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  1. #3001
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    Quote Originally Posted by spyrde View Post
    Haha, I'm exactly the same when I have to talk to someone I don't know or when I'm trying to break the ice. I usually just blurt out something random and start talking on and on about that. It's horrible when you're in that position but I can't help but laugh at myself afterwards when I think of a couple dates I've gone on and I've $#@!ed up miserably
    Well it's funny looking back but it sucks when you're stumbling over your words trying to find the right thing to say lol I'll just ask her what she thinks of the class we're in and go from there. Get her name, tell her mine blah blah blah

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    Quote Originally Posted by Molo316 View Post
    Okay then, $#@! it! I did also think that if I don't even do this I'll just be on the same line as always with girls - no where.
    Your right. You gotta break out of that shell or at least crack it

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  4. #3003
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    Just for those who want to know, or asked me to report back (basically):

    I didn't ask her in the end. Now before you all jump on my back in disappointment because it makes me a hypocrite in relation to the attitude I took with my last few posts, I shall explain.

    First of all, I didn't get a chance to fully engage in conversation with her, although we shared a little laugh with each other as I was writing on my hand again - I'm sure I have explained this already, so we had that.
    In the end, the guys and myself chatted with me about her. It was great for them to bring up the topic as I don't really have anyone to talk to about her in person. They were really supportive and gave me words of advice and their perceptions of her.
    One encouraged me and allowed me to see that I am making a big deal of even talking to her, and just encouraged me to go over and talk to her whenever either of us are free, so I took that on board. My other mate (who was there) also said that if I just asked her on the day she probably would have declined as she seems like someone who would prefer to have a few days notice at least before going out, as she works five days a week, as well as the Saturday, so that was fair enough. They also said that if I want any help at all with the situation that I can just ask them, and that I should just go for it if I really want to.
    In relation to me feeling like things could become awkward if my efforts with her went pear-shaped, they didn't believe things would change because apparently I'm rather well liked with other in my department, and they couldn't see people just suddenly thinking I'm a $#@! just for liking, and potentially asking her out, so that reassured me.
    All in all, a good night with some insight.

    However, today, one of my close friends kind of opened my eyes about her. He keeps basically shooting me down when I bring her up in conversation, so that upset me and I just thought that I won't bother mentioning her again because he goes on about girls and I just take it (in conversation) as a mate, whereas with me (talking about her), it seems he doesn't want to know. But he has worked at the place with her for much longer than I have and apparently he, and another guy who used to work there, believe she is a high maintenance chick. Apparently she even confessed (before) that she likes model-esque looking guys, and said that she would marry someone if they were wealthy, and then dump them if she found someone she actually loved. So essentially, my close friend says that he's just trying to warn me about her in case I get burnt, which is fair enough, but it just made me feel like $#@! because I've never had any luck with girls I really like, and she's slowly becoming one of those.
    I have yet to encounter any possible signs that is like this, what with the way she talks and all, but I don't know her fully inside and out, and my mate says that she could very well have changed, as this revelation was about three or four years ago, when she was at university, so maybe she could have grown up a little, but who really knows.

    I'm still going to talk to her, and if I can get to know her better and get closer to her then that all gravy! But if I do get burnt I will be crushed, I will not lie. When it comes to girls I like I am my own worst enemy because even if I find out something bad about them in relation to me, I still persist even though I'm pretty certain nothing can or ever will happen between us.

    So all in all, I felt really good about getting close to her on Satuday night, and tonight, I feel like $#@! about the whole thing and quite upset if I'm bloody honest.
    I was literally almost run over this morning. It didn't faze me at all, but I did think (albeit in a stupid way) that things could end abruptly at any time and that if I do want to go for her, I should just do it. Later on I did think, just say I played all of my cards and we actually got together, I could have potentially been killed this morning and that all my happiness could have vanished just like that - as well as bringing upon heartache for others, like my family - a bit of a life lesson there, which others can take notice of as well.

    If anyone reads all of this, I thank you for your time and interest. It is appreciated.
    Last edited by Molo316; 02-13-2012 at 02:50.

  5. #3004
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    Sorry to hear about that Molo. Here's some advice.. I hope you don't mind me using my own girlfriend as an example.

    When I mentioned that I liked the girl I'm currently with to my friends, they laughed. Everyone did. Everyone said she was a really weird girl, and definitely not someone I wanted to get involved with. I didn't see it that way. From what I'd seen of her, she was a pretty nice girl, and at least worth looking into. So I did. I kept talking to her, texted her on a daily basis, and she seemed like a good girl. My friends persisted. I took everything they said into account, watched for signs, and looked for things out of the ordinary. Nothing.

