Would you let your daughter be with an older man?

[The Black Wolf]

If you were a parent and you had a daughter, would you let her be with a man 5 years and older than her? Do you consider age as just a number in dating and relationships?

Me, I feel like 4 years is the limit. It's not like my grandparents' days, when men had to introduce themselves to the family to get to know you and etc. These older guys just treat younger girls like dirt.

[Ixion]

My aunt married a man about 20 years older than her about 7 or 8 years ago, and most of the family was very skeptical. But they've had two kids now and the man she married is a great guy, partly because he's very youthful, funny, and energetic.

However, I'm sure there will be problems down the road, as he probably won't be able to support the family as long as a normal father. We'll see....

[Bigdoggy]

5 years older is nothing when as an adult that is. 18 and 23, meh, 21 and 26, definitely better in my opinion. Now if my kid was 21 and went out with a 49 year old, I can't really do anything about that, I wouldn't like it but usually a relationship like that doesn't last anyway. With a daughter it's different. A boy going out with a 49 year old woman, yea I will be skeptical but at the same time I wouldn't expect it to work out. there is a reason that woman is 49 years old and interested in a 21 year old, chances are it wont work out and this wasn't her first young relationship. With a daughter, yea I wouldn't like it at all, in fact i would be getting into a bitchfest.

[dc89]

My friends friend is 52. He's going out with a 20 year old. I suspect it has nothing to do with his villa abroad, huge house, nice car etc.

[Tutankhamun]

If I ever have a daughter (or a son for that matter) I'd raise her to be independent enough not to need me to make decisions for her.

[Gregorious]

In my opinion it all comes down to the age range. 14 to 19, or 17 to 22 I find pretty wrong, but once everyone is over 18 or 19 meh.

[gillmanjr]

It depends on the ages. Adults are adults. Its ridiculous to suggest that there is anything wrong with a 25-30 year old woman being with a 40-45 year old man, or vice versa. If you are talking about a 15 year old girl with a 20 year old guy, than that is somewhat questionable. I was with a 40 year old woman when I was 23, good stuff She was hot btw.

[Yuuichi]

5 years is fine, even 10, but as other said 18 dating a 50 yr old no go. There is a limit cause usually it is young girl older guy and that equals daddy issues, while when it is young guy older girl that means a very immature older girls. That is the way it is in the cases I have seen.

[ex nihilo7]

5 years older is nothing when as an adult that is. 18 and 23, meh, 21 and 26, definitely better in my opinion. Now if my kid was 21 and went out with a 49 year old, I can't really do anything about that, I wouldn't like it but usually a relationship like that doesn't last anyway. With a daughter it's different. A boy going out with a 49 year old woman, yea I will be skeptical but at the same time I wouldn't expect it to work out. there is a reason that woman is 49 years old and interested in a 21 year old, chances are it wont work out and this wasn't her first young relationship. With a daughter, yea I wouldn't like it at all, in fact i would be getting into a bitchfest.

That would be incredibly tough to reconcile the fact a few years earlier the daughter was still in high school and the probability the 49 year old man is the same age as the father which leads me to...

5 years is fine, even 10, but as other said 18 dating a 50 yr old no go. There is a limit cause usually it is young girl older guy and that equals daddy issues, while when it is young guy older girl that means a very immature older girls. That is the way it is in the cases I have seen.

wondering if, like Yuuichi has said, there are daddy issues involved. The fact a 49 year old would want to date a 21 year old is a bit disturbing. I'm not saying that the guy viewing the 21 year old girl as attractive is necessarily disturbing, but wanting to pursue an actual relationship in that way is.

[Bigdoggy]

actually it's usually just sex when it's young guy older girl, believe it or not, it's pure lust. I'm not joking either that is why they never usually last. usually a woman that is in her late 40's and early 50's being with a younger guy both the guy and the woman have sexual needs that aren't fullfilled with the same age type as in two 50 year olds, etc etc.

younger girl with an older guy is usually the case of maturity of the guy but yet being fun at the same time, someone that holds the reigns, someone that can support her and is not on the same exact level as her. Basically, it's pure psychology. At the same time, it's also the case of lust towards the guy compared to being supportive. a 26 year old female with a 50 year old man, the man is obviously with her because she is young and sexy while the girl MIGHT be with him due to being handsome but at the same time he is a man, not an adult boy, it's a taste in preference really.

With me for example, I liked my wife because she knows how to fight, I am 31 and she is 33. very small woman she is, about 5ft4 weighing around 110 pounds, she is a little thing. LOL but she can fight, I've seen her at parties holding her own very well, not this sissy punching bullshit you see. She is a scrapper. I get turned off by woman that struggle to lift a folding chair, complete turn off and I want nothing to do with those woman, she has friends like that and I always roll my eye's.

[Acid Snake]

Once your an adult, you make your own decisions. You can't tell anyone what they can and can't do at that point when it comes to dating older people.

