i thought of, which i myself think is stupid and a gutless? thing to do was to write something on a note or something with my name and number and say who i was? and hope she texted.....but to me thats just a stupid thing to do and i'd be lucky if i got a reply! Even i thought this and it was my idea!

It doesn't help that Whenever i talk to a girl and it gets even close to meeting or getting her number i end up getting really red and embarrassed and feel kinda shakey. I just can't stop it :/ and wearing a red jumper at the time wouldn't go down well turning the same colour haha!

Any ideas guys? I've never just spoke to some girl randomly before but its got to the stage of "what have i got to lose?" I've only got a month left of college too so its not as if i'll see them regularly again lol

I'm just gutted i missed this oppertunity! Advice?

Right Guys, i saw the Girl AGAIN today!

Was sitting at the computer & saw her get up and walk away from her friends towards the printer & i waited....and waited...and waited...and Bottled it again!! :@

I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her. I even tried to say Hi when i walked past her but nothing came out!!

Right, Plan of Action is:
"Hey, I've seen you around college the past few weeks & i'd like to know more about you. If you fancy meeting up for a drink or something, get in touch please". Give Paper with my Name & Mob Number..... "Hope i hear from you soon"

IF i can manage to say that amount before crumbling/fainting or sumin lol!

Any thoughts on that? Anything to change/add in? Hows the Wording?

Hoping i might see her in college today/2morrow so quick replies appreciated guys [IMG]file:///C:/Users/Chris/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.gif[/IMG]

Thanks!

**UPDATE**

Back again haha!

I was hoping to see this girl from college again this past week and get chatting to her but no sign of her whatsoever, there's only next week left of the term so if i'm honest i think she's finished early like alot of other courses. I only have to pop in next week to hand in my college laptop and do couple of corrections on an assessment so i'm pretty much done now.

Anyway, I've found her on facebook, she has a 3 or 4 Mutual friends with me but they're the 'unpopular' people from my year at school i didn't speak to much. I wasn't popular myself haha but only spoke to one of them as i used to work with her.

I've not added her as a friend or messaged her at all yet. As i'm not going to see her in college again i want to send her a message as i have nothing to lose.
Something along the lines of:

"Hey, hope you don't mind me getting in touch. I've seen you a few times around college but never alone when i could talk to you. You seem really nice and i've like to get to know you more and (possibly) meet up. Hope to hear from you soon, Chris"

Thoughts on this? the wording of it alright? Any other suggestions of what to say? In a way i want her to reply whether she's interested or not so i at least know she read it :/

Much appreciated guys, sorry if it feels like i'm bothering you all too much haha!

After those posts in the spoiler i never caught her in college again so i took the 'chance' and sent her a facebook message as follows:

"Hi L,

I hope you don't mind me getting in touch through facebook. I'm not sure if you've noticed me but I've seen you a few times in the IT centre at College, never really had the chance to talk to you but you seem like a really nice person.

Would you like to meet up some time and maybe have a chat and get to know each other more?

Hope to hear from you soon,

Chris"

Possibly a stupid thing to do, got a reply saying she doesn't think she'd seen me before and how did i know her name, so i replied saying i'd heard her friends say it and we could chat on msn if she wanted first....got no reply from there...
Main thing i've only just realised here is.... She never really said No...was understandably more interested in how i found out her name :/
Feel like a stalker now lol!

So yeah, i admit that must have been creepy but didn't expect to see her again really...


So now the Latest Update, i work in Asda and have done for nearly a year. Turns out she is in Asda a fair bit, alot even so must stay close by.

First time i served her probs july time at my checkout she was with another guy so i couldn't exactly say anything, didn't help that i felt really really embarassed incase she recognised me, i was shaky and couldn't string together much of a conversation at all!
Now i've seen her a fair few times, usually at different checkouts but not sure if she knows its me who sent the message but i really really want to tell her, even if it means she knows its me in person and it might not be as creepy :/
This past sunday morning, working away on my checkout and i hear a voice from the next customer, it was her and her friend...She's got quite an odd accent but i recognise it a mile off because of that lol, tried to keep cool, y'know deep breathes and all that :/ I seemed to manage fine, i was chatting away to her friend first then had a small chat with her basically about what she/they were doing during that day. Again i couldn't say anything with her friend there incase it embarassed her at all with her friend being there, i kinda just wanted to catch her on her own...

