I need some help with bad neighbors

**MATRIX 2** · 08-31-2012

Originally Posted by -Kwesnoth-

Proper? Not really. Does it work? Yes.

You want to de-escalate the situation, throwing guns into the mix won't do that, it will do the opposite.

**Dave** · 08-31-2012

How does people talking about you in a different location cause headaches? Or how does it cause any point of concern in general? I'm not trying to be a dick, but how sensitive do you have to be to have something like this even remotely bother you? They're not yelling in your face and putting you down, they're not talking directly to you, they're verbally abusing you in a sarcastic fashion from afar...it's not illegal nor is it anything your landlord can handle at all. There is nothing in a lease that can prevent someone from not "liking" you and disrespecting you within their own property regardless of if the walls are thin or not.

If you want to solve your problem -- buy noise reduction insulation and use double sided tape or pins and place it completely on the wall that you can hear her through. This will shut the noise down to a permanent dull or to less than a whisper so that even a fan would drown in out.

In the end, there isn't anything you can do about this whatsoever.

Here are some examples:

http://www.amazon.com/SilverStone-21.../dp/B0040JHMH6
http://www.amazon.com/Acoustic-Foam-.../ref=pd_cp_e_1
http://www.amazon.com/Moving-Blanket.../ref=pd_cp_e_3 (Best bet for size/price-- Someone in the reviews section is even using it to solve one of your complaints, lmao)

**keefy** · 08-31-2012

I think the real problem is the wall being too thin. Are the wall juts plaster board partitions?

**The Black Wolf** · 08-31-2012

Originally Posted by Dave

How does people talking about you in a different location cause headaches? Or how does it cause any point of concern in general? I'm not trying to be a dick, but how sensitive do you have to be to have something like this even remotely bother you? They're not yelling in your face and putting you down, they're not talking directly to you, they're verbally abusing you in a sarcastic fashion from afar...it's not illegal nor is it anything your landlord can handle at all. There is nothing in a lease that can prevent someone from not "liking" you and disrespecting you within their own property regardless of if the walls are thin or not.

If you want to solve your problem -- buy noise reduction insulation and use double sided tape or pins and place it completely on the wall that you can hear her through. This will shut the noise down to a permanent dull or to less than a whisper so that even a fan would drown in out.

In the end, there isn't anything you can do about this whatsoever.

Here are some examples:

http://www.amazon.com/SilverStone-21.../dp/B0040JHMH6
http://www.amazon.com/Acoustic-Foam-.../ref=pd_cp_e_1
http://www.amazon.com/Moving-Blanket.../ref=pd_cp_e_3 (Best bet for size/price-- Someone in the reviews section is even using it to solve one of your complaints, lmao)

This is true, but my past experiences and wounds not healed contribute to this as well. Yes, people without certain mental disadvantages can take small or medium scale problems better or cope with them better and without aid.

I'm not saying this is an excuse. Life is what it is. If a lion breaks its leg, it dies unless it knows how to cope. That's just life. In my case, I have to continue to work to get to the point in which my quality of life is better and continue to get better.

I'm working on it, but for right now I have to figure out how to deal with this hurdle. I no longer ask WHY, I've gotten to the point in which I ask, "Okay, how do I deal with it?"

**kyle_91** · 08-31-2012

Don't let these people give you stupid responses like get a gun or deal with it. One, getting a gun is temporary fix till the neighbor finds someone stupid enough and drunk enough to "test" your gun usage....soooo bad idea. Two, just dealing with it, is also stupid. If they are being loud enough that you can hear it through the walls and also slandering your name, which in your description sounds intentional so that you can hear it, is a noise ordinance violation, which you can fight, it's just finding the right police officer who isn't a lazy ass and will follow through with your advice. I would personally handle it myself first, not coming off aggressively, and not saying anything about you hearing them talk about you. Read their emotions, see if they are being sarcastic, real, or down right rude and tell them you want to solve this without any second party( the police). Being hostile and aggressive with those that are nearest you (your neighbors in this case) is never a good idea, because this day and age, everyone feels America allows you to say what you want, whenever you want, and doesn't matter if what you say threatens, slanders, or provokes someone or a confrontation.

If they aren't willing to cooperate or at least be tolerant of any of your requests, then this is a situation to speak to your landlord first while at the same time letting him know you will and have before made the local police department aware of the situation. Most people like to avoid any police activity where their ass is on the line for providing evidence so he should handle it. If not, a visit to the local sheriff's office is best instead of calling. That way its easiest to have a personal conversation with either a detective because you have had so many complaints already or someone who should take care of it.

Emotions have to be put aside and disregard what is being said. In short, it sounds like the neighbor is instigating a confrontation and that is a no no. If subject A goes out in public and talks shit about subject B even if they are separated and the talk is not directed and a confrontation breaks out, subject A is still liable by law for part of the problem.