    I've known her for about 9 months now, and have been with her for nearly 7. Everything they said was entirely false. It may have been true in the past, but in the present, she's actually a pretty cool girl and I'm more into her than I've ever been into anyone. Point is, don't let your friends bring you down. Heed their warnings, and look for signs of the things they say, but don't let that discourage you.

    And about her liking the muscular, model-esque guys... Let's be honest. All girls are attracted to those kinds of guys, and just about every one of them wouldn't mind dating one. But most women will give that up for a sweet, caring, decent looking guy.

    I say keep moving forward. If you start noticing things you don't like, then yes, back out immediately, or maybe just become friends with her. But until then, there's no real, solid reason to back out.

    Good luck.
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  6. #3005
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    Quote Originally Posted by SchaffinOSX View Post
    Sorry to hear about that Molo. Here's some advice.. I hope you don't mind me using my own girlfriend as an example.

    When I mentioned that I liked the girl I'm currently with to my friends, they laughed. Everyone did. Everyone said she was a really weird girl, and definitely not someone I wanted to get involved with. I didn't see it that way. From what I'd seen of her, she was a pretty nice girl, and at least worth looking into. So I did. I kept talking to her, texted her on a daily basis, and she seemed like a good girl. My friends persisted. I took everything they said into account, watched for signs, and looked for things out of the ordinary. Nothing.

    I've known her for about 9 months now, and have been with her for nearly 7. Everything they said was entirely false. It may have been true in the past, but in the present, she's actually a pretty cool girl and I'm more into her than I've ever been into anyone. Point is, don't let your friends bring you down. Heed their warnings, and look for signs of the things they say, but don't let that discourage you.

    And about her liking the muscular, model-esque guys... Let's be honest. All girls are attracted to those kinds of guys, and just about every one of them wouldn't mind dating one. But most women will give that up for a sweet, caring, decent looking guy.

    I say keep moving forward. If you start noticing things you don't like, then yes, back out immediately, or maybe just become friends with her. But until then, there's no real, solid reason to back out.

    Good luck.
    Thanks, man. That's just what I needed - I actually feel better, and happy that this sort or similar situation can potentially, and has had a positive outcome. By that I mean because of your similarly described situation and the positive ending you and you lass have had

    Yeah, the first thing that popped into my head when I read your bit about any girl would love to be with a muscular guy was that at least she came clean about it. I suppose some girls would just never say it, but then still literally want it...

    Okay, thanks, I shall continue to pursue her, but I realise I should tone down my seriousness. And yeah, like I say, I haven't encountered anything myself that she is like that. So far, she seems like a fun and bubbly person to be $#@!ing honest.

    Cheers man. Your post is well appreciated

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    Quote Originally Posted by Molo316 View Post
    Just for those who want to know, or asked me to report back (basically):

    I didn't ask her in the end. Now before you all jump on my back in disappointment because it makes me a hypocrite in relation to the attitude I took with my last few posts, I shall explain.

    First of all, I didn't get a chance to fully engage in conversation with her, although we shared a little laugh with each other as I was writing on my hand again - I'm sure I have explained this already, so we had that.
    In the end, the guys and myself chatted with me about her. It was great for them to bring up the topic as I don't really have anyone to talk to about her in person. They were really supportive and gave me words of advice and their perceptions of her.
    One encouraged me and allowed me to see that I am making a big deal of even talking to her, and just encouraged me to go over and talk to her whenever either of us are free, so I took that on board. My other mate (who was there) also said that if I just asked her on the day she probably would have declined as she seems like someone who would prefer to have a few days notice at least before going out, as she works five days a week, as well as the Saturday, so that was fair enough. They also said that if I want any help at all with the situation that I can just ask them, and that I should just go for it if I really want to.
    In relation to me feeling like things could become awkward if my efforts with her went pear-shaped, they didn't believe things would change because apparently I'm rather well liked with other in my department, and they couldn't see people just suddenly thinking I'm a $#@! just for liking, and potentially asking her out, so that reassured me.
    All in all, a good night with some insight.

