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  1. #51
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    My problem is that i always doubt people's feelings towards me...They can tell me they love me but i will never really believe them and keep questioning whether they actually do or not. And i get insanely jealous of anyone else they talk to.

    This is if i can even pluck up the courage to talk to a girl...I'm too shy for my own good, too self conscious too. Not easy to talk to an attractive girl when you don't exactly think you are good looking. I just get extremely nervous, and i muddle words up and such and end up sounding like an idiot. Oh, and i am crap at hugging according to my friend! So i usually just don't bother.

    Oh...And i have an annoying habbit of always unintentionally going for taken girls.


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    dayum Dom102. She's looking for a Baby daddy! RUN!. nah jk.

    Well if your planning on sticking with her, and having a responsibility then I say go for it. But then again idk. What ever tickles your pickle i guess.

    It's up to you man. what ever makes you feel better.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Advance View Post
    Adopting the whole 'plenty of fish in the sea' tactic is a disaster waiting to happen. Contrary to belief, there AREN'T plenty of fish in the sea. Infact, due to the huge increase of pollution in the sea and dramatic change of climate due to global warming, I think you'll find that numbers of fish are pretty low - if you get one and you like what you have, keep it, and work on it. Just try and make it work rather than giving up halfway through and ditching her.
    Already ditched her.

    I called her and asked her to meet me for coffee. We talked, went back to my place and had break up sex and it's over. I'm not messing around with any kids in the picture, I'm just a big kid myself.


    and actually, there are too many fish in the sea to know what to do with. Maybe it's just because I live in San Francisco, but pretty, single girls here are practically infinite.

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    Thanks for the help everybody.
    Im not going to school and there are no girls at work but i guess i can try joining some kind of activity. Hmmm i hate sports and other outside activities. This will take awhile lol.


    RIP Oculus Rift



  5. #55
    Dom102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    My problem is that i always doubt people's feelings towards me...They can tell me they love me but i will never really believe them and keep questioning whether they actually do or not. And i get insanely jealous of anyone else they talk to.
    Alright Carl. tough love coming in.

    This boils down to low self-esteem. plain and simple. Jealousy is a perfectly valid emotion, and it's healthy to have a little bit. Girls like it when you're a tiny bit jealous, like if a guy just blatantly hits on her right in front of you, and you POLITELY mark your territory, they love that, it shows you care.
    However, over the top jealousy will only push her away. It's good to be aware and not believe everything people tell you, but at some point you have to just trust others. Even if you are jealous when she talks to other guys, it's just talking. Keep it to a minimum, because if you're jealous and demanding you just come off as needy. and neediness = the #1 unattractive behavior to women.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    This is if i can even pluck up the courage to talk to a girl...I'm too shy for my own good, too self conscious too. Not easy to talk to an attractive girl when you don't exactly think you are good looking. I just get extremely nervous, and i muddle words up and such and end up sounding like an idiot. Oh, and i am crap at hugging according to my friend! So i usually just don't bother.
    Start exercising. You'll feel better about yourself and look better also. Get a new, stylish haircut. Take a female friend with you to go buy clothes. And if your complexion is a problem, stop playing games with over-the-counter BS and go to the dermatologist. I promise that after you do this, within 2 months you'll feel like a new man.
    Here's some links you.

    Exercise (incredible program)
    [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Built-Show-Body-Changing-Workouts-andLooking/dp/1583333193"]Amazon.com: Built for Show: Four Body-Changing Workouts for Building Muscle, Losing Fat, andLooking Good Enough to Hook Up: Nate Green: Books[/ame]

    Haircuts
    http://www.haircutsformen.org/

    Teeth Care
    http://www.whitestrips.com/whitestrips-home.jsp

    I don't know your clothes style so that you'll have to do on your own.