**Dave** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by The Black Wolf

This is true, but my past experiences and wounds not healed contribute to this as well. Yes, people without certain mental disadvantages can take small or medium scale problems better or cope with them better and without aid.

I'm not saying this is an excuse. Life is what it is. If a lion breaks its leg, it dies unless it knows how to cope. That's just life. In my case, I have to continue to work to get to the point in which my quality of life is better and continue to get better.

I'm working on it, but for right now I have to figure out how to deal with this hurdle. I no longer ask WHY, I've gotten to the point in which I ask, "Okay, how do I deal with it?"

Didn't have any prior knowledge to your past experiences, etc... However, I did provide you with a solution to correct the issue completely from inside your apartment.

**keefy** · 09-01-2012

Dave c'mon thats not a real solution and you know it.

**DreDayDetox** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by Dave

Didn't have any prior knowledge to your past experiences, etc... However, I did provide you with a solution to correct the issue completely from inside your apartment.

A costly solution at best. The best thing for her to do is talk to them. No violence necessary.

**Bigdoggy** · 09-01-2012

I have been through stuff like this. just ignore it and let others deal with it. one thing you obviously have never learned is never screw with your neighbors if your not up for the challenge. o.O

If you really want people to leave you alone and they are being all snobby, then you need to be the most toxic bitch anyone has ever met, then they will stop. What I mean is, become the biggest prick ever, but I know you wont do that, so just ignore it. there are two ways to stop this...

1.) be the biggest witch on the neighborhood (not recommended)

2.) ignore the problem, seems like now they are doing it to get under your nerve, just ignore it. (highly recommended)

3.) do not confront them, they are your neighbors. If you confront them then decide to call the police, they will know it was you. the fact that you confronted them in the first place face to face was not the right thing to do, now you just showed them who was the one calling the cops.

if people say "just confront them" don't listen to them, they don't know what they are talking about and it's obvious they haven't lived anywhere but with their parents or something. you ALWAYS want to avoid confrontation with your neighbors, ALWAYS. the biggest mistake is to start a bullshit war with your neighbors.

put it this way, there is always a few nutjobs on every single block, in every city. I have a few on my street but I stay out of their shit and they don't mess with my shit. There was one guy that screwed with me once, so I waited a year and then made a city complaint about his grass being to long and the city mowed his grass and charged him quite a bit. hehehe. I know he didn't know it was me because we have city inspectors coming around our neighbor quite a bit, infact one lives about a block away

what you need to do is find a nice place to live and make your best judgement, but remember, there is always a few nutjobs in every neighborhood. Some of those people are annoying, some are just weird and some are loud.

**The Black Wolf** · 09-01-2012

Yeah, I'll just see if I can get better at ignoring stuff.

kyle, the thing is my landlord can't do anything and neither can the police. My landlord can't do anything because they own or rent that house from someone else. The police can't do anything because 1) it's not enough for them to do anything or 2) I have no proof (mailbox smashing if they did it).

There are some situations in which it is best just to deal or cope with it. Now, if they were breaking out my windows or trying to bust down my door, that's something you can't deal with. That's dangerous and I'd leave, regardless of the fact I'm enrolled at the college. My safety is a priority, especially since I'm a woman.

If I can get to the point in which I can ignore it and not bother me, then it'll either stop or they'll up it to a level in which something can be done.

So I'll work on ignoring it, BUT one huge thing I struggle with is WHEN to call the authorities. What's the line and how do you know somoene has crossed the line and you need to call the police? I get confused about that.

**Dave** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by keefy

Dave c'mon thats not a real solution and you know it.

How is this not a real solution? Her problem is that she can hear them badmouthing her through the wall. If she spends the $30 on that blanket, she can eliminate the issue of hearing them badmouth her through the wall. That solves it entirely.

This is the real world. People are going to talk bad about you at some point in time whether you create the problem yourself or you've done nothing at all. You can't fix people like that and you can't expect it not to happen. My solution is ultimately the best solution.

She doesn't seem to have an issue with people 20 miles away talking negatively about her...why? Because she can't hear it.

Originally Posted by DreDayDetox

A costly solution at best. The best thing for her to do is talk to them. No violence necessary.

Costly? $30 is hardly costly. I'll front her the money if it's going to solve the thin wall issue.

**keefy** · 09-01-2012

Those things are deisigned to keep noise In the room and not let it escape, they work by absorbing the soundwaves before they hit solid material.

Also it will make the room look shit.

**weskurtz81** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by Dave

How is this not a real solution? Her problem is that she can hear them badmouthing her through the wall. If she spends the $30 on that blanket, she can eliminate the issue of hearing them badmouth her through the wall. That solves it entirely.

This is the real world. People are going to talk bad about you at some point in time whether you create the problem yourself or you've done nothing at all. You can't fix people like that and you can't expect it not to happen. My solution is ultimately the best solution.

