The jokes game

[claud3]

Ok the rules are. Tell a joke and we judg if its fUnny or not.

rule 1) It has to be a clean joke. No sexual jokes no racist's jokes and no rude jokes

rule 2) The joke can be a long joke but not to long.

rule 3) Make the joke clear so we can understand it

Ok my joke

Whats the fastest PIE in the world

answer MARANNNNGGGG

[Astonlover]

I didn't laugh sorry
I dunno if this may offend you so I'll put spoiler tags round it. Its to do with Jade Goody.

What do You Call Jade Goody In a wedding dress?


A Shuttle-****

[MartinShoo]

^ Thats out of order.

Whats the king of the vegetables?


PumpKING!

[Astonlover]

That's why I warned you.......

[claud3]

ok. Thats move on with some funny jokes

[advancednewbie]

How do you get pikachu on the bus?

You Poke-em-on

[rblanshard]

A policeman sees a car driving past him and he notices something strange so he pulls the guy over.

As he approaches the car, he notices the backseat is full of penguins.

He says: "Hey buddy, how many penguins do you have back there?"

The guy replies: "20"

"20!?!?! You can't be driving around with 20 penguins in your car. You need to take them to the zoo."

So the guy says: "Ok...sure."

A week goes by, and the cop sees the same car with the penguins still in the backseat, so he pulls him over again.

"I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo."

The guy replies: "I did. And we had so much fun I decided to take them to see a movie."

[adzzz man]

^^^^ that wasnt that funny

a man walk into the bar, he says ouch ( i know, i know its old lol)

[LastManDancing]

^ Not funny.

rule 1) It has to be a clean joke. No sexual jokes no racist's jokes and no rude jokes

Aw, that's no fun.

Well, here it goes...

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps his fingers and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of his fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:

"Make 'em all ugly again."

[Astonlover]

^ That was a good one I LOL at that!
+rep

I have another good joke but its another offensive one so no can do.

[Xraein]

Here's a nice joke!

There was a blind girl who used to hate everyone except her Boyfriend........

She always used to say that I would marry you, if i could see!!

Suddenly one day some one donates her eyes.......and then when she sees her Boyfriend......she is astonished to see that her Boyfriend is also blind........

Her boyfriend then asks ...Darling!!!!WILL YOU MARRY ME NOW?

She thinks for a while and says, Sorry!!! But, I can't.........

Her Boyfriend goes away saying....



GOD BLESS YOU DEAR!!!! JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES!!

[claud3]

lol that was funny.

I have one

guy goes to the doctor and says doc everytime i rube the lower part of my back i fart. So the doc goes ok let me have a look

So the doc looks rubes his lower part of his back for 3 minutes leaves the room and comes back with a big stick

The guy goes what are you going to do with that doc. The doc repiles open the window becuase it stinks in here

[Xraein]

^Haha. WTF!

[LastManDancing]

A blind man wanders into an all - girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

"No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[adzzz man]

lol nice joke

[Xraein]

Lol. He's in trouble. Good Joke!

[rblanshard]

Here's one for you...

A guy goes to see his doctor.

The doctor walks in, reading the patient's chart and says: You need to stop masturbating.

The patient replies: Why?

The doctor says: I'm trying to examine you.

[adzzz man]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[joshuam]

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some f*ckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f*ckin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the f*ckin’ French toast."

[Xraein]

Hahah! OMG. They angered their mother, that was awesome, you people got nice jokes.

[V3nom]

if you hit me at 30 theres an 80% chance il live ....

if you hit me at 40 theres an 80% chance il die ....

stop trying to hit me!!

[joshuam]

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

[Xraein]

^Lololol. That's very funny and venom's joke is funny as well!

[joshuam]

I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy." I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, "Okay, you're ugly too!"

[Xraein]

Ahah, you did that or it was just a random joke? either way, you have funny jokies. FUN!