Finished my shift and i felt so gutted i didn't take the chance despite her being with her friend :/ I was comfortable with talking right then if her friend wasn't there

Thought to myself, "Alright, i'll try and catch her next time and take the chance, going to need to do it sometime"
So yesterday being Monday working away again and here she is again, at the checkout behind me, alone. As a big bastard trolley comes to my till, managed to work my way through it pretty quick and i'm sitting there doing nothing, her still at the till behind me, the only customer around really....and i just couldn't get any words out!! I even started talking to the middle aged woman who was serving her but i just couldn't get the words out to say to her "Hey again, how'd the college work go?" or something like that! Not just the fact i wanted to tell her I sent that message!!

So basically i need advice/motivation, i must try and tell her sometime, she's rarely at my till tho, normally someone elses to be honest and i'd probably be busy serving someone else. I really can't just leave my till and go and try and talk to her or anything, for security reasons partly but i'm also being paid to work and boss would go nuts etc if seen doing this.
I did briefly think, ah well i've spoke to her in person now so could just do another good old FB message and say that but then i came to my senses and thought "No not again i've learnt my lesson from that!"

After bottling my chance again on the Monday i was so pissed off with myself! So annoyed, could have hit my head off a bloody wall!

Help! Anyone know where i can get a bottle of 'Confidence' lol! Just a shot of it should do!!

[manutdfan]

Can you get a girl pregnant with anal sex? I'm worried I had anal sex with a girl and the condom split.

[Chris92]

Can you get a girl pregnant with anal sex? I'm worried I had anal sex with a girl and the condom split.

This guy serious....? No...No you can't :/ lol

[podsaurus]

@Chris Honestly dude I don't think you should bother at all. I know from personal experience that NOT talking to a girl in person when you have the chance and then sending a random FB message is creepy haha. I think from the very start you should have taken the hint from her. She replied to your first FB message wanting to know who you were but didn't reply when you asked to talk and stuff.

I feel the only reason she did talk to you a bit in the store was because all she thought you were is some nice, talkative guy in the store. She probably doesn't remember you at all sorry :/ Trust me I've tried messaging girls on FB it DOES NOT work. If you want to talk to a girl you MUST talk to her in person from the onset.

I'm just like you. I get nervous talking to women but I think I've gotten slightly better at it. I've had to fail many times before I got this point through my head. If other people tell you differently, to talk to her and it work, good! But me personally, I would just reel the line in, re-bait and wait for another fish. Move on. I'm sorry to say but you missed your chance and that ship has sailed.

Now I'm no expert but that how this sounds to me. Find a greener pasture because this one is brown, dry and dead!

[Thorzilla]

Sorry if I haven't been able to contribute any advice in this thread these few days but this is much harder than I thought man.

[manutdfan]

This guy serious....? No...No you can't :/ lol

Lol

[Chris92]

@Chris Honestly dude I don't think you should bother at all. I know from personal experience that NOT talking to a girl in person when you have the chance and then sending a random FB message is creepy haha. I think from the very start you should have taken the hint from her. She replied to your first FB message wanting to know who you were but didn't reply when you asked to talk and stuff.

I feel the only reason she did talk to you a bit in the store was because all she thought you were is some nice, talkative guy in the store. She probably doesn't remember you at all sorry :/ Trust me I've tried messaging girls on FB it DOES NOT work. If you want to talk to a girl you MUST talk to her in person from the onset.

I'm just like you. I get nervous talking to women but I think I've gotten slightly better at it. I've had to fail many times before I got this point through my head. If other people tell you differently, to talk to her and it work, good! But me personally, I would just reel the line in, re-bait and wait for another fish. Move on. I'm sorry to say but you missed your chance and that ship has sailed.

Now I'm no expert but that how this sounds to me. Find a greener pasture because this one is brown, dry and dead!

I know what you mean and i've learnt my lesson from the whole FB Message thing. The fact i see her often at work doesn't help, i did think ah well i tried/screw up and yeah let it go and i know its going to sound really common when people say this but i'll say it anyway... I do feel there is something different about her, i still want to talk to her and tell her it was me, even just to clear my own mind, i've always feared rejection but someday i'm going to have to talk to a girl like this so why not now, if i get rejected then yeah i'll feel crap for a while but if i'm brutally honest i've been feeling awful feelings wise for the past couple of months for another reason or two anyway so i don't think it'll make things worse lol

Appreciate the reply mate

[Beast of Bourbon]

Did you get your 3ds back Thor?

