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  1. #3251
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellsJester View Post
    I would never be with someone who was a asshole to me even 10% of the time. Love is a powerful thing. Makes people stay with each other even if one of them is treating the other like $#@! which isnt cool. She obviously cares for you and is considering bailing from the asshole she is with now. I dont know you but if you are a better man than he is and will treat her better then she should be with you. People make mistakes and her being engaged to this guy could be one of them. You could be saving her from the biggest mistake of her life.
    I suppose, I guess I'll just sit back and see what happens. As it stands, she's still with him so we're in this 'complicated relationship' stage and it's just a bit of an emotional mind$#@!. I guess it's just the whole morals coming into play.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    I suppose, I guess I'll just sit back and see what happens. As it stands, she's still with him so we're in this 'complicated relationship' stage and it's just a bit of an emotional mind$#@!. I guess it's just the whole morals coming into play.
    Well she is a adult and can make decisions for herself so how about you let all your feelings be known and leave the decision up to her? If she decides to leave him and be with you then that was her decision so you have nothing to worry about. If she decides to stay with him you can at least say you tried and have no regrets. I would definitely regret it if i didnt try.

  3. #3253
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellsJester View Post
    Well she is a adult and can make decisions for herself so how about you let all your feelings be known and leave the decision up to her? If she decides to leave him and be with you then that was her decision so you have nothing to worry about. If she decides to stay with him you can at least say you tried and have no regrets. I would definitely regret it if i didnt try.
    Ah, she knows how I feel. We had a pretty big heart-to-heart the other night and literally all of our feelings were brought out into the open. We love each other, we want each other, she even wanted me when she was with her ex. It's just the fact she's with her fiancee (who she does love...) that's holding 'us' up.

  4. #3254
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    Ah, she knows how I feel. We had a pretty big heart-to-heart the other night and literally all of our feelings were brought out into the open. We love each other, we want each other, she even wanted me when she was with her ex. It's just the fact she's with her fiancee (who she does love...) that's holding 'us' up.
    What else could you have done then?
    The way you posted sounded like if you said the right things she would call off the wedding and be with you so thats how i replied to your posts. Sounds like she has all the info she needs to know so all you gotta do is wait for her decision.

  5. #3255
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellsJester View Post
    What else could you have done then? The way you posted sounded like if you said the right things she would call off the wedding and be with you so thats how i replied to your posts. Sounds like she has all the info she needs to know so all you gotta do is wait for her decision.
    I was asking for advice on whether I should drop it and stop her from splitting up with the fiancee if that is indeed what she was planning on doing. I love her but I'm not keen on the idea of being a home-wrecker, you know?

  6. #3256
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    Hi Jaeger, this is Wrath's girlfriend.

    So you don't have to take on this advice but my partner was telling me about this post and I thought maybe you would like a girls perspective on your situation.

    Firstly don't think in anyway this is your fault or feel guilty for your true feelings and emotions towards this girl. I don't mean to sound corny or anything but... Love is a powerful emotion and you can't control the ones you love or fall for.

    Secondly it is NOT in anyway your responsibility to take control of their relationship, you have enough to worry about in your life and having a child is a major priority and I'm sure is your number one priority. So just make sure you are happy with your life and your child is going to be protected in this situation. (Not trying to tell you how to be a parent or anything, because I'm not one as of yet, but I know when my mother had new people come into our lives, she always made sure i was protected). It is up to your girl to make the big decision with her fiancÚ to leave him and she should make the decision quickly because the worse thing to do when you love someone and you can't be with them... Is having to wait for them.

    Lastly... This situation is seriously complicated but you two seem to want to be together, love one another and you've shared your true feelings between each other. The next step is to get to that happy place where you both want to be standing in. It's not going to be easy and it's going to be a rocky road a head for you both. Just keep on believing in one another and don't give up. Hopefully time will fly and you'll be in each others arms once again...

    Just follow your heart and you'll never get lost...

    xx
    Wrath's girlfriend



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  8. #3257
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath View Post
    Hi Jaeger, this is Wrath's girlfriend.

    So you don't have to take on this advice but my partner was telling me about this post and I thought maybe you would like a girls perspective on your situation.