    However, today, one of my close friends kind of opened my eyes about her. He keeps basically shooting me down when I bring her up in conversation, so that upset me and I just thought that I won't bother mentioning her again because he goes on about girls and I just take it (in conversation) as a mate, whereas with me (talking about her), it seems he doesn't want to know. But he has worked at the place with her for much longer than I have and apparently he, and another guy who used to work there, believe she is a high maintenance chick. Apparently she even confessed (before) that she likes model-esque looking guys, and said that she would marry someone if they were wealthy, and then dump them if she found someone she actually loved. So essentially, my close friend says that he's just trying to warn me about her in case I get burnt, which is fair enough, but it just made me feel like $#@! because I've never had any luck with girls I really like, and she's slowly becoming one of those.
    I have yet to encounter any possible signs that is like this, what with the way she talks and all, but I don't know her fully inside and out, and my mate says that she could very well have changed, as this revelation was about three or four years ago, when she was at university, so maybe she could have grown up a little, but who really knows.

    I'm still going to talk to her, and if I can get to know her better and get closer to her then that all gravy! But if I do get burnt I will be crushed, I will not lie. When it comes to girls I like I am my own worst enemy because even if I find out something bad about them in relation to me, I still persist even though I'm pretty certain nothing can or ever will happen between us.

    So all in all, I felt really good about getting close to her on Satuday night, and tonight, I feel like $#@! about the whole thing and quite upset if I'm bloody honest.
    I was literally almost run over this morning. It didn't faze me at all, but I did think (albeit in a stupid way) that things could end abruptly at any time and that if I do want to go for her, I should just do it. Later on I did think, just say I played all of my cards and we actually got together, I could have potentially been killed this morning and that all my happiness could have vanished just like that - as well as bringing upon heartache for others, like my family - a bit of a life lesson there, which others can take notice of as well.

    If anyone reads all of this, I thank you for your time and interest. It is appreciated.
    I gotta say, I'm kind of disappointed. You're over analyzing things, freaking yourself out and letting your friends freak you out lol. The longer you wait, the more time there is for another guy to swoop in and snatch her up. You'll still be single thinking what if and they'll get married, have babies and live happily ever after. Rejection isn't something to get hung up on. Everyone gets rejected at some point and it's a part of the dating seen. It's better to regret something you did then something you didn't do.

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  8. #3007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thorzilla View Post
    Oh boy...how long have you known her for? And your friend? Are they dating? Elaborate or we might as well grab a gun and shoot in the dark.
    Okay so there's this new girl and she works at the bar but she has a boyfriend, but she likes me how do I do the softly approach?
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  9. #3008
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    I absolutely agree with mooninites, Molo you've gone way over the top with over-analyzing this time. From my personal experiences, this only leads to heartbreaks every time. I am in no way a Casanova with the ladies, but I've learned that trying and thinking about things too hard is not going to help you. Just going with the flow and being yourself is all that you need.
    Last edited by spyrde; 02-13-2012 at 19:10.

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    Quote Originally Posted by spyrde View Post
    I absolutely agree with mooninites, Molo you've gone way over the top with over-analyzing this time. From my personal experiences, this only leads to heartbreaks every time. I am in no way a Casanova with the ladies, but I've learned that trying and thinking about things too hard is not going to help you. Just going with the flow and being yourself is all that you need.
    I'm not going to be a hypocrite and just flat out take this on board, because I have a whole week pretty much before I see her again now (Saturday). Right now I am all for talking to her more, and I'm sure I will, but in terms of throwing all my BS thinking aside just like that, I won't be a hypocrite, because I believe that one doesn't really know how they'll act on something until they are in the situation itself!

    I appreciate you guys being supportive and wanting to give me a kick up the arse, because that is truly what I need. I'm only disappointing myself, as well as you guys who are concerned.

  11. #3010
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacP View Post
    Okay so there's this new girl and she works at the bar but she has a boyfriend, but she likes me how do I do the softly approach?
    If she's into you, into you more than she's into her current partner, get her to leave the relationship she's currently in. Don't ruin some other guys' self-esteem by getting her to cheat with you. I'm not insinuating you were going to, but it'd definitely be best for her to determine what she actually wants before getting serious with her.

    If you're just looking to get to know her, then do just that. Talk to her when you can, and if you two become friends, maybe start hanging out with a few other people. This will help her make up her mind as to what she wants, and from there, the matter should resolve itself.