    I used to have this problem too. I'd mess up my words and talk too fast. The key is to start correcting it, NOW. Buy a tape recorder and listen to yourself, then practice talking in a slow, clear voice. when you go out, constantly remind yourself. It'll be gone within 2 weeks, seriously.

    A mans hug should be strong but gentle.
    http://www.wikihow.com/Hug

    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Oh...And i have an annoying habbit of always unintentionally going for taken girls.
    Knock this **** off. Seriously. It only is going to lead to drama and headaches.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom102 View Post
    Alright Carl. tough love coming in.

    This boils down to low self-esteem. plain and simple. Jealousy is a perfectly valid emotion, and it's healthy to have a little bit. Girls like it when you're a tiny bit jealous, like if a guy just blatantly hits on her right in front of you, and you POLITELY mark your territory, they love that, it shows you care.
    However, over the top jealousy will only push her away. It's good to be aware and not believe everything people tell you, but at some point you have to just trust others. Even if you are jealous when she talks to other guys, it's just talking. Keep it to a minimum, because if you're jealous and demanding you just come off as needy. and neediness = the #1 unattractive behavior to women.
    I have very low self esteem, mainly brought on by others, but that's a different topic for a different thread. Or no thread. Yes it is good to be a bit jealous, but i get really jealous. Like, if they talk to a guy all the time, even if they're just best friends or whatever, i would get really jealous. I know it is unattractive, it's just something cemented into the mind i guess.

    And to be honest, i never go out anywhere with friends, because i don't have many friends. And if i don't have many friends then i fail to see why any attractive girl would want to talk to me

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom102 View Post

    Start exercising. You'll feel better about yourself and look better also. Get a new, stylish haircut. Take a female friend with you to go buy clothes. And if your complexion is a problem, stop playing games with over-the-counter BS and go to the dermatologist. I promise that after you do this, within 2 months you'll feel like a new man.
    Here's some links you.

    Exercise (incredible program)
    Amazon.com: Built for Show: Four Body-Changing Workouts for Building Muscle, Losing Fat, andLooking Good Enough to Hook Up: Nate Green: Books

    Haircuts
    http://www.haircutsformen.org/

    Teeth Care
    http://www.whitestrips.com/whitestrips-home.jsp

    I don't know your clothes style so that you'll have to do on your own.

    Excercise isn't really my kind of thing, mainly because i don't have the attention span. I'd get bored after it after not long. And i am thin too, but i eat loads and don't gain much weight at all, so not a lot i can do about that.

    I don't think i've ever bought my own clothes And i don't have a "hair style" because i wouldn't bother to style it. I just let it be how it is...I don't have enough time as it is without having to do ******** with my hair too.

    Complexion is/was a problem. I went to the doctors and was on oxtetracycline, and then erythromysin for more than a year. Then went to dermotologist and was on Raccutane for another 6 months. Spots have completely gone now!...But i'm left with loads of scars which isn't exactly better than being covered in acne. In fact, it probably makes me feel worse than i did before.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom102 View Post
    I used to have this problem too. I'd mess up my words and talk too fast. The key is to start correcting it, NOW. Buy a tape recorder and listen to yourself, then practice talking in a slow, clear voice. when you go out, constantly remind yourself. It'll be gone within 2 weeks, seriously.
    Sounds like a not bad idea actually, might have to give that a try.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom102 View Post
    Knock this **** off. Seriously. It only is going to lead to drama and headaches.
    No ****?


    Follow me on twitter @Carl1412

  7. #57
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    Good advice in this thread right here.

    I don't think I have a problem talking to girls, it's just so hard to understand them, they are so complicated

  8. #58
    Dom102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    I have very low self esteem, mainly brought on by others, but that's a different topic for a different thread. Or no thread. Yes it is good to be a bit jealous, but i get really jealous. Like, if they talk to a guy all the time, even if they're just best friends or whatever, i would get really jealous. I know it is unattractive, it's just something cemented into the mind i guess.
    No. YOU are in control of how you feel about yourself.