    Firstly don't think in anyway this is your fault or feel guilty for your true feelings and emotions towards this girl. I don't mean to sound corny or anything but... Love is a powerful emotion and you can't control the ones you love or fall for.

    Secondly it is NOT in anyway your responsibility to take control of their relationship, you have enough to worry about in your life and having a child is a major priority and I'm sure is your number one priority. So just make sure you are happy with your life and your child is going to be protected in this situation. (Not trying to tell you how to be a parent or anything, because I'm not one as of yet, but I know when my mother had new people come into our lives, she always made sure i was protected). It is up to your girl to make the big decision with her fiancÚ to leave him and she should make the decision quickly because the worse thing to do when you love someone and you can't be with them... Is having to wait for them.

    Lastly... This situation is seriously complicated but you two seem to want to be together, love one another and you've shared your true feelings between each other. The next step is to get to that happy place where you both want to be standing in. It's not going to be easy and it's going to be a rocky road a head for you both. Just keep on believing in one another and don't give up. Hopefully time will fly and you'll be in each others arms once again...

    Just follow your heart and you'll never get lost...

    xx
    Wrath's girlfriend
    well said.
    100% agree.

  9. #3258
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath View Post
    Firstly don't think in anyway this is your fault or feel guilty for your true feelings and emotions towards this girl. I don't mean to sound corny or anything but love is a powerful emotion and you can't control the ones you love or fall for.
    I know I can't control my feelings for this girl but I can control what happens between her fiance and her. If I get with her, he'll be left heartbroken and she'll be hurting to some degree. If I don't get with her, they stay together but I'll be hurt and she'll be hurt to some degree. It's a situation where, no matter what the result, two of us will end up getting hurt, with one of those two being left heartbroken.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath View Post
    Secondly it is NOT in anyway your responsibility to take control of their relationship, you have enough to worry about in your life and having a child is a major priority and I'm sure is your number one priority. So just make sure you are happy with your life and your child is going to be protected in this situation. (Not trying to tell you how to be a parent or anything, because I'm not one as of yet, but I know when my mother had new people come into our lives, she always made sure i was protected). It is up to your girl to make the big decision with her fiance to leave him and she should make the decision quickly because the worse thing to do when you love someone and you can't be with them, is having to wait for them.
    My daughter would, of course, be fully protected through all this. This girl knows of my daughter, obviously, and wouldn't do a thing to hurt her. Her fiance even has a child of his own from a past relationship so he'd do no harm either. As mentioned, the only people open to being hurt in this are us three.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath View Post
    This situation is seriously complicated but you two seem to want to be together, love one another and you've shared your true feelings between each other. The next step is to get to that happy place where you both want to be standing in. It's not going to be easy and it's going to be a rocky road a head for you both. Just keep on believing in one another and don't give up. Hopefully time will fly and you'll be in each others arms once again...
    That's the thing, we've never been together properly (at least not romantically) but we both know we want one another, we love each other, etc. It's just this situation really is getting to me. And not just me, it's driving her crazy. Her head is a mess right now and watching her suffer is heartbreaking. Part of me wants to tell her to stay with him because at least then it will end the confusion, regardless of how heartbroken I'll be left feeling. I just don't know what to do, what to think or what to say.

    Thank you, Mrs Wrath.

  10. #3259
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    She's staying with him...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    She's staying with him...
    Which proves that she wasn't worth it from the very beginning because now she just juggled with your emotions one too many times. I know it's hard but you'll find a better one!



  12. #3261
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath View Post
    Which proves that she wasn't worth it from the very beginning because now she just juggled with your emotions one too many times. I know it's hard but you'll find a better one!
    I know, it's just...you know, it's like I thought I'd finally be able to properly move on into another relationship rather than just some one-night stand. I had my hopes pinned on this, you know, and it's just...urgh. I feel so $#@!.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    I know, it's just...you know, it's like I thought I'd finally be able to properly move on into another relationship rather than just some one-night stand. I had my hopes pinned on this, you know, and it's just...urgh. I feel so $#@!.
    Feel like $#@! man. That's the first step towards healing, right?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    She's staying with him...
    Damn.
    Sorry to hear that. Better luck next time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thorzilla View Post
    Feel like $#@! man. That's the first step towards healing, right?
    Maybe. I don't know.

    I'm just sick of being $#@!ed around all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    Maybe. I don't know.

