Birds and the Bees -Official Relationship Thread-

[DreDayDetox]

And I'm back.

So it seems I have found another interesting girl that I like and see a possible or potential mate in for me.

She's 25 years old and I'm 23 (just turned today). I never thought I'd be into older women, and it's not that big of an age gap, but I always liked to have someone my age, or at the very least, only 1 or 2 years younger than me. But for some reason, I am incredibly turned on by her age. And it's not only that, she's very sociable and friendly.

I like her a lot, but I don't wanna end up in feared "friend zone" I wanna start a relationship with her. The good news is that she's in my course, and in all my classes. The course is 3 years, so I have excellent timing for me and her to hook up.

The problem is, she works part-time, so I tried asking her out, but she's working a lot. My biggest goal here is to tell her I like her, before anyone else moves in on her.

She's got an awesome personality. I even gave her a piece of my birthday cake and helped her with some homework, and I only do this to people I respect and like. I even walk with her to our cars since we are parked in the same areas of the college parking lot. But I really wanna get with this girl...

The other problem with this thing is that we are in the same course, so if anyone got a hint of me and her being together or if we ever pair up and we break up, it will be super awkward the rest of the three years there, and I have a rule to never get into a relationship with a classmate, at least until the year is over. But I'm willing to break that rule because I like her a lot.

To sum it up, how do I tell her I like her? We're roughly 3 weeks in the course schedule, should I give it some time? Are there any tests I can put her through that will help me find out if she's actually into me? Like for example, ask her a question in a certain way and the way she answers it will determine if she also shares the sames feeling or is open to a relationship with another classmate?

Seems like psychology assessment, but it's not, I want her badly.

[Sir_Scud]

First off, it's your bday, Dre? Well happy birthday! Honestly, if you like someone you shouldn't dwell immediately on "if we break up it will make things awkward". It happens. My ex gf was in the same courses as me, and to top it off her new bf would be in a few of my classes too. Shit sucks, but you get used to it.

Here's some easy tests. First off, does she laugh at any jokes you make? I seriously have this horrible joke that's not even remotely funny I use on someone I'm interested in. If a girl digs you, she will at the very least give a courtesy laugh/smile. But even that shit is hardly a detector. Basically if both of you get along, laugh a lot, smile, and generally make connections with similar interests...then you're onto something. Based on what you've said thus far, it's hard to gauge her interest and would be weary saying you should tell her you like her.

Study dates, dinner dates are great too. Schedule those things. Get to know her outside of class. Do something that has nothing to do with your subjects, etc. I do get that she's busy a lot, and it doesn't sound like she's blowing you off or anything. Give it time.

[DreDayDetox]

Thank you, sounds good. Yeah my strategy now is to help her as much as possible where she needs it. She has trouble navigating around the college cause it's her first time there and I don't blame her, that is by far the most confusing college I have ever been to. I can still help her with homework, and we are both interested in one aspect of that course: sound design. She comes from a sound background, so I'll try to partner up with her on projects. But man oh man, she is my mission. Thanks again for the advice and I will use it.

[Sir_Scud]

Sounds good Dre. Keep us updated!

[spyrde]

Thank you, sounds good. Yeah my strategy now is to help her as much as possible where she needs it. She has trouble navigating around the college cause it's her first time there and I don't blame her, that is by far the most confusing college I have ever been to. I can still help her with homework, and we are both interested in one aspect of that course: sound design. She comes from a sound background, so I'll try to partner up with her on projects. But man oh man, she is my mission. Thanks again for the advice and I will use it.

TBH, not a good plan if you want to avoid that friendzone like you said earlier. Don't be the helpful white knight always helping the damsel in distress. Even though you think she has a great personality and would never use you for stuff, the next thing you know she's telling you how she has a crush on another dude.

I really wouldn't start overanalyzing all this man, make it fairly clear that you're interested in her and if she isn't then move on.

[Molo316]

It very well could Molo. You should do it at a time you feel comfortable, but remember you'll always be nervous so don't base it on your nerves. Like others suggested, you don't have to flat out say I like you more then a friend, but if you specifically use the word "date" that feeling is already implied. For my first serious relationship, it sort of began like this. We went on a few hang outs where it seemed we were just friends, we'd accidentally nudge hands and apologize just like you described. Eventually on one of our hang outs, I simply just asked if she would like to go on an actual date with me. My best advice is just taking the approach that you're most comfortable with, but don't fear rejection because it does happen sometimes, to me quite a few with some funny stories as well.

Sorry to butt in.