    Then start getting rid of it. If you know it's unattractive then take steps to remove it from your personality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    And to be honest, i never go out anywhere with friends, because i don't have many friends. And if i don't have many friends then i fail to see why any attractive girl would want to talk to me
    You need start going out with the friends you have and make more friends. Period.

    Girls aren't going to fall into your lap while you sit at home isolated, you have to be proactive about this.


    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Excercise isn't really my kind of thing, mainly because i don't have the attention span. I'd get bored after it after not long. And i am thin too, but i eat loads and don't gain much weight at all, so not a lot i can do about that.
    Then make it your ****ing thing.

    Make excuses all you want, (which your entire post consists of) but until you start actively improving yourself it's never going to get better. I told you in the other post it's tough love time.

    Keep doing what you've been doing, get the same results you've getting. you feel me?


    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    I don't think i've ever bought my own clothes And i don't have a "hair style" because i wouldn't bother to style it. I just let it be how it is...I don't have enough time as it is without having to do ******** with my hair too.
    Wow. Who buys them? your mother?
    This week it's your mission to go buy some of your own clothes. Ask the people who work there what's good, and put together a few outfits.

    Well, start bothering. Having good hair is important. that website I gave you is fantastic for finding ideas. Find one you like, print it out, and take it to a STYLIST. NOT 'SUPERCUTS' a god damn STYLIST. Be ready to spend $40 on your haircut.


    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Spots have completely gone now!...But i'm left with loads of scars which isn't exactly better than being covered in acne. In fact, it probably makes me feel worse than i did before.
    A lot of spas offer something (cant remember the named) that is just a mild lotion you put on before bed and it REALLY speeds up the vanishing process of scars. Find a spa in your phone book and call them up. It's pretty inexpensive and a great product.



    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    No ****?
    Then stop doing it.

  9. #59
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    Eh, after reading this thread I decided starting doing something right now. Just because I have dated twice, it doesn't make this any easier because both those girls I met in one forum and much later in real life. Trying to get someone right away in real life is well, new to me First of all, before going to sleep I will do push ups. But I have funny problem with excercise. I never can hold a schedule which is made by me. But if someone else gives me one then I do it far more faihtfully. Its weird, I know.
    Why I want to excersise? Well I'm pretty slim and I don't want to look like some starving marvin. Of course I dont look that bad but I could look much better. Some meat around my hands etc. so maybe it would rise my self-esteem some or a lot.

    And i get insanely jealous of anyone else they talk to.
    Being jealous, or should I say paranoid, was the main reason why my second ex broke up with me. Break up with first one left some scars which affected my second relationship badly. I can't blame her, thank fully I have gone over it. Of course I still get jealous in some cases but I'm sure its totally normal.
    Man who chase after bus get exhausted, man who run in front of bus get tired
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  10. #60
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    Finally all the /b/ tars have gone.....

    Carl, go get that mop cut off, alot of girls dont go for that sorta style, makes you look messy...

    Go to boots or some where as such and get some Clean and Clear Cream, that will clear up and tone your face in one or two washes....

    And like dom said, go and try some cloths on man, don't let your mum do it for you.... If you have a job, go spend your money, not all on games, a few cloths you'll read up on the Internets can do wonders as to whats in, and what will get you notices.

  11. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    My problem is that i always doubt people's feelings towards me...They can tell me they love me but i will never really believe them and keep questioning whether they actually do or not. And i get insanely jealous of anyone else they talk to.

    This is if i can even pluck up the courage to talk to a girl...I'm too shy for my own good, too self conscious too. Not easy to talk to an attractive girl when you don't exactly think you are good looking. I just get extremely nervous, and i muddle words up and such and end up sounding like an idiot. Oh, and i am crap at hugging according to my friend! So i usually just don't bother.