She doesn't seem to have an issue with people 20 miles away talking negatively about her...why? Because she can't hear it.

Costly? $30 is hardly costly. I'll front her the money if it's going to solve the thin wall issue.

Or, how about this, I will split it with you and we can eat the cost! yeah, some times you just have to learn to not care about what people beneath you say. Really, you should feel sorry for that person because clearly they have serious personal problems of their own.

Originally Posted by keefy

Those things are deisigned to keeo noise In the room and not let it escape, they work by absorbing the soundwaves before they hit solid material,once it hits solid material it will resonate.

It's no different than having insulation inside of a wall, the noise already hit solid material once on the way through the wall, the insulation absorbs as much as it can.

**PeanutButterMunky** · 09-01-2012

You should just move...

**DreDayDetox** · 09-01-2012

Checked those links, not bad. Might get some myself. I have a neighbor who likes to party hard.

**Dave** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by keefy

Those things are deisigned to keep noise In the room and not let it escape, they work by absorbing the soundwaves before they hit solid material.

Also it will make the room look shit.

Lol. A blanket has two sides...so if it can keep sound in, it can keep sound out...

And the room will look like shit? Heaven forbid. The blanket can be painted as a canvas first and then hung...then it won't look bad at all. Hell, you can hang anything on the blanket to liven it up.

**Bigdoggy** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by The Black Wolf

Yeah, I'll just see if I can get better at ignoring stuff.

kyle, the thing is my landlord can't do anything and neither can the police. My landlord can't do anything because they own or rent that house from someone else. The police can't do anything because 1) it's not enough for them to do anything or 2) I have no proof (mailbox smashing if they did it).

There are some situations in which it is best just to deal or cope with it. Now, if they were breaking out my windows or trying to bust down my door, that's something you can't deal with. That's dangerous and I'd leave, regardless of the fact I'm enrolled at the college. My safety is a priority, especially since I'm a woman.

If I can get to the point in which I can ignore it and not bother me, then it'll either stop or they'll up it to a level in which something can be done.

So I'll work on ignoring it, BUT one huge thing I struggle with is WHEN to call the authorities. What's the line and how do you know somoene has crossed the line and you need to call the police? I get confused about that.

I can't help you there, I have no idea when to call them either but if it gets out of hand then you just have to call the police. This is exactly the reason I don't get involved in neighborhood scuffles in my neighborhood or really try hard not to. once you get involved, then you really screw yourself. honestly though, just use this as a life lesson when you live somewhere.

**The Black Wolf** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by PeanutButterMunky

You should just move...

There's a lot of stuff at stake here. I wish it were that simple.

**DeviousOne** · 09-01-2012

So wait intially I thought this was a house that was converted into apartments? So how does the landlord not own the whole property?

And it sounds like these people rent. Homeowners typically don't shit where they eat.

**The Black Wolf** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by Dave

Didn't have any prior knowledge to your past experiences, etc... However, I did provide you with a solution to correct the issue completely from inside your apartment.

I appreciate it, but I have serious doubts my landlord would allow it.

Yes, the walls are thin. This is a older house that was renovated and the walls are made of a material similar to chalk.

The easy solution would be just to leave, but that would have dire consequences. Really dire consequences. So if I move, I better be sure it was something I couldn't ignore or handle.

**The Black Wolf** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by DeviousOne

So wait intially I thought this was a house that was converted into apartments? So how does the landlord not own the whole property?

And it sounds like these people rent. Homeowners typically don't shit where they eat.

The landlord does own this property and those people in the white house have their property. The thing about it is, my landlord doesn't have a fence around this property.

**Dave** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by The Black Wolf

I appreciate it, but I have serious doubts my landlord would allow it.

Yes, the walls are thin. This is a older house that was renovated and the walls are made of a material similar to chalk.

The easy solution would be just to leave, but that would have dire consequences. Really dire consequences. So if I move, I better be sure it was something I couldn't ignore or handle.

The landlord can't stop you from pinning/taping/nailing something to the wall. When you move, you just fill the holes in with a bit of plaster and it fixes the tiny nail holes or whatever you used. It isn't difficult or expensive at all to do.

**The Black Wolf** · 09-01-2012

Originally Posted by Dave

The landlord can't stop you from pinning/taping/nailing something to the wall. When you move, you just fill the holes in with a bit of plaster and it fixes the tiny nail holes or whatever you used. It isn't difficult or expensive at all to do.

Okay, I'll definitely consider it. I was considering putting door draft stoppers on the doors to save money on my power bill any way. So I'll think about it and see about it.

**NARCsnake** · 09-01-2012

drill a hole in the wall and sitck ur pp in her EAR

**Morganator** · 09-01-2012

The Black Wolf. Have you ever considered filing a formal complaint with the police and formally filing harassment charges against the individuals? If you really want to do it right, file a formal complaint with the police and file a formal harassment charge for each and every person in that house.