I know it sucks but the pain will fade soon.

Sent from my GT-I9001 using Tapatalk

[podsaurus]

I know what you mean and i've learnt my lesson from the whole FB Message thing. The fact i see her often at work doesn't help, i did think ah well i tried/screw up and yeah let it go and i know its going to sound really common when people say this but i'll say it anyway... I do feel there is something different about her, i still want to talk to her and tell her it was me, even just to clear my own mind, i've always feared rejection but someday i'm going to have to talk to a girl like this so why not now, if i get rejected then yeah i'll feel crap for a while but if i'm brutally honest i've been feeling awful feelings wise for the past couple of months for another reason or two anyway so i don't think it'll make things worse lol

Appreciate the reply mate

I think you just gave yourself your own motivation Look if you really want to talk to her you just have to do it. I should say also that once you start talking it's much easier. I want to save you from pulling a pod lol. Next time you see her just do it. Just say hello and 'oh you look familiar...I know you! I sent you blah blah blah...' whatever and tell her about the FB message and such.

I've learned and am still learning. I would drop the whole thing but I know the feeling of 'this girl is different'. If there are other people around, put it out of your mind. Put ALL else out of your mind. Your focus is her and it really doesn't matter who all is there or what they think. I tell myself this all the time 'pod if you don't talk to her you are going to beat yourself up over this' which I do. Just know that if you don't do something you will regret it.

You need to create your own motivation my friend. Every member on this forum can come here and tell you want to do and how to do it but that doesn't matter in the end. Because it's you who has to decide to do it. If this is something you really want you will do it.

Sorry again Thor. Pop in a nice video game and put your mind at ease!

[reggiebush22]

a mom? check ur state laws or u could be hooked

[reggiebush22]

some states can make u pay child support my dude

[Molo316]

It's been a while since I've posted in here about myself.

Recently I got re-talking to a girl who I have talked to in the past (I've probably mentioned her here before).
I basically tried asking her out in the past and she's often said yes, but then it just doesn't happen. Other time, when I've been at social events with friends she has said that she would be there, but then right at the last minute she has an excuse and doesn't turn up. So basically I knew she was a bit iffy.

So recently I started talking to her again, and it went really, really well! We spoke online. It was really short as she had to head off, but she said to text her to carry on the convo, which normally birds don't offer to me...
I waited a few days and dropped her a text. We had a good, long text conversation and threw playful banter back and forth, where she replied almost instantly every time.
I waited another day or so and then contacted her again as I was at her university with a mate who used to go there, but it wasn't one of her days and she wasn't there, although when I was asking her (via text) she replied almost instantly once again and we had a good conversation.

After another couple of days I spoke to her online again and basically asked her how she was, as when I first started talking to her again she said she has been having some problems.
Anyway, from here I just asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema, which I said I'd be willing to pay for, to try and lift her spirits a bit and just get her out of her home. She basically accepted the offer straight away, where I joked to her that I hoped she wouldn't let me down, and she said she wouldn't.

The day came (today) and I texted her in the morning to check if we were still on for tonight, as she said she would only be free from 6pm as she had university. I sent this text around 11am and didn't get anything back after 3pm. From here I tried calling her and got no answer. I dropped another text just saying that I didn't mean to be a pain but I just wanted to confirm if she still felt like meeting up, as we live some distance apart and it would usually take me at least 45 minutes to get to her location.
About 4:30pm she texted me and said that her phone has been playing up today and that her best friend wants to go check out the Breaking Dawn premiere in London, and that she was waiting to her back from her, along with the word "Sorry" at the end. From here, I didn't mind too much if it's her best friend, but this Breaking Dawn idea must have been recent, as she never mentioned it when I initially asked her to the movies, and I thought this was a bit cruddy. I operate on the basis that if I have planned something with someone, I would carry out this plan even if a best mate offered to do something after - it's just common decency.
So then I asked if she wanted to cancel and if she wanted to do it next week. She said it would be an idea to cancel and that she shouldn't be too busy next week, but then also said, "Could be wrong though, who knows?"