    Oh...And i have an annoying habbit of always unintentionally going for taken girls.
    what would make you believe them when they say they love you?

    it's healthy to get a bit jealous of other people talking to the girl you like but maybe not jealous at every person they talk to or the friends they have if they happen to be guys. But i dunno how you could get around this.

    You should have lots of confidence aswell, what is there to not be confident about? Plus, you get on with loads of girls and you have started going out with them so you must be becoming more confident. You just have to get around the mental block where you think everything about you is negative because in reality, it isn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sektor View Post
    Good advice in this thread right here.

    I don't think I have a problem talking to girls, it's just so hard to understand them, they are so complicated
    I think the main thing you have to be aware of with a girl is often they mean the opposite to what they say. Like when you're having an argument with them and they end up saying 'it doesn't matter'. Most of the time it does lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mael Duin View Post
    Eh, after reading this thread I decided starting doing something right now. Just because I have dated twice, it doesn't make this any easier because both those girls I met in one forum and much later in real life. Trying to get someone right away in real life is well, new to me First of all, before going to sleep I will do push ups. But I have funny problem with excercise. I never can hold a schedule which is made by me. But if someone else gives me one then I do it far more faihtfully. Its weird, I know.
    Why I want to excersise? Well I'm pretty slim and I don't want to look like some starving marvin. Of course I dont look that bad but I could look much better. Some meat around my hands etc. so maybe it would rise my self-esteem some or a lot.


    Being jealous, or should I say paranoid, was the main reason why my second ex broke up with me. Break up with first one left some scars which affected my second relationship badly. I can't blame her, thank fully I have gone over it. Of course I still get jealous in some cases but I'm sure its totally normal.
    You should join a gym and get a personal trainer there. You're likely to meet girls there and someone is giving you a schedule so you are likely to stick to it and then you will gain more confidence. Exercise is always a good one to give you confidence.


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    My first PSU article!

  12. #62
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    You guys know what sucks? I'm in nursing school and I dunno, 80% of the people there are girls. I can talk to them great but then I can't make with the romance either seeing as they pretty much see me as one of them now >.> The Scrubs People O.o

    And this is when I've finally gotten rid of the "I suck." type of mentally and got a lot more loose and confident than I used to lol Can't wait to get out of school so I can meet new people. Too tired most of the semester and need to study anyways..

    Edit: Oh yeah, maybe this could be useful for someone:

    My greatest motivator for change: Fear.

    I'm not afraid of death, but I fear the idea of being alone for the rest of my life. It's fine now I'm with family but someday they'll go on and then what am I to do?
    I don't be one of those people who live, breath, and die alone. As comfortable as it is to hide inside myself and build walls around me to stop from getting hurt or embarrassed by other people, its much more awesome to burn those down and get the positives. Sure it's hard in the beginning, but no good thing in life is.

    But yeah.. fear is good. It's my fuel to change and my motivation to one day wake up and know I don't have to be afraid of being alone.

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom102 View Post
    Already ditched her.

    I called her and asked her to meet me for coffee. We talked, went back to my place and had break up sex and it's over. I'm not messing around with any kids in the picture, I'm just a big kid myself.
    Sounds to me like you're far too immature to even consider having a relationship with a mother. It was probably for the best that you ended it.

    Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.


  14. #64
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    here's some advice, if you're a man wait til you're at least in your 30's when you get married, your baby making formula should work til you die. when you're a woman, get married as young as possible because no amount of surgery will stop your eggs from dying out, and no matter how many wrinkles you dont have, you're still going to be old


    Let's be honest: You sleep with anything that walks on two legs. Sometimes, you're not even that discriminating

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    I have very low self esteem, mainly brought on by others, but that's a different topic for a different thread. Or no thread. Yes it is good to be a bit jealous, but i get really jealous. Like, if they talk to a guy all the time, even if they're just best friends or whatever, i would get really jealous. I know it is unattractive, it's just something cemented into the mind i guess.

