Birds and the Bees -Official Relationship Thread-

[EvilJ0k3r]

Sweet pic mate. She is beautiful, you are a lucky guy

Thanks man! (: I like to say I already know so but she always is like psh, whatever! Lol

[RaY_210]

Thanks man! (: I like to say I already know so but she always is like psh, whatever! Lol

You look like some guy I used to work with at my old job lol

[F34R]

Been with my girlfriend, haven't broken up since then! We are really close and we're getting even closer!



That's me as her! Happiest couple ever!!!

Great pic, great smiles!!!

[SchaffinOSX]

So, weird things are happening. Quick background information:

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and a half. We've been happy the entirety of the time, and despite having the occasional argument, I really thought that her and I would be together for a very, very long time. As time has passed, things have become less and less certain. Our fights happen more frequently, our encounters have become somewhat unexciting, and our text / phone conversations have gone dull. My initial thought was to try and talk with her and make things become better. I've done that, and yet many of the problems we were having are still present, or are simply being ignored outright. I continued to be optimistic, as our relationship has still been full of happy moments, and I know she truly cares about me.

But then, I started talking to another girl more frequently. A good friend of mine who I've always been attracted to, and was starting to show potential signs of interest. I took the bait and started chatting her up. Before I knew it I had her at my house and I was helping her with some Physics homework she didn't understand. There were various times throughout the evening that it was obvious we were both interested in each other, especially as I walked her out to her car, but we departed with a simple, harmless hug. Tonight, we both had to leave school somewhat late, so I decided to walk her out again, and we shared some kisses.

I am really into this girl. She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met. She's full of laughter and happiness and when I'm with her, I'm the same way. She's an amazing person to be around. But in the back of my head, I know that I've crossed a crucial line: I'm now cheating on my girlfriend. I'm at a crossroads now: Do I stick with my current girlfriend and try to work things out, or do I take the bait and go for a relationship with the girl of my dreams, who I could have an amazing relationship with? I don't want to hurt my girlfriend (or her family, with whom I've become very close) but am constantly drawn to this other girl, and think that that might be my best choice.

[DeviousOne]

So, weird things are happening. Quick background information:

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and a half. We've been happy the entirety of the time, and despite having the occasional argument, I really thought that her and I would be together for a very, very long time. As time has passed, things have become less and less certain. Our fights happen more frequently, our encounters have become somewhat unexciting, and our text / phone conversations have gone dull. My initial thought was to try and talk with her and make things become better. I've done that, and yet many of the problems we were having are still present, or are simply being ignored outright. I continued to be optimistic, as our relationship has still been full of happy moments, and I know she truly cares about me.

But then, I started talking to another girl more frequently. A good friend of mine who I've always been attracted to, and was starting to show potential signs of interest. I took the bait and started chatting her up. Before I knew it I had her at my house and I was helping her with some Physics homework she didn't understand. There were various times throughout the evening that it was obvious we were both interested in each other, especially as I walked her out to her car, but we departed with a simple, harmless hug. Tonight, we both had to leave school somewhat late, so I decided to walk her out again, and we shared some kisses.

I am really into this girl. She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met. She's full of laughter and happiness and when I'm with her, I'm the same way. She's an amazing person to be around. But in the back of my head, I know that I've crossed a crucial line: I'm now cheating on my girlfriend. I'm at a crossroads now: Do I stick with my current girlfriend and try to work things out, or do I take the bait and go for a relationship with the girl of my dreams, who I could have an amazing relationship with? I don't want to hurt my girlfriend (or her family, with whom I've become very close) but am constantly drawn to this other girl, and think that that might be my best choice.

Reading this INSTANTLY this song came to mind...



However seems like you and your gf's relationship has run its course Ive been with my current gf for the same time about a year and a half but i dont feel the way you do but in the past i have been in relationships that got to that point and thinking back in retrospect i shouldve ended those relationship however i didnt and they ended horribly.

I will say in regards to the new chick keep in mind shes NEW shes fresh yes right now things seem better but how do you know this new relationship wont get to that same plateau your current relationship hit. In all reality i honestly believe (and i mean no offense or disrespect when i say this) you may be too young for what you think you want at this point of your life i mean cmon dude your not even 21 yet and its rare to find that "ONE" at that age shit i thought i had someone that was the one at that age but people grow up and change you have no idea what kinda person your going to be in 5 years i dont feel you've experienced enough to KNOW exactly what you want.

You've already cheated on your GF so my advice would be to end it im a huge believer in Karma and i know for all the fucked up shit i did in the past always came back to bite me in the ass. If she was the one and it was going to LAST then you wouldve of cheated on her to begin with lets just be real here. Secondly if you continue things with the new girl i wouldn't advise you to get into a relationship with her i would just keep it causal and see where it goes.