    Quote Originally Posted by spyrde View Post
    I absolutely agree with mooninites, Molo you've gone way over the top with over-analyzing this time. From my personal experiences, this only leads to heartbreaks every time. I am in no way a Casanova with the ladies, but I've learned that trying and thinking about things too hard is not going to help you. Just going with the flow and being yourself is all that you need.
    Quote Originally Posted by Molo316 View Post
    I'm not going to be a hypocrite and just flat out take this on board, because I have a whole week pretty much before I see her again now (Saturday). Right now I am all for talking to her more, and I'm sure I will, but in terms of throwing all my BS thinking aside just like that, I won't be a hypocrite, because I believe that one doesn't really know how they'll act on something until they are in the situation itself!

    I appreciate you guys being supportive and wanting to give me a kick up the arse, because that is truly what I need. I'm only disappointing myself, as well as you guys who are concerned.
    Like they've all said, don't over-analyze things. I did the same thing during the entirety of my sophomore year. It wasn't until after I stopped doing this that I got into a relationship. Ultimately, the only one you're hurting by doing this is yourself. And don't go getting beat up over it, either. You've been over-analyzing; it's a common error many men make. Just try to refrain from doing so.
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  12. #3011
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    How can you tell if a guy likes you? If he acts okay when you talk to him, but may treat you different when with his friends, which one is really what he thinks about you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Black Wolf View Post
    How can you tell if a guy likes you? If he acts okay when you talk to him, but may treat you different when with his friends, which one is really what he thinks about you?
    Guys can be complicated. When around friends, sometimes guys are inclined to act somewhat differently towards you. For example, when I'm not with my friends, I'm a really considerate, caring, understanding guy. All of the kind things I say during those times are completely genuine. But when I'm with my friends, my personality is a little different, and I treat people somewhat differently.

    Point is, just because he treats you differently when he's with his friends doesn't mean the other feeling isn't real.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SchaffinOSX View Post
    Guys can be complicated. When around friends, sometimes guys are inclined to act somewhat differently towards you. For example, when I'm not with my friends, I'm a really considerate, caring, understanding guy. All of the kind things I say during those times are completely genuine. But when I'm with my friends, my personality is a little different, and I treat people somewhat differently.

    Point is, just because he treats you differently when he's with his friends doesn't mean the other feeling isn't real.
    I agree with this. We are complicated and sometimes idiotic. If he shows interest when your one on one then chances are those feelings are genuine.

  16. #3014
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    Im doing something stupid atm, starting to have feelings for one of my friends who is sort of a "player" type I think. She is flirty with me and always seems happy when she sees me (hugs and everything), but I think she acts this way with everyone. Everytime we go out with friends clubbing we have an awesome time dancing and everything, though that is as far as it gos..she usually dissapears before the end of the night and I don't see her again.

    I've been very aware of this fact, she might not just be the girlfriend type and although I tell myself to just be friends because we get on well my mind keeps going back to wanting more. My brain tells me we probably wouldn't work well together, but she is just fun to be around.

    Just tired of being single in general though..I work much better in a couple.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SchaffinOSX View Post
    Like they've all said, don't over-analyze things. I did the same thing during the entirety of my sophomore year. It wasn't until after I stopped doing this that I got into a relationship. Ultimately, the only one you're hurting by doing this is yourself. And don't go getting beat up over it, either. You've been over-analyzing; it's a common error many men make. Just try to refrain from doing so.
    Once again, taken on board.

    I'll talk to her this Saturday.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave-The-Rave View Post
    Im doing something stupid atm, starting to have feelings for one of my friends who is sort of a "player" type I think. She is flirty with me and always seems happy when she sees me (hugs and everything), but I think she acts this way with everyone. Everytime we go out with friends clubbing we have an awesome time dancing and everything, though that is as far as it gos..she usually dissapears before the end of the night and I don't see her again.

    I've been very aware of this fact, she might not just be the girlfriend type and although I tell myself to just be friends because we get on well my mind keeps going back to wanting more. My brain tells me we probably wouldn't work well together, but she is just fun to be around.

    Just tired of being single in general though..I work much better in a couple.
    I have a "friend" just like that.
    I posted about her here some time ago now because she was exactly the same with me and I began to develop feelings for her, even though I really didn't want to before. I could see that we were two completely different people, but I still wanted to talk to/text her, and she seemed very flirty and always contacting me. When we did go on nights out with other people she always disappeared too and did her own thing. In the end she got with someone, and when she did I felt a bit cut up, but it made me realise that we would never have worked and I think my feelings for her were a flash in the pan because I quite quickly got over having the hots for her and moved on.
    Of course I've got no idea how close you two are, but that's just my experience shared with you because I've been through a similar thing.
    I'm not sure if that's helped at all, so apologies if it hasn't done anything for you, but there you go.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Molo316 View Post
    Once again, taken on board.