    And to be honest, i never go out anywhere with friends, because i don't have many friends. And if i don't have many friends then i fail to see why any attractive girl would want to talk to me



    Excercise isn't really my kind of thing, mainly because i don't have the attention span. I'd get bored after it after not long. And i am thin too, but i eat loads and don't gain much weight at all, so not a lot i can do about that.

    I don't think i've ever bought my own clothes And i don't have a "hair style" because i wouldn't bother to style it. I just let it be how it is...I don't have enough time as it is without having to do ******** with my hair too.

    Complexion is/was a problem. I went to the doctors and was on oxtetracycline, and then erythromysin for more than a year. Then went to dermotologist and was on Raccutane for another 6 months. Spots have completely gone now!...But i'm left with loads of scars which isn't exactly better than being covered in acne. In fact, it probably makes me feel worse than i did before.



    Sounds like a not bad idea actually, might have to give that a try.



    No ****?
    We will get this man sorted out.... 2009 mission accepted!

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Complexion is/was a problem. I went to the doctors and was on oxytetracycline, and then erythromysin for more than a year. Then went to dermotologist and was on Raccutane for another 6 months. Spots have completely gone now!...But i'm left with loads of scars which isn't exactly better than being covered in acne. In fact, it probably makes me feel worse than i did before.
    Im on that stuff, its a wonder drug, although I do flare up with spots occasionally, they're mostly gone, thankfully I don't have scarring, bar the one large chicken pox scar in the middle of my forehead .

    I also had the same mid set in which I always think people that like me are just lying to me. It's a difficult mindset to break but Im sure I'll break it eventually.

    I had long hair until a few months ago, I was thinking of growing long again, but its more of a pain now, so I'll be getting a haircut shortly, ready for another bout of job interviews.



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    I've never really had a problem with acne/spots before, bar the few on my back. I have the odd spot crop up now and then on my face/neck/arms but that's nothing a bit of toothpaste won't sort out. I used to use that Oxyspot stuff (or whatever it's called) but that didn't seem to work for me and I read somewhere that ordinary toothpaste works just as well even the cheap home-brand stuff. I gave that a try and it seemed to work just as well if not better. Maybe Carl (or whoever suffers from acne and spots) could give it a try and see if it works?

    As for hair, don't even get me started. My hair is a complete and utter mess and always will be. I've never been able to properly style it even with gel or wax. It just falls flat on my head. I went through a phase where I had it 'emo' with my hair coming right over my face but that didn't go down too well with my customer service job - in the end I just let it do it's own thing. I want to do something with it now, though, but I still can't get it to do anything. I suppose it doesn't help that I have a 'problem' where I kind of twist and pull my hair out whenever I feel stressed/under pressure.

    Facial hair is a bit hit-and-miss with me. Recently, I've been letting it grow and it looks kinda good - but other people disagree and say I look like a tramp or hobo, and that I should shave it all off. I'm in two minds what to do about it as shaving leaves me looking far younger than I actually am which is good AND bad. I suppose I could try a goatee although I might look a bit odd with one. Maybe us male members could have a competition to see who has the best beard/moustache? Yeah, or not...

    Weightwise, I need to lose a few pounds. Given that I'm a diabetic, I shouldn't be too overweight but I'm heading in that direction and Christmas dinner certainly didn't help. I just can't be bothered to go out and exercise, s'all, maybe I should get the Wii Fit board back out?

    Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Playstation4life View Post
    Finally all the /b/ tars have gone.....

    Carl, go get that mop cut off, alot of girls dont go for that sorta style, makes you look messy...

    Go to boots or some where as such and get some Clean and Clear Cream, that will clear up and tone your face in one or two washes....

    And like dom said, go and try some cloths on man, don't let your mum do it for you.... If you have a job, go spend your money, not all on games, a few cloths you'll read up on the Internets can do wonders as to whats in, and what will get you notices.
    Clean and clear is crap. Besides, spots aren't a problem anymore. It's scars. It looks horrible. But yes, i agreed to get my hair cut at the end of the month. Getting it styled is not something i would do though...