As a Man now looking at it now what i thought i wanted and was trying to have when i was younger never wouldve worked and all the girls in the past were the wrong ones. My personal sincere advise is just have your fun and dont get anyone prego you have your whole life ahead of you and you should always focus on yourself cause if you think whats going on is the best time of your life wait till you hit your 20's.

[Sir_Scud]

Schaff, I think you already answered your own question. Ask yourself this, why would you want to stay in your current relationship, and why would you want to date this other girl?

The problem is, you already hurt your girlfriend, and you can't take it back. Even with what you said, there's not enough to go by, but it sounds like your current relationship is more in the comfortable companionate love stage. The chase, the lust, the passion, it's not there (or so it seems). You guys seem to be in a rut, which is pretty normal.

Given you age, you're almost at point where you will be losing people in your life. You going to college next year? What about your girlfriend? At my school, in my senior class, only 2 couples made it out of high school that are still together today. I had a decently sized class, but most people just drifted away from each other after college started.

Personally, when I was in high school I never thought of relationships as something that sticks around. That's my opinion, though. Not saying what you have/could have with the other girl couldn't stand the test of time.

These are one of those situations you gotta ask yourself and find your own answer. Regardless, I hope you tell your girlfriend what you did, and soon. Imagine how you would feel if the situation was reversed, and she was the one juggling two different guys?

[spyrde]

Bail out dude, don't be like me and stick around trying to kick a dead horse, you'll regret it later. On top of that you're already actively hanging out with the other girl so you should bail out before things get terribly worse. Right now you could end it with dignity, but if she finds you cheating you're the devil's resurrection in the eyes of the gf and her loved ones. I wouldn't go telling your gf about it at any point, you'll summon so much shit on you it's unbelievable. I would also cool it down a little with the other chick for a while.

[Wrath]

Bail out dude, don't be like me and stick around trying to kick a dead horse, you'll regret it later. On top of that you're already actively hanging out with the other girl so you should bail out before things get terribly worse. Right now you could end it with dignity, but if she finds you cheating you're the devil's resurrection in the eyes of the gf and her loved ones. I wouldn't go telling your gf about it at any point, you'll summon so much shit on you it's unbelievable. I would also cool it down a little with the other chick for a while.

He already is exactly that for the simple reason of breaking someone's heart like that, regardless of whether or not other people find out.

I may sound like a total prick but I sincerely hope he gets cheated on too just to know what it feels like. I feel sorry for his gf and would absolutely never do the same to mine!

[PeanutButterMunky]

Bail out dude, don't be like me and stick around trying to kick a dead horse, you'll regret it later. On top of that you're already actively hanging out with the other girl so you should bail out before things get terribly worse. Right now you could end it with dignity, but if she finds you cheating you're the devil's resurrection in the eyes of the gf and her loved ones. I wouldn't go telling your gf about it at any point, you'll summon so much shit on you it's unbelievable. I would also cool it down a little with the other chick for a while.

Anyone that has so little respect for another human being as to cheat on them, deserves the shit that follows. That's disgraceful behavior and incredibly immature. If you go around cheating, you're not ready for a relationships yet. It's that simple. Some growing up is in order.

I do not care how dull you feel a relationship is becoming. Don't cheat on that person. At the very least, have the balls and the manhood to break it off first and tell her it's just not working out. I can't share an ounce of sympathy for anyone willing to cheat on someone just because they're bored of the relationship.

[spyrde]

Anyone that has so little respect for another human being as to cheat on them, deserves the shit that follows. That's disgraceful behavior and incredibly immature. If you go around cheating, you're not ready for a relationships yet. It's that simple. Some growing up is in order.

I do not care how dull you feel a relationship is becoming. Don't cheat on that person. At the very least, have the balls and the manhood to break it off first and tell her it's just not working out. I can't share an ounce of sympathy for anyone willing to cheat on someone just because they're bored of the relationship.

Nowhere did I say one should cheat if a relationship is becoming dull, if you guys assumed this. All I meant was, that if a relationship is flattening out and months go by without anything happening then there is no point prolonging the suffering just so you don't make the other half sad. As selfish as I may sound you need to think about yourself aswell, especially someone as young as SchaffinOSX. Of course, like I said, cheating is not the answer, please don't assume I meant that. Instead, an adult conversation on why the relationship is not working should be had.

[PeanutButterMunky]

Nowhere did I say one should cheat if a relationship is becoming dull, if you guys assumed this. All I meant was, that if a relationship is flattening out and months go by without anything happening then there is no point prolonging the suffering just so you don't make the other half sad. As selfish as I may sound you need to think about yourself aswell, especially someone as young as SchaffinOSX. Of course, like I said, cheating is not the answer, please don't assume I meant that. Instead, an adult conversation on why the relationship is not working should be had.