    I'm just sick of being $#@!ed around all the time.
    I feel for you, Jaeger. I'm quite a bit younger than you, and in a completely different place in my life right now, but about a year ago I was being led on by girls and every time I thought that it would finally work out, things fell apart. You'll find someone though. Just start looking in the least likely of places.

    When I first met my girlfriend of nearly a year now, I honestly didn't want a relationship with her. Then I realized she was perfect for me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    Maybe. I don't know.

    I'm just sick of being $#@!ed around all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SchaffinOSX View Post
    I feel for you, Jaeger. I'm quite a bit younger than you, and in a completely different place in my life right now, but about a year ago I was being led on by girls and every time I thought that it would finally work out, things fell apart. You'll find someone though. Just start looking in the least likely of places.

    When I first met my girlfriend of nearly a year now, I honestly didn't want a relationship with her. Then I realized she was perfect for me.
    And that's where the problem lies.

    For reasons I don't wish to go in to, I am actually unable to force myself to go out in to the outside world and look in the right places. I've had numerous people tell me I should just go out with my mates and go clubbing, etc but any mates I did have here have now moved on with their lives and relocated. I'm staying where I am for obvious reasons so I'm kind of left alone with no mates to go clubbing with.

    And as mentioned at the beginning, I'm unable to bring myself to head out in to town by myself. The chances of me finding someone by looking in the least likely places are getting slimmer and slimmer. I guess this is why I had so much hope pinned on her and I getting together. It just sucks that whenever I've hoped to move on and find happiness, something comes along and $#@!s all over me.

  19. #3268
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    And that's where the problem lies.

    For reasons I don't wish to go in to, I am actually unable to force myself to go out in to the outside world and look in the right places. I've had numerous people tell me I should just go out with my mates and go clubbing, etc but any mates I did have here have now moved on with their lives and relocated. I'm staying where I am for obvious reasons so I'm kind of left alone with no mates to go clubbing with.

    And as mentioned at the beginning, I'm unable to bring myself to head out in to town by myself. The chances of me finding someone by looking in the least likely places are getting slimmer and slimmer. I guess this is why I had so much hope pinned on her and I getting together. It just sucks that whenever I've hoped to move on and find happiness, something comes along and $#@!s all over me.
    Well you are left with two choices now, either you just give up hope, sit at home and wait for happiness to come to you OR you'll man up and do something about your situation. You can say that it's easier said than done, but it's pretty much just up to you and how much you want it. If you want something then work for it, everyone's gonna fail a couple of times, but that's what makes the prize so great.

    First thing tomorrow you're gonna walk up to the cute girl at the subway restaurant and make a little smalltalk. If everything goes smooth, ask for her number. If she says no, $#@! that, move on to the girl sitting alone at Starbucks. You'll never win if you never try, right?

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  20. #3269
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    Quote Originally Posted by spyrde View Post
    Well you are left with two choices now, either you just give up hope, sit at home and wait for happiness to come to you OR you'll man up and do something about your situation. You can say that it's easier said than done, but it's pretty much just up to you and how much you want it. If you want something then work for it, everyone's gonna fail a couple of times, but that's what makes the prize so great.

    First thing tomorrow you're gonna walk up to the cute girl at the Subway restaurant and make a little smalltalk. If everything goes smooth, ask for her number. If she says no, $#@! that, move on to the girl sitting alone at Starbucks. You'll never win if you never try, right?
    But that's the problem I was referring to. I don't want to launch into it as not only am I embarrassed by it but I'll probably have some moron brand me an attention $#@! but I lack the inner strength to just approach any random girl and strike a conversation up with them. I've tried before in the past and just ended up looking like an idiot. Trust me, if I had the confidence to do it, I would.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    But that's the problem I was referring to. I don't want to launch into it as not only am I embarrassed by it but I'll probably have some moron brand me an attention $#@! but I lack the inner strength to just approach any random girl and strike a conversation up with them. I've tried before in the past and just ended up looking like an idiot. Trust me, if I had the confidence to do it, I would.
    If you have an attitude like that then unfortunately happiness won't come. It doesn't walk through the door, you have to work for it. YOU are the only reason for your misery, and the only person blocking your path to happiness. Confidence comes by accepting yourself and not caring on what others think.