Things don't look too promising deep down if I'm honest, but like a soppy sod, (I feel so cringey writing this) but my heart is crying out for her. I think she is really, really good looking, or beautiful in my sense of looks, she seems decent and down to earth, used to watch wrestling and still knows about it (like myself), has a good interest in movies (like myself) and does not drink (like myself). Pretty much, her lifestyle is a perfect match for me, and whenever we talk we seem to get on like a house on fire.

So right now I'm thinking to talk to her again in a few days, but if anyone has read this, what are your thoughts?
I'm going to admit that I'm most definitely going to be hard-headed and still contact her no matter what, but I'm very open to reading what others think about this situation.

Thanks.

[podsaurus]

Molo I would say give it a shot but look at what has happened in the past. Don't get your hopes up too high thinking this time will really be different or you may walk away getting burned. I don't want to be a downer just tread lightly.

[Beast of Bourbon]

Easy:
She likes Twilight? -> Kill her with FIRE!

But honestly, it sounds like you were good enough for entertainment until something "better" turned up Molo.
Given your past experiences with her i'd say lay low and let her make the next move and don't write so much.
You don't want to be friendzoned.

[podsaurus]

I like this. Accurate or not I like it.


Source: Pimsleur Approach

[spyrde]

Totally makes me not want women anymore.

[Molo316]

Molo I would say give it a shot but look at what has happened in the past. Don't get your hopes up too high thinking this time will really be different or you may walk away getting burned. I don't want to be a downer just tread lightly.

Nah, you're not a downer, dude, you're speaking the right stuff! I think the problem also lays with me because of the fact that I like her so much that I tend to overlook her flaws every time in the end, when I know I shouldn't.
I reckon if I had a great bird come along and seem to like me I would forget all about her.

Easy:
She likes Twilight? -> Kill her with FIRE!

But honestly, it sounds like you were good enough for entertainment until something "better" turned up Molo.
Given your past experiences with her i'd say lay low and let her make the next move and don't write so much.
You don't want to be friendzoned.

I thought the same thing. It could have just been her friend who really wanted to go though...? No excuses though.

But honestly, it sounds like you were good enough for entertainment until something "better" turned up Molo.

I thought the exact same thing, as I previously stated that I would stick to original plans if I were in that situation - common decency.

I can pretty much guarantee that she won't make a move. She uses MSN (who the hell still uses that!?) and I reckon she won't start a convo.
I suppose as I write this, people who are now reading it must be banging their heads against their computer screens and thinking that there's nothing there for her and I, but I just really like her so much that it's extremely difficult to forget about her.

So with that now said, still think I should bother contacting her at all?
Part of me feels like just sending her my OP here so she could bloody read it for herself and just confirm that I like her... I'm sick of having the piss taken out of me.

[podsaurus]

I need a friend with benefits like SK suggested lol I'm getting urges but I don't want to just use a girl because I think that's just shallow. It's hard because I want to have some fun but I don't want to go pick up some whore. I don't want to go sleeping around with 10 women but there's got to be women out there who just want some excitement but aren't whores aren't there? People in RL would call me the typical 'nice guy' but god damn it I have needs and wants too!

So I got to thinking, what kind of girls(or guys, I won't judge) are you people attracted to? I do it all the time. I'm walking around on campus and certain girls are just head turners. They don't have to be perfect or anything but what makes you stop or look a little bit longer than usual? I've got some pictures I found (thanks google) of just basically what I like to see.

And yes the breasts on some of these girls are very nice. I'm a breast guy, can't change it lol.

Cute face. I like it.

Again looks like she has a cute face. Cut off but oh well.

Same here, not a completely clear look at her face but she looks pretty to me.

Yes the boobs. But she has a pretty face and her body over all looks perfect to me. Even without huge boobs I would be very attracted to this girl.

Yes again boobs...I like her eyes. I'm always looks at eyes. They're brown but I'm absolutely melt seeing a blue eyed girl. I love blue eyes.

I honestly didn't mean to put all these girls with cleavage in here. xD I think she was a pretty face as well. Her eyes don't look brown but I do like her eyes. I just really like eyes I guess.

Small picture but this girl is very cute.

I'm not really sure that you could look at those and say 'pod likes this particular type of girl' but I do feel like I have a certain familiarity with these pictures. I'm just curious about this. Regardless of personality and all, you look at a girl and have to decide in about 5 seconds if this is someone you would approach if you could.