Nah... none of that was pertaining to what you said. I agree with you that he needs to just end it.

[holly]

So what did you do Schaffin?? I agree with most of what people are saying: end it before anything else happens and keep it cool with the new girl. You may just like her because it's something that is new and exciting.

[podsaurus]

This semester and last semester I saw this girl a number of times. I could have, should have asked her out at least that's how I feel. But it was a while ago when we were in class together in 2010. I know she has a bf but it seems like when she sees me she looks like she wants to say something or wants me to say something to her. I have just ignored her and won't make eye contact. I knew at the time we had class together she was interested in me. As dumb as it sounds when I see her several times in a week I feel like, is someone 'up there' trying to give me a hint?

It's a small campus but there are people I had classes with in 2010 that I have never seen again and others I sometimes see. It happens often enough with her that I think something is up.

It just makes me think about the opportunity I passed up. Just felt like I needed to write this down.

[Dave-The-Rave]

I haven't given anything like this a thought in months now, I guess you don't really when you are busy with other stuff..this is my 5th and final year at university, work is stressful. Don't even have the time to think of the opposite sex atm unfortunately.

[DeviousOne]

This semester and last semester I saw this girl a number of times. I could have, should have asked her out at least that's how I feel. But it was a while ago when we were in class together in 2010. I know she has a bf but it seems like when she sees me she looks like she wants to say something or wants me to say something to her. I have just ignored her and won't make eye contact. I knew at the time we had class together she was interested in me. As dumb as it sounds when I see her several times in a week I feel like, is someone 'up there' trying to give me a hint?

It's a small campus but there are people I had classes with in 2010 that I have never seen again and others I sometimes see. It happens often enough with her that I think something is up.

It just makes me think about the opportunity I passed up. Just felt like I needed to write this down.

You don't need to ask her out bro.

When you have that in your mind "I should ask her out" You put more pressure on yourself you need to just keep it causal just say hi. Or wave see if she says it back. I've always took the casual approach no pressure just initiate some kind of contact and this way you can better gage interest from that female.

I know its hard not being shy but once you break out of that glass house the world become your oyster and initiating conversation comes easy...

[The Black Wolf]

I've probably asked this before, but does it look weird if a girl askes a guy out instead of having the guy make a move? I can't remember the answer if I've asked this before.

Is it possible for a girl to ask a guy out and the guy turn it down because the girl isn't liked by his friends? Like, the guy could flirt with you and everything.

Speaking of passing up opportunities, I remember a cute guy I met before leaving one semester. The only thing I hated about him was he smoked. Of course he had a girlfriend, meaning he's off limits.

[DeviousOne]

Nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out that's happened to me personally in my single days it wasn't the norm the times it did happen I was shocked because I never had any inclination of interest. My current gf was the one that asked me to be her BF. If the guy is into you then he won't give a shit about what his friends think and if he does he's not the guy for you obviously he's not man enough to make his own decision and seeks approval from others you don't want to be with that type of guy

[podsaurus]

I don't think I have to ask her out or anything, just makes me think. Bothers me more than anything and makes me kinda bummed :/

[DeviousOne]

I don't think I have to ask her out or anything, just makes me think. Bothers me more than anything and makes me kinda bummed :/

In reality the only think holding you back is you over thinking it and the possibility of a missed connection cause you haven't try to just casually talk to her bro.

I used to overthink shit in the past and I regretted it bro

[Fon]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

[Cybertox]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

If she has a husband and kids, its better to leave her alone, especially when she didnt tell you much when you told her about your feelings.

[podsaurus]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

I would stay away from that. Those are dangerous waters to be sailing through. If she didn't say anything she might have been shocked at hearing it and didn't know how to respond.

[DeviousOne]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

So what happened with this female was there any intimate interaction?

[Sir_Scud]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

I imagine there is a lot more information to this situation, but I'm sorry Fon. Best to let her be. You may be thinking that it's impossible and you'll never get over it, but you will.

You seriously need to devote a lot of time with your best of friends, big projects, or just improving yourself. Exercise is something I've gone towards in the past. It won't be easy and it won't go away quickly, it will take time.

[raremew]

I never thought that it would happen to me but I have fallen in love guys. I never planned to fall for her but it just happened. The big issue here is that she's already with someone and with two kids (I don't mind the kids but she's with another man so..). I was bold enough to tell her my feelings but she didn't say much. This would in turn, give me enough reason to forget about this but my thoughts are still filled with her. I can't help but continue to love her regardless of the many attempts to convince myself that it's all hopeless.

Well, what else can you do. you told her how you feel. plus if she's taken already what can you do?
( I really dont mess with relationships and all that, so i cant really give much advice lol)
Sometimes you gotta realize when there is nothing left to do..and just let go.