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  1. #1
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    Quite possibly the biggest decision I've made...

    A majority of you know the crap I'm going through at the moment in regards to getting over my ex, etc. so I won't bother launching into detail about that but I do require some advice or feedback about something I'm thinking of doing. I've lived where I am now all my life. It's had its ups and downs (mainly downs) but, well, its boring. There literally is nothing here for me, except my daughter obviously. I want to pack my things up and move far away from here. Where I am now is in the country (a small village just outside Birmingham) and I just wanna move away and forget pretty much everything here, bar my daughter. Possible places I've considered are Liverpool, London, Newcastle, Oxford, Cardiff or Lincoln.

    I don't really know what I'm asking for, really, maybe a little reassurance that this isn't a stupid plan or whatever. Maybe some could help me out and tell me what the prices are for accommodation, whats the chances of finding work, etc. I must stress that I have no intention of breaking contact with my daughter. Wherever I am, I will be checking upon her regularly and will travel down as often as possible to see her.

    So, thoughts?

  2. #2
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    You only live once, do what feels right!
    Other opinions are available.

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  4. #4
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    A change of scenery can be good.

    As Tut said, go for it if it feels right.

    My name isn't a misspelled Nazi,god****.

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    You'll come to regret everything you do, so you might as well enjoy yourself doing it.
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    The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is hard to verify their authenticity Abraham Lincoln
    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

  6. #6
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    If you're sure you want to then go for it. Don't have any regrets.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tutankhamun View Post
    You only live once, do what feels right!
    True.

    Like I said, where I am there literally is nothing. I have no job, no friends, no social life whatsoever. It's just depressing me. And the place is riddled with memories, some that I just want to completely forget and that won't happen unless I move. I've had a couple of close online friends tell me I could, if I wanted, move in with them until I find a place down their area but I dunno. My plan, at the moment, is to just get a job, get some money together then while I'm doing that look for a job wherever I'm going, then move the hell away from here.

  8. #8
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    If moving is the right thing then do it. You're life hasn't ended because of your relationship ending, it's just started a new chapter. You can play the 'what if' game forever and never make a change. Sometimes you have to take a risk in life even when you don't know for certain how it will turn out. You're not happy now so what do you have to lose?!

    Get up, pull yourself together and take a positive step tomorrow.

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    Come to Cardiff! [=

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparc View Post
    If moving is the right thing then do it. You're life hasn't ended because of your relationship ending, it's just started a new chapter. You can play the 'what if' game forever and never make a change. Sometimes you have to take a risk in life even when you don't know for certain how it will turn out. You're not happy now so what do you have to lose?!

    Get up, pull yourself together and take a positive step tomorrow.
    Very true, only you can change your situation.
    Other opinions are available.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparc View Post
    If moving is the right thing then do it. You're life hasn't ended because of your relationship ending, it's just started a new chapter. You can play the 'what if' game forever and never make a change. Sometimes you have to take a risk in life even when you don't know for certain how it will turn out. You're not happy now so what do you have to lose?!

    Get up, pull yourself together and take a positive step tomorrow.
    Exactly what I'm doing. Where I am at the moment, both mentally/emotionally and location wise, there is nothing here. I'm just dwelling on the past. Moving away from here will help me forget all those memories and help me start new ones.

  12. #12
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    go to the moon, dude...they have cheese
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  13. #13
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    Might not be a terrible option as long as you're not trading one set of problems (bad vibe, stagnating life) for a new set (financial issues [if the move will create additional burden], logistic issues with seeing your daughter, etc.).

    I've made all sorts of sudden life/school/professional changes that always worked out for the best, so at least from my experience, I say give it a shot. What's the worst case scenario? You move back.
    "Remember, you're young only once but you can be immature forever."

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by [DT] View Post
    Might not be a terrible option as long as you're not trading one set of problems (bad vibe, stagnating life) for a new set (financial issues [if the move will create additional burden], logistic issues with seeing your daughter, etc.).

    I've made all sorts of sudden life/school/professional changes that always worked out for the best, so at least from my experience, I say give it a shot. What's the worst case scenario? You move back.
    Nah, I'd be creating a whole new life for me. The only connection I'd have to this old one is through my daughter, who I will check up on as much as possible and see on every major occasion. Other than that, there will be no contact with her mother or anything/anyone from my old life. A clean slate if you will.

  15. #15
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    If you can make it work you should definitely do it. A new environment and start on life is probably the biggest refresher there is.


  16. #16
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    It sounds like a great idea. if there is nothing left for you, just do it, a new beginning should be what you need (ive read all of your life posts int he off-topic section).
    all the best man, sounds good

  17. #17
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    My two cents..

    Hi!
    I don't know you, needless to say you've no knowledge of my existence.

    Which makes me think either its none of my business to chime in, OR, maybe a few words of encouragement from somebody who left everything behind a long time ago might just be helpful to you. Who knows??

    I left England for many reasons when I was 18 (I'm 27 now), and moved to Germany. I've got a really good life here now, wouldn't want to change anything about it. Except that we don't get scotch eggs or marmite over here. I'd kill for a bloody Ploughmans lunch...

    If you've had the need to change anything in your life for more than 3 months, I say do it!

