Grand Theft Auto V viral site live

**Blacksite** · 08-02-2012

Epsilon Program renounces semen.

The Grand Theft Auto universe's shady religious cult the Epsilon Program has updated its official site and twitter account, suggesting things are moving along swimmingly for the MIA sequel after its lack of presence at yesterday's financial call.

The Epsilon Program is clearly a satire of Scientology with its preposterous mumbo-jumbo claiming that "Sperm does not exist" and "Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm."

Grand Theft Auto 5 meanwhile is set in a fictional version of Los Angeles, the birthplace of Scientology. Ostensibly this riff of L. Ron Hubbard's cult will feature prominently in the game as it did in GTA: San Andreas, before being relegated to a few vague references and easter eggs in GTA 4.

While the site doesn't make any official announcement about Rockstar's upcoming sequel, it does clear up common misconceptions by verifying that "everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair."

via Eurogamer.

Seems they started last week, actually.

**Fon** · 08-02-2012

What the hell did I just read?.

**DreDayDetox** · 08-02-2012

Oh, now I'm curious how this will play a part in GTA5. Cannot wait!

Originally Posted by FonFahbre

What the hell did I just read?.

LOL it's a parody of Scientology like the article states, and it's been in a few chatterbox episodes on San Andreas and even some commercials about it lol.

**Kuro** · 08-02-2012

Lmao..loved just cruising around just listening to random shit on the radio.

**Fon** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by DreDayDetox

LOL it's a parody of Scientology like the article states, and it's been in a few chatterbox episodes on San Andreas and even some commercials about it lol.

I was mainly referring to this.

The Epsilon Program is clearly a satire of Scientology with its preposterous mumbo-jumbo claiming that "Sperm does not exist" and "Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm."

While I respect people's religion(Well most), this just caught me off guard.

**DreDayDetox** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by FonFahbre

While I respect people's religion(Well most), this just caught me off guard.

Oh. That's the greatness of GTA, turns anything that's already funny or fucked up, and makes it even more so. I think that was part of the radio commercial for that cult in San Andreas. And this is just a taste of what GTA5 will have. There's gonna be a helluva lot more of that weird stuff in the game. It's expected with GTA games.

**Fon** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by DreDayDetox

Oh. That's the greatness of GTA, turns anything that's already funny or fucked up, and makes it even more so. I think that was part of the radio commercial for that cult in San Andreas. And this is just a taste of what GTA5 will have. There's gonna be a helluva lot more of that weird stuff in the game. It's expected with GTA games.

It's been so long since I played the game. I've definitely heard the name Epsilon before but never on the radio. I was too busy killing, destroying things on San Andreas. Lol. I've always loved their radio material.

By the way I found this.

http://www.epsilonprogram.com/

1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!

4. We all come from the same tree - FACT!

5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair - FACT!

6. Sperm does not exist - it is a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told - FACT!

7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day - FACT!

8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm - FACT!

9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them - FACT!

10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure - FACT!

11. If you believe this and turn you hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed - FACT!

12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

If you didn't know this, maybe you should read the Epsilon Tract.

**dc89** · 08-02-2012

Anything to do with GTAV is welcome news for me! I can't wait for it and neither can my girlfriend.

**Blacksite** · 08-02-2012

It was mentioned in a radio commercial. Lazlow even interviewed the founder.

I should clarify though - the Epsilon website has been around since San Andreas came out (I've read the stuff before), although they updated it with the link to their Twitter account under the Contact page. The line about Pay Pal is clever too, I think.

Also, this is a bit off-topic but I felt like sharing:

The music itself was rumored to be a track for the second trailer but from what I've heard it's actually a remix of Soviet Hunter from GTA IV.

Yeah, I know. I'm pretty excited. Lol.

**LfCpS3** · 08-02-2012

The parody that we see in GTA games is on the level or even surpasses that we see in tv shows, no other game can compete either and that is just part of what makes GTA so amazing.

**podsaurus** · 08-02-2012

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

What is this crap??

**DeviousOne** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by zzKurozz

Lmao..loved just cruising around just listening to random shit on the radio.

I used to love driving around waiting for Bump n grind to come on....LOL I love that song and is one of my Karaoke songs i always do LOL

**RaY_210** · 08-02-2012

Lol that's hilarious. I skipped out on San Andreas and IV, but I think it's time get back into this series

**DeviousOne** · 08-02-2012

This new GTa should be epic! i havent played gt4 in a while ready for a new game LOL

**Dave-The-Rave** · 08-02-2012

As expected Rockstar are doing the marketing themselves in their own time like usual. I don't know why people expected them to be at E3 or Gamescom.

**Blacksite** · 08-02-2012

I didn't really expect to see them at E3 this year. Gamescom, only because there was a snippet of footage for the game in the trailer for the event. Hopefully this means we'll get a new trailer soon though. We haven't had one since November of last year.

**DeviousOne** · 08-02-2012

Less is more with rockstar

**gumionday** · 08-02-2012

KIFFLOM!!!
Fax us at 1-555-FUN-CULT
Or send money to a PO Box in the Caman Islands.

Oh how I love the humor of the GTA seriers, glad to see the are bringing back this stuff.
Now all we need is petsovernight.com

**Royals** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by gumionday

KIFFLOM!!!
Fax us at 1-555-FUN-CULT
Or send money to a PO Box in the Caman Islands.

Oh how I love the humor of the GTA seriers, glad to see the are bringing back this stuff.
Now all we need is petsovernight.com

Yeah GTA4 seemed too serious most of the time.

**DeviousOne** · 08-02-2012

GT4 is where shit got real! lol

**daLa** · 08-02-2012

Great, hopefully they put up some aliens and UFO's in there lol.

**1261shaun** · 08-02-2012

grand theft auto 5 is going to be awesome, i hope they put bullet time in that would be cool.

**Fon** · 08-02-2012

Originally Posted by podsaurus

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What is this crap??

Something that intrigued me about San Andreas was that there were these myths that surrounded the game. I would go to Youtube and then go and played the game to find them myself, very cool stuff. I really hope that they throw in a variety of mystery in there for us to discover.