Cheers mate. Well hopefully I'll be able to set a good mood throughout the entire evening, and then see how it all is later on and go from there. I'll say the words that come to me naturally and everything.

Thanks for your opinions guy.

[DreDayDetox]

I felt like a total creeper today.

I basically waited for her to finish doing her stuff after class was done. We were all in groups, and she was with her group. I could have went because I had no business there after class was done, but I waited for her in hopes of going with her to our cars in the lot. It was ruined by her friend who walked with her. So they exited, and I went after a few seconds. I naturally had to go the same way, but as I was walking, her friend kept looking back at me, so I just went in another direction for a minute, turned around and went back the way I normally do when I go to my car. She was leaving by the time I got to the lot. I felt like a total fucking creeper on the way home. I drove a little angry because of that.

This is getting out of hand, and I think I should back off a little. My mom tells me that her friend looking back at me is a sign that she's telling this girl I like her, even though I never speak to her. I don't agree with this, nor do I disagree. For all I know, it could be something bad about me. But I gave this girl a piece of my birthday cake, so her friend could have easily observed that and made the connection.

Fuck.

[Sir_Scud]

Dre, don't make connections that might not be there. There's not necessarily any reason to believe the friend made that connection. Just your brain getting the better of you. I will say this, what you posted does sound a bit creepy. Your face/body signals might have been awkward as well when you were lingering in class/walking behind them. Even when you changed directions it might have come off odd.

Just play it cool, try to make things seem natural. Lingering around probably wasn't a great idea. Sorry shit went down horribly man. But I really believe your brain is over thinking and making a case for this or that when it may not have been anything you said. Unfortunately, I think you may have sent off a strong creeper vibe to the friend. But don't let that get to you. Hopefully the girl you like doesn't think that.

[podsaurus]

I felt like a total creeper today.

I basically waited for her to finish doing her stuff after class was done. We were all in groups, and she was with her group. I could have went because I had no business there after class was done, but I waited for her in hopes of going with her to our cars in the lot. It was ruined by her friend who walked with her. So they exited, and I went after a few seconds. I naturally had to go the same way, but as I was walking, her friend kept looking back at me, so I just went in another direction for a minute, turned around and went back the way I normally do when I go to my car. She was leaving by the time I got to the lot. I felt like a total fucking creeper on the way home. I drove a little angry because of that.

This is getting out of hand, and I think I should back off a little. My mom tells me that her friend looking back at me is a sign that she's telling this girl I like her, even though I never speak to her. I don't agree with this, nor do I disagree. For all I know, it could be something bad about me. But I gave this girl a piece of my birthday cake, so her friend could have easily observed that and made the connection.

Fuck.

I think spys response on the last page would be most helpful to you. When you talk to her next make jokes with her and be a bit flirty so she knows there is some interest.

A couple years ago I went out with this girl(I screwed it up pretty fast but that one night went well). We were driving to a movie and on the way there we passed a sex toy shop. I joked and asked if she wanted to stop there. She said we only just met. I responded with 'ok maybe on the way home.' She giggled and told me maybe(we didn't lol). We were back in her dorm watching tv and she got very comfortable with me on the couch. I sat down and she laid down so her head rested on my lap. I rested my arm on her waist and she didnt move away.

I wouldn't say I swept her off her feet but she seemed very comfortable with me and I figured she was interested. I say it all the time and NEVER do it myself: just talk to her, establish your interest and intentions from the start.

[DeviousOne]

From what I've read triple D let it go this woman has given any ioi's towards you based on what you've posted.

Seems like you just swinging for the fences in this situation. There is nothing ur going to be able to do if there is no interest on her end.

Too many chicks to be worrying about one. You can take what happened today as a lesson bro. I'd just try to be cool with her and keep ish casual at the moment

[DreDayDetox]

Dre, don't make connections that might not be there. There's not necessarily any reason to believe the friend made that connection. Just your brain getting the better of you. I will say this, what you posted does sound a bit creepy. Your face/body signals might have been awkward as well when you were lingering in class/walking behind them. Even when you changed directions it might have come off odd.

Just play it cool, try to make things seem natural. Lingering around probably wasn't a great idea. Sorry shit went down horribly man. But I really believe your brain is over thinking and making a case for this or that when it may not have been anything you said. Unfortunately, I think you may have sent off a strong creeper vibe to the friend. But don't let that get to you. Hopefully the girl you like doesn't think that.

Yeah, I am over-thinking this. I hate myself for it, because I end up hurting my own feelings when I think I'm so sure I'm in love, and then the other party is not interested. I'll play it cool, that's my gameplan. I'm gonna back off and speak when spoken to.