    Which town to choose?? Good question.
    You should base that decision on the results of job interviews (if any are necessary), and searching for an abode in that area. You need to find a comfortable base where you can start to build up new social contacts. That means living relatively close to work, so you're not stressed about pendelling.
    Save the petrol for visiting your daughter.

    Make sure you have a comfy guest room, in which your daughter can visit whenever she wants. How old is she? If she's atleast teenage then there's really nothing to worry about. After a few months to adjust, she'll probably be happy to have to travel away from home to visit you!

    Which teenage girl isn't gonna want to visit her dad who lives in London? Or Liverpool? Give her money for the train and 20 quid extra and she'll beg to come visit you. Bribes work wonders on young people.

    Finding a sports club/ other hobby club is also a good place to start rebuilding your life! If you're gonna start off new, may as well make your new life an allround healthier one!

    I wouldn't worry to much about your daughter.
    My dad moved to Australia when I was 17, haven't seen him since. But we have Skype, and an otherwise normal relationship.

    At the end of the day, you're only moving a few hours away at most! the UK isn't all that big! Over here we drive 90 miles to get a good pizza. That's 3/4 the distance between Birmingham and London!

    Advice from a stranger: No time like the present to go for it! Just plan first, then act.

    Tambob

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    is thinking there's something wrong with being different....I'd rather be completely f*"#ing mental.


  18. #18
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    Its not good to self loath and question it you will fall into depression eventually and that isn't good psychically and mentally. As the old saying goes "**** happens" so with that mind set focus on yourself at this point and do what YOU want. If you feel a change of pace will do good then go for it and don't let anything hold you back. Its like what Sparc said What do you have to lose.

  19. #19
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    Yeh man sounds good, go travel a bit... Then settle down in like London or somewhere... You'll be able too see your daughter even if you move
    "Everything that has ever happened has been leading up to this very moment"

    "What happened to bros before hoes?" "Well, this one isn't a hoe, so she's first."

  20. #20
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    It's good to know I have so much support for this. I really feel like getting away from here could be the start of something brilliant regardless of how stupid or crazy that sounds. I've been thinking about it a lot and I really want to see this through to the end, even if it's just to prove something to myself.

    As I said, moving away wouldn't stop me contacting or having a close relationship with my daughter - she's one year old, by the way, Tambob. Like you said, it is possible to maintain a relationship through Skype but I'd feel better if I had more of a face-to-face relationship which is why I will try to see her as much as possible.

    As for where I'm going, God knows. At the moment, my preferred options are Liverpool or London. They're both relatively close and have excellent social scenes and jobs going.

  21. #21
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    You can move to London but I wouldn't recommend it because it's expensive, heaving with crazy 4x4 women drivers, it stinks of waste and petrol, the $#@!ney chav "accent" lol and everywhere you look there's an indian, pakistani or polish person staring at you. On this note I am a very racist person when it comes to this, not because I hate all of them and class every single one the same but because they are SO ****ING RUDE. I hate it here... *sigh* but other than that it's okay lol.

    I say bloody well damn do it!!! I wish the BEST of luck Jaeger!!!!
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  22. #22
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    do it if u have money

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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    It's good to know I have so much support for this. I really feel like getting away from here could be the start of something brilliant regardless of how stupid or crazy that sounds. I've been thinking about it a lot and I really want to see this through to the end, even if it's just to prove something to myself.

    As I said, moving away wouldn't stop me contacting or having a close relationship with my daughter - she's one year old, by the way, Tambob. Like you said, it is possible to maintain a relationship through Skype but I'd feel better if I had more of a face-to-face relationship which is why I will try to see her as much as possible.

    As for where I'm going, God knows. At the moment, my preferred options are Liverpool or London. They're both relatively close and have excellent social scenes and jobs going.
    Other potentials - Reading (down the M40 and then M4 from you), Oxford (M40, A34), Bristol (M5), Maidenhead (good half-way house between normality and London).

    ​aka Sparc

    Entropy isn't what it used be

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparc View Post
    Other potentials - Reading (down the M40 and then M4 from you), Oxford (M40, A34), Bristol (M5), Maidenhead (good half-way house between normality and London).
    Funny you mention Oxford, I've had a number of people say it's really nice there. I mean, I've been there before (went to a gig at the Carling Academy) and from what I saw, it was nice. What are the property prices like down there, in terms of renting and owning? And what about job prospects? This is the stuff I need to be paying attention to, really, I need to survive once I get there after all, haha.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    Funny you mention Oxford, I've had a number of people say it's really nice there. I mean, I've been there before (went to a gig at the Carling Academy) and from what I saw, it was nice. What are the property prices like down there, in terms of renting and owning? And what about job prospects? This is the stuff I need to be paying attention to, really, I need to survive once I get there after all, haha.
    Swindon, Reading, Maidenhead, Slough are all along the M4 corridor which essentially is Silicon Valley in the UK. Stay away from Slough - absolute crap hole.

    Jobs wise I've no idea. It's not great anywhere at the moment but you stand more chance of getting something the further south you are than the north. Also depends on your trade and skills. Property prices down the south are expensive. No getting away from that. So you're right that you have to weigh up all your options.

    Oxford is nice. It's a college town and is absolutely brimming with fancy-free females It's a nice city and I loved it when I lived there in my younger days. Bristol is also reputedly very good!

    ​aka Sparc

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