    I'll talk to her this Saturday.


    I have a "friend" just like that.
    I posted about her here some time ago now because she was exactly the same with me and I began to develop feelings for her, even though I really didn't want to before. I could see that we were two completely different people, but I still wanted to talk to/text her, and she seemed very flirty and always contacting me. When we did go on nights out with other people she always disappeared too and did her own thing. In the end she got with someone, and when she did I felt a bit cut up, but it made me realise that we would never have worked and I think my feelings for her were a flash in the pan because I quite quickly got over having the hots for her and moved on.
    Of course I've got no idea how close you two are, but that's just my experience shared with you because I've been through a similar thing.
    I'm not sure if that's helped at all, so apologies if it hasn't done anything for you, but there you go.
    Well we're not really that close, I only met her in September when I moved in with my housemates who do the same course as her. Though still...hard to not get feelings when she is being a bit flirty and we have things in common. During predrinks the other night she walked into the room and sat on my knee..of course I play it cool around her. I think if anything were to happen, it would probably happen naturally..so Im not going to push anything. Friends for the time being, cause she is a good friend..wouldn't want to make that awkward.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave-The-Rave View Post
    Well we're not really that close, I only met her in September when I moved in with my housemates who do the same course as her. Though still...hard to not get feelings when she is being a bit flirty and we have things in common. During predrinks the other night she walked into the room and sat on my knee..of course I play it cool around her. I think if anything were to happen, it would probably happen naturally..so Im not going to push anything. Friends for the time being, cause she is a good friend..wouldn't want to make that awkward.
    Fair enough.
    For me, the knee thing is quite suggestive, or she is just a big flirt.

    You seem to know what you want to do, so good luck to you.

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    Valentines Day is such a big "$#@! you" to single people, including me. But I have a gameplan.


    My college usually has themed pub nights every thursday. For obvious reasons, this week they will host a V-DAY pub night. I was thinking that since I'm such a $#@! and can't talk to women, maybe I could be that lone-wolf stranger type that sits by the bar, having shots all alone and that the wild huntress (some college girl) approaches me and socializes because she too, is lonely or super drunk. Or I could pretend I'm emo and dumb and sit alone at a table looking at people dance and hope that someone will notice me.


  21. #3019
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    I'd take a drink with you but im not your type

    It could work if you're really good at "sitting alone drinking your sorrow away".
    Don't pretend to be emo or dumb though

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  23. #3020
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    Quote Originally Posted by DreDayDetox View Post
    Valentines Day is such a big "$#@! you" to single people, including me. But I have a gameplan.


    My college usually has themed pub nights every thursday. For obvious reasons, this week they will host a V-DAY pub night. I was thinking that since I'm such a $#@! and can't talk to women, maybe I could be that lone-wolf stranger type that sits by the bar, having shots all alone and that the wild huntress (some college girl) approaches me and socializes because she too, is lonely or super drunk. Or I could pretend I'm emo and dumb and sit alone at a table looking at people dance and hope that someone will notice me.
    Lol dude you've been watching too many movies. I'm sure there is gonna be a lot of single girls with their friends so go have a good time and flirt your ass off

    ~~Holy crap I'm Tapatalking

  24. #3021
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beast of Bourbon View Post
    I'd take a drink with you but im not your type

    It could work if you're really good at "sitting alone drinking your sorrow away".
    Don't pretend to be emo or dumb though





    The drink's on me


  25. #3022
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacP View Post
    Okay so there's this new girl and she works at the bar but she has a boyfriend, but she likes me how do I do the softly approach?
    To me, that's a big fat no in my book. Not just because I'd never do anything to nab a lady from his boyfriend, but because if she does leave him for you, doesn't that scream that she'd do the same to you? For all you know, she could like someone later after being with you and leave you after cheating or something.
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  26. #3023
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    Yeah, don't go messing with another guy's girlfriend.
    Trophy-licious!


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  27. #3024
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    How can a guy who dig in his nose, then dig in his butt, then eat it get a girlfriend?

    Currently Playing: Lumines Electronic Symphony (Vita)

  28. #3025
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Black Wolf View Post
    How can a guy who dig in his nose, then dig in his butt, then eat it get a girlfriend?
    ???
    Trophy-licious!


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