I think spys response on the last page would be most helpful to you. When you talk to her next make jokes with her and be a bit flirty so she knows there is some interest.

A couple years ago I went out with this girl(I screwed it up pretty fast but that one night went well). We were driving to a movie and on the way there we passed a sex toy shop. I joked and asked if she wanted to stop there. She said we only just met. I responded with 'ok maybe on the way home.' She giggled and told me maybe(we didn't lol). We were back in her dorm watching tv and she got very comfortable with me on the couch. I sat down and she laid down so her head rested on my lap. I rested my arm on her waist and she didnt move away.

I wouldn't say I swept her off her feet but she seemed very comfortable with me and I figured she was interested. I say it all the time and NEVER do it myself: just talk to her, establish your interest and intentions from the start.

I'll keep this in mind, but it's gonna be hard because there's not exactly any private moment for us to talk.

From what I've read triple D let it go this woman has given any ioi's towards you based on what you've posted.

Seems like you just swinging for the fences in this situation. There is nothing ur going to be able to do if there is no interest on her end.

Too many chicks to be worrying about one. You can take what happened today as a lesson bro. I'd just try to be cool with her and keep ish casual at the moment

I dunno, it's only been three weeks of school, I'm not giving up this fast. Technically, she still has my tuppleware and some equipment of mine that I have to get back. I am generous person in real life, but I don't like that being taken advantage of.

[DeviousOne]

So has this girl given any interest? Have you guys hung out alone or hung out?

[DreDayDetox]

She has work right after school near a restaurant close to where I live, so no. Unless you count going go to our cars and talking.

[play_b3yond_313]

Thank you, sounds good. Yeah my strategy now is to help her as much as possible where she needs it. She has trouble navigating around the college cause it's her first time there and I don't blame her, that is by far the most confusing college I have ever been to. I can still help her with homework, and we are both interested in one aspect of that course: sound design. She comes from a sound background, so I'll try to partner up with her on projects. But man oh man, she is my mission. Thanks again for the advice and I will use it.

From personal experience, helping with homework will not automatically make her like you the way you intend. I practically devoted a whole summer to help some bitch out with homework only to have things blow up in my face a year later. Not worth the time. Basically, straight up ask her out and express how you feel. Best way to avoid "the zone". Just my 2 cents anyway.

[DeviousOne]

She has work right after school near a restaurant close to where I live, so no. Unless you count going go to our cars and talking.

So when you talk to her is it school related more than 50% of the time??

[DreDayDetox]

So when you talk to her is it school related more than 50% of the time??

50/50 really..some stuff is school, the other is stuff about ourselves and what we like based on past experiences

[podsaurus]

50/50 really..some stuff is school, the other is stuff about ourselves and what we like based on past experiences

I hope you can figure out what will work best and can move forward. I've been stuck so many times because I can't get a girl by herself but keep trying dude!

[DreDayDetox]

I hope you can figure out what will work best and can move forward. I've been stuck so many times because I can't get a girl by herself but keep trying dude!

It's usually when we walk to our cars on Mondays where I have like at least 5-8 minutes speaking time. And even so, there are three years left for me in this course, so you could say I have "all the time in the world" but thanks again for the reply and advice. Appreciate it.

[DeviousOne]

Yeah I'm going to PM you and have a real talk with you bro.

[DreDayDetox]

Yeah I'm going to PM you and have a real talk with you bro.

S

Sounds good, but let's do it on facebook, the messages load faster and I'm there more often.

[$Greatness$]

You guys, just do what I do and that's this...

Walk up to the chicken. Look her square in the eyes and say...

"I want to feel your tonsils."

Works every time.

[podsaurus]

You guys, just do what I do and that's this...

Walk up to the chicken. Look her square in the eyes and say...

"I want to feel your tonsils."

Works every time.

This is good....if you would like to be kicked in the balls today

As much as I love women and I see tons of cute girls on campus I just can not garner enough interest. Plus I am still not very confident talking to women anyway.

[Cybertox]

Something strange is happening. A lot of my friends recently on facebook go from being in a realationship into single.

[DeviousOne]

You guys, just do what I do and that's this...

Walk up to the chicken. Look her square in the eyes and say...

"I want to feel your tonsils."

Works every time.

Why have I never thought of this....chickens always be ready for some plucking and clucking lmao...

Triple D ill hit you up on FB as soon as I get home brah!

[spyrde]

Something strange is happening. A lot of my friends recently on facebook go from being in a realationship into single.

Just summer romances ending probably