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  22. #3271
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    Quote Originally Posted by spyrde View Post
    If you have an attitude like that then unfortunately happiness won't come. It doesn't walk through the door, you have to work for it. YOU are the only reason for your misery, and the only person blocking your path to happiness. Confidence comes by accepting yourself and not caring on what others think.
    OK, well, let's put it this way; if nearly ten years of counseling hasn't helped me overcome my severe anxiety disorder then I hardly think a few well-placed words on a forum will do much good. I mean no offence by that, but it's just really not that easy whatsoever for me to just wake up and decide that today will be the day I'll go out and meet someone. I just can't do that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    OK, well, let's put it this way; if nearly ten years of counseling hasn't helped me overcome my severe anxiety disorder then I hardly think a few well-placed words on a forum will do much good. I mean no offence by that, but it's just really not that easy whatsoever for me to just wake up and decide that today will be the day I'll go out and meet someone. I just can't do that.
    I think the general message spyrde is trying to get across is that if you want happiness, you're going to have to work for it. If you're lacking in confidence, then work on that first. The moment you become more confident your anxiety will plummet and you'll be on the road to a happier life. Gaining confidence isn't always easy, but there are numerous things you can do that should have your confidence levels rising.

    To list some of the many I've come across:

    - Look good; this means dress sharp, have good posture, keep your hair and skin in order, etc.
    - Contribute to something; be it a job, a shelter, or helping anyone in need, contributing to society in one way or another will make you feel loads better.
    - Show gratitude; it'll give people more respect towards you and make you feel better about your public image.
    - Be healthy; it's proven that people who work out and eat healthy are much more confident, and for obvious reasons.

    I'm sure you've already heard most of these before, but a reminder never hurts. If you want to be happier, you have to focus on becoming a more confident person. Everything else will follow. You might have been battling this for ten years or more, but this isn't the kind of thing you can put on the back seat if you're looking to find the right girl for you and lead a happier life.
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    Remember a few pages back how I was with this girl (not bf/gf officially, just seeing each other). Well, I lost complete interest in her. And I think she has in me too, she doesn't text me anymore lol. Here's the thing, this girl is boring as hell. I tried to ask her out to the beach or go to Niagara Falls for a fun day trip and she refuses on the fact that she's never been out of the city before (and she's 20 years of age, how the hell do you not visit something outside of your city?).

    She even invited herself over to my place to watch some movies. I thought that was gonna seal the deal, but we were both pussies. I didn't make a movie because I'm a $#@!ing huge $#@!. The only thing we share is our taste in grunge music, except that's all she likes, nothing else. I can't be with someone that boring. There was literally no chemistry whatsoever. And to top it off, I hear say $#@! like "I don't care for my well being anyway" wtf is that? She doesn't even come off remotely emo. But that to me is a red flag.

    I want someone who likes some of the things I like: videogames, music of almost all genres and film. That's all I ask for. I even asked her if she wants to play some two-players games. Nada. I guess it's back to dating sites again...and I had high hopes for myself because this is the first girl I met offline. I never had any success online because going on dating sites is like going for a job interview, you literally have to be perfect for these over-pretentious and materialistic $#@!es. I realize everyone is materialistic and superficial, but there are people are who more of that than they should be. They're literally pipe dreaming.

    So now, I've been going to the gym as women have no love for fat guys, and I don't want a fat girl myself, so I guess it's only fair I go to the gym and lose weight, but then I still don't meet their other criteria, money. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the guy has to pay on a date. I don't believe in that at all. I believe in equality. You pay for your $#@!, I pay for mine. It costs me enough gas to get to your place, so technically, I am already paying for you.

    I know that makes me seem like a selfish asshole, and I would probably believe that If I actually have experience with women, but I don't because I have to work my ass off for these 21st century broads. And it's funny cause I've seen ugly and fat dudes with super hot women. Though they're probably rich guys. Why can't I get cut a break for once? I'm not saying I need a wild woman, but I need one that likes herself or her life and is not so damn depressed looking all the time.

    My best chances are in college, but I have no confidence to approach a woman because I fear rejection.


    /butthurt


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    Well, 16th wedding anniversary today.




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    Quote Originally Posted by F34R View Post
    Well, 16th wedding anniversary today.
    Congrats!!
    I wish i had a wife to have anniversaries with.

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