    And i have no job. II get 30 a week EMA but that has to streth to everything i spend money on.

    Quote Originally Posted by holly100191 View Post
    what would make you believe them when they say they love you?

    You should have lots of confidence aswell, what is there to not be confident about? Plus, you get on with loads of girls and you have started going out with them so you must be becoming more confident. You just have to get around the mental block where you think everything about you is negative because in reality, it isn't.
    I don't know what would. I just always thing that they are lying. "Why would an attractive girl love me" is the kind of thing i say to myself. I know, i'm weird...lol

    What is there not to be confident about? I'm a boring person in most respects, and like i say i have little to no self esteem so i think pretty much nothing of myself. And yes i go out with friends... All of which i met online. I don't have the courage to make friends with girls in person. In fact i don't have the courage to make friends with anyone in person...If they talk to me first, i'm fine, i can chat for hours aslong as i know what to talk about. But as for me starting the conversation, you have more chance of finding cheese in a chocolate orange.

    Quote Originally Posted by SharkOutofWater View Post
    We will get this man sorted out.... 2009 mission accepted!
    Thanks...

    Quote Originally Posted by Xelis View Post
    Im on that stuff, its a wonder drug, although I do flare up with spots occasionally, they're mostly gone, thankfully I don't have scarring, bar the one large chicken pox scar in the middle of my forehead .

    I also had the same mid set in which I always think people that like me are just lying to me. It's a difficult mindset to break but Im sure I'll break it eventually.

    I had long hair until a few months ago, I was thinking of growing long again, but its more of a pain now, so I'll be getting a haircut shortly, ready for another bout of job interviews.
    Wonder drug, yes. Sort of got rid of my acne for a year, before it stopped working and they flared up worse than before. Then i got put on Erythromycin for another 4 months, then Raccutane for 6 months. Raccutane is horribler stuff. Horrible side effects, but it really does the job.

    And yeah it is a difficult mindset to break, don't really know how...lol


    Follow me on twitter @Carl1412

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    Somehow this is starting to sound like Train Man/Densha Otoko.
    Man who chase after bus get exhausted, man who run in front of bus get tired
    Man who masturbates in class has firm grip of subject at hand
    Woman who sink in man's arms soon have arms in man's sink

  20. #70
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    I heard there was a mission somewhere here.......

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  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by holly100191 View Post
    I think the main thing you have to be aware of with a girl is often they mean the opposite to what they say. Like when you're having an argument with them and they end up saying 'it doesn't matter'. Most of the time it does lol.

    Yeah I noticed that part lol

    It depends ofc. can't be too stereotypical here.
    I at the moment am Not bothered about getting a girl Tbh. I have my exams and I'm moving away in less than 5 months, I think for me to get attached to someone is the worst thing I could do XD

    The general advice in this thread is well good I must say.

    @ carl - About the whole 'go to the gym thing'. At the end of the day, if you want to go to the gym, do it, if you don't then don't, don't go to impress some girl or build up muscle or whatever. Any girl you need to build up for is clearly not worth it because if she goes for that she must be shallow, shallow girls FTL. Try and find a girl that takes you for who you are, she loves you not because of the fashion you convey, or the hairstyle you have (Ofc these things play a role because people judge on first impression etc) but when you get to know her a little bit make sure she likes you for the right reasons. This is very important. Being big, fit and having big muscles is not everything, Being yourself and enjoying who you are with is =]


    EDIT - About the "why would she like me" thing. Well you just can't think like that. Have a negative attitude about yourself and others will see you in a negative way. And visa versa.