[Bigdoggy]

Once your an adult, you make your own decisions. You can't tell anyone what they can and can't do at that point when it comes to dating older people.

of course, but even though they are 21 doesn't mean they know it all and it's mainly for the case of pointing them in the right direction without going through a raging shit-storm they will will end up going through at some point within that relationship. but a parent can only do so much within that case, you still have to mentally support them if they refuse. like if a daughter refuses the parent by saying "he's 25 years older then you, it's not going to last, etc etc" no matter what you say, sometimes they will listen if you point them in the right direction and sometimes they wont. But if they like and are attracted to older men physically and mentally then there is nothing a parent can do but to support their decision mentally. Also, if it doesn't work out the worst thing a parent could do is say "I told you so". lol

i remember my psychology professor saying "you shouldn't really talk at the person that has a decision or a problem in terms of mediocre decisions" this includes jobs they want, relationships, if an adult is having second thoughts on wanting to have kids, etc etc." the best thing you could do in those cases is just listen to the person talking, usually after awhile they will sit back and think, then come up with their own decision that usually makes sense, but it takes awhile. The problem here is with certain things as an adult talking to parents is that everything is now now now now vs just listening.

If my daughter (if she was an full adult) was wanting to date or is dating a man that is 25 years older, I would be upset but I would TRY to just listen and point out certain things such as "what happens when he reaches 65 and has to use a walker to move around?" but then keep on listening to her reactions and talking.

a lot of the times the conclusion fixes itself while sometimes that is really what they want.

[Inzane2050]

I dated some girl when we were 18. A couple years later and she's dating an old, ugly 72-year-old virgin looking dude. Obese, shut-in, nerdy type @ +300lbs. I couldn't help but laugh. But if I was my daughter, the man would have already been castrated.

[-Kwesnoth-]

I'd say about a 5-10 year difference.

[Bigdoggy]

I dated some girl when we were 18. A couple years later and she's dating an old, ugly 72-year-old virgin looking dude. Obese, shut-in, nerdy type @ +300lbs. I couldn't help but laugh. But if I was my daughter, the man would have already been castrated.

so she is 20 years old and going with a 72 year old? I can understand late 40's early 50's because sometimes they still have that young look to them but still mature, but 72 years old? he must have money.

[DreDayDetox]

I would worry about the person that says age is just a number. lol.

[dc89]

If I ever have a daughter (or a son for that matter) I'd raise her to be independent enough not to need me to make decisions for her.

+ Rep.

[bash]

I dated some girl when we were 18. A couple years later and she's dating an old, ugly 72-year-old virgin looking dude. Obese, shut-in, nerdy type @ +300lbs. I couldn't help but laugh. But if I was my daughter, the man would have already been castrated.

You are probably just jealous and making him sound ugly...

I agree with Tutankhamun.

[The Black Wolf]

Once your an adult, you make your own decisions. You can't tell anyone what they can and can't do at that point when it comes to dating older people.

I'm not talking about adults. I am sorry I didn't make it crystal clear. I'm mostly referring to teenagers, 16 year old girls dating these men in their 20's.

[bash]

I'm not talking about adults. I am sorry I didn't make it crystal clear. I'm mostly referring to teenagers, 16 year old girls dating these men in their 20's.

I still think it'd their choice but it'd probably be illegal (depending on the country, the legal age here is 16)...

[Thorzilla]

It depends on the ages. Adults are adults. Its ridiculous to suggest that there is anything wrong with a 25-30 year old woman being with a 40-45 year old man, or vice versa. If you are talking about a 15 year old girl with a 20 year old guy, than that is somewhat questionable. I was with a 40 year old woman when I was 23, good stuff She was hot btw.

lol I hear you, just mine was 10 years younger.

EDIT: Younger than yours I mean Didn't want to sound like a pedobear.

[wesmore24]

My sister is 24 and she is dating a guy 6 years older than her. I met the boyfriend, and the way I look at is that the guy seems good for her; but if things get bad she is definitely old enough to make the right choices. She's grown enough to not always rely on my dad, and besides, it could be the other way around, it doesn't always have to be the older guy treating the younger girl wrong.

[Mael Duin]

Age is just a number. I dated a girl who is 25 years old yet looks like 15. I also dated 20 years old girl who looked like something like 27.
I would rather watch if 35+ guy isn't dressing and acting like 14 year old hiphop kid.
But then again who am I to choose my daughters fate.

[F34R]

Before my daughters are adults, I will let them date guys/girls their own age. When they become adults, it's their choice.

[[DT]]

Before my daughters are adults, I will let them date guys/girls their own age. When they become adults, it's their choice.

Same here. Hopefully we've instilled some good sense to make good choices when she's an adult.

From my perspective, 5 years is nothing, and I'd suspect that's pretty common (it's my case in fact). A good friend of mine is ~10 years different, super happy, long term situation.

I do think there's too many times that radical age differences are motivated by bad factors like money, etc.