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    'The Most Deranged Sorority Email You'll Ever Read'

    This email has been circulating the internet the last few days. A sorority executive board member, Rebecca Martinson, sent this to her entire sorority. A great read!

    If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough $#@!ing ride.

    For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been $#@!ING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so $#@!ing AWKWARD and so $#@!ing BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Rebecca, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to $#@!ing find you on campus to do it myself.

    I do not give a flying $#@!, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying $#@!, about how much you $#@!ing love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the $#@!ing year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I $#@!ing repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not $#@!ing possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid $#@!s: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE $#@!ING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE $#@!ING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE $#@!ING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little $#@!s that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people $#@!ing retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE $#@! WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a $#@! if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do $#@!ing NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

    "But Rebecca!", you say in a whiny little $#@! voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID $#@!ING ASS HATS, IT $#@!ING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW $#@!ING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN $#@!ING UP AT SOBER $#@!ING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being $#@!ing WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid $#@!s and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not $#@!ing funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. $#@!ing. Team. ARE YOU $#@!ING STUPID?!! I don't give a $#@! about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU $#@!ING BLIND? Or are you just so $#@!ing dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE $#@!ING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR $#@!ING MATCHUP. I will $#@!ing $#@! punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a $#@! if you SOR me, I WILL $#@!ING ASSAULT YOU.

    "Ohhh Rebecca, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird $#@! that does weird $#@! during the day, this following message is for you:

    DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

    I'm not $#@!ing kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not $#@!ing awkward than 80 that are $#@!ing $#@!s. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't $#@!ing show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn $#@! block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to $#@!ing God if I see anyone being a goddamn $#@! at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

    And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a $#@!. Go $#@! yourself.
    Pics of girl (Rebecca Martinson):




    Link
    Last edited by Ixion; 04-26-2013 at 22:23.

  2. Likes hoverbike, The Black Wolf, Kuro likes this post
  3. #2
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    Lmao "$#@! punt" I laughed to harded at that. She def needs a chill pill. Still a pretty hilarious read. Lol

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  4. #3
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    Sounds like that Sorority is full of typical young "like totally whatever" girls that have little clue about anything but clothes and themselves.

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    Miqo'te Bard
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    Hahah sounds like a sorority full of dumb drunk girls.
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    Lol, good read. Not at all what I was expecting based on the pics of the girl.


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    I have no $#@!ing idea what i just read... litteraly no idea, dafuq is Sigma nu and... post game and... what the $#@! is going on here? is this some holiday camp $#@!? im in the UK, is this some american/spain/north pole crap coz seriously. what it do? why are people being forced to do all this $#@!? I realy dont get it

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    I think guys have frat houses and girls have sorority houses and they join them when they go to college. Then they just act like idiots, have parties and $#@!. Well, that is the gist I get from the movies...so it's probably quite accurate .

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    Brothels that throw parties then? lol

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  10. #9
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    Wut....

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  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingstoph View Post
    I have no $#@!ing idea what i just read... litteraly no idea, dafuq is Sigma nu and... post game and... what the $#@! is going on here? is this some holiday camp $#@!? im in the UK, is this some american/spain/north pole crap coz seriously. what it do? why are people being forced to do all this $#@!? I realy dont get it
    Sororities and fraternities are basically clubs for college students and they usually have their own houses that they all live in (where they throw huge parties and what-not). Sororities are for girls and fraternities are for guys.

    A sorority is usually matched up with a fraternity, which is what this girl is talking about. The fraternity is telling her that her sorority is 'awkward' and 'boring'.

    'Post-gaming' is the opposite of 'pre-gaming', which is drinking with your good friends before heading out to a party/bar/event,etc. So 'post-gaming' means you go back somewhere (to your dorm or sorority/fraternity house) with your friends to continue drinking (and get laid).
    Last edited by Ixion; 04-23-2013 at 20:45.

  12. #11
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    Lol wow!
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    I don't understand American frats and sororities at all...why do they even exist?
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    I'd hit it..


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    I will teach her some manners! Muahahaha!

    LOL @ Lethal

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  19. #16
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    Please show this to feminists. Please.


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    That was a hilarious read!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave-The-Rave View Post
    I don't understand American frats and sororities at all...why do they even exist?
    Just another reason for people to feel superior to others.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaY_210 View Post
    Just another reason for people to feel others.
    Fixed!

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    Alison Haislip from G4 reciting the email....


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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave-The-Rave View Post
    I don't understand American frats and sororities at all...why do they even exist?
    There are many that are rich in tradition and help form new leaders....but your average one is just an excuse to drink till you pass out lol
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  27. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixion View Post
    Alison Haislip from G4 reciting the email....

    I can fap to this.


  28. #24
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