  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sektor View Post
    @ carl - About the whole 'go to the gym thing'. At the end of the day, if you want to go to the gym, do it, if you don't then don't, don't go to impress some girl or build up muscle or whatever. Any girl you need to build up for is clearly not worth it because if she goes for that she must be shallow, shallow girls FTL. Try and find a girl that takes you for who you are, she loves you not because of the fashion you convey, or the hairstyle you have (Ofc these things play a role because people judge on first impression etc) but when you get to know her a little bit make sure she likes you for the right reasons. This is very important. Being big, fit and having big muscles is not everything, Being yourself and enjoying who you are with is =]

    EDIT - About the "why would she like me" thing. Well you just can't think like that. Have a negative attitude about yourself and others will see you in a negative way. And visa versa.

    Me + gym = disaster, i'm not even going to try it

    I have a negative attitude about myself because of others, which is why i think that. Why should she be any different to anyone else...yes i have issues


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  23. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Me + gym = disaster, i'm not even going to try it

    I have a negative attitude about myself because of others, which is why i think that. Why should she be any different to anyone else...yes i have issues

    Why would you have a negative view because of others?

    This I am curious about....

  24. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sektor View Post
    Yeah I noticed that part lol

    It depends ofc. can't be too stereotypical here.
    I at the moment am Not bothered about getting a girl Tbh. I have my exams and I'm moving away in less than 5 months, I think for me to get attached to someone is the worst thing I could do XD

    The general advice in this thread is well good I must say.

    @ carl - About the whole 'go to the gym thing'. At the end of the day, if you want to go to the gym, do it, if you don't then don't, don't go to impress some girl or build up muscle or whatever. Any girl you need to build up for is clearly not worth it because if she goes for that she must be shallow, shallow girls FTL. Try and find a girl that takes you for who you are, she loves you not because of the fashion you convey, or the hairstyle you have (Ofc these things play a role because people judge on first impression etc) but when you get to know her a little bit make sure she likes you for the right reasons. This is very important. Being big, fit and having big muscles is not everything, Being yourself and enjoying who you are with is =]


    EDIT - About the "why would she like me" thing. Well you just can't think like that. Have a negative attitude about yourself and others will see you in a negative way. And visa versa.

    It's not about being buff, a woman likes a man who takes care of himself.You don't have to go to the gym though, just find some sports activity.Working out releases endorphins and helps your self-esteem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    Me + gym = disaster, i'm not even going to try it

    I have a negative attitude about myself because of others, which is why i think that. Why should she be any different to anyone else...yes i have issues
    This sounds like depression, mental health is overlooked these days and it's a big problem.


    My name isn't a misspelled Nazi,god****.

  25. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carl View Post
    I have a negative attitude about myself because of others, which is why i think that. Why should she be any different to anyone else...yes i have issues
    That's a self-conscient issue. Maybe you were too much about what other people think of you. Growing up in NYC, I realizing that you can't make everyone happy. Alot of people will probably wish you harm and while that may be the harsh reality, you can't give them the honor of watching you fail in life. In School, I had alot of friends, but not as much as the popular kids. They were only popular because they loved the spotlight. They had a reputation to uphold which never really gave them any benefits. Living with the pressure to please everyone isn't going to further your career or pay your bills because at the end of the day, they don't put money in your pockets. My point is care less about people's negative opinions of you in the real world.

    If you ask any of my peers in real life, they'll tell you that I'm down to earth. I don't expect much in return, and I care for others almost too much. I'm definitely not outspoken, but I try to teach what I can to the younger kids and guide them through their young lives. Even if I have my own problems, I'm happy to relieve pressure from people who look up to me. I've had teachers openly hate me because I played Football and in NYC, apparently no student athlete can be more than a "Dumb Jock" so our standards are lower but listened to on deaf ears. I've been called alot of things I didn't like to hear but that doesn't mean I'm going to just accept the fate they expect me to have. You gotta love yourself man.

    And get in a Gym. Anyone can get stronger. That's a sorry excuse for not being willing to get stronger. Determination is key

    "The Secret Ingredient Is Phone"

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