Blu's EPIC THREAD OF 'LOLs' and FAIL

[Rapture]

Not the best, but still impressive.

[keefy]

I hate shopping but this morning I got Banned from Sainsbury's

Didn't like shopping anyway, so this morning I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So,since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot......Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V.'s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works, is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.


----------------


I went to B&Q on Sunday with my son and grandson. When my grandson told us he needed a pee, so I told my son that I would take him....

I took him to the bathroom demos that are laid out and took him to one and lifted the seat on it and said hurry up........he went mental...... and thought I had taken an ill turn as I was laughing that much....

He wasnt happy at all....so we went off looking for the gents, but I kept telling him just to pee in the corners or behind the plaster boards......

He found the gents, but when he came back told his dad that I've not to take him for a pee anymore......lol

[Eltimas]

The third pony video is hilarious.

[bash]

I hate shopping but this morning I got Banned from Sainsbury's

Didn't like shopping anyway, so this morning I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So,since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot......Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V.'s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works, is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.


----------------


I went to B&Q on Sunday with my son and grandson. When my grandson told us he needed a pee, so I told my son that I would take him....

I took him to the bathroom demos that are laid out and took him to one and lifted the seat on it and said hurry up........he went mental...... and thought I had taken an ill turn as I was laughing that much....

He wasnt happy at all....so we went off looking for the gents, but I kept telling him just to pee in the corners or behind the plaster boards......

He found the gents, but when he came back told his dad that I've not to take him for a pee anymore......lol

Change text color please.

[bash]

22 months
1,357 hours
30 people
2 ladders
1 still camera
288,000 jelly beans

That is crazy....

(The quote is from another message board)

[podsaurus]

Those pony videos.....xD



Cartoon kick



I'll use my trusty frying pan...*puts pan on head*....as a DRYING pan!

[spyrde]

[itachi73378]

Spryde is definitely the 'most repped' member in my list

[darky89]

I think he's the most smelly member in my list.

[Edit] Just noticed this on the old 360 dash.



Yes Microsoft, I will be dealier than ever.

[MedicDog]

http://www.thejournal.ie/us-congress...82033-Nov2011/

[itachi73378]

http://www.thejournal.ie/us-congress...82033-Nov2011/

Heard this on the radio an hour ago

[podsaurus]

Spy always find funny stuff.

Jack The Ripper Spoiled The Unveiling Of Canada’s Newest Baseball Team, The London Rippers

The group behind London, Ontario's newest pro baseball team, the Rippers, claims not to have had one of the most infamous serial killers in mind when they chose the name and designed the logo seen here. London, Ontario's "Ripper" is a man hiding behind a cape, wearing a top hat, and wielding a baseball bat, and he will be "lurking" in Labatt Park come spring 2012, but he is not at all like London, England's Ripper. Like every other middle-aged Canadian male, he's just a frustrated hockey player.

According to David Martin, president and GM of the club, this Ripper is inspired by "a frustrated hockey player" named Diamond Jack "who found he could 'rip' the cover off baseballs." This isn't about a murderer who ripped open women's stomachs and sometimes removed their uteri, it's about a man who rips baseballs.
"Despite his talent," Martin told Slam Sports, "teams grew weary of the expense of replacing balls so Diamond Jack decided to form his own team in London, Ontario."
It's that simple! Honest:

He said any association with Jack the Ripper is all a misunderstanding.
"I could have made it another fluffy animal that every other teams seems to do," he said, adding he wanted to do something "edgy."
The team logo shows Jack wearing a black top hat and trench coat that covers most of his face, except for his eyes.
Martin says the connection to Jack the Ripper never came up when the logo was designed.

Representatives for the London Abused Women's Centre say they'll organize protests at Labatt Park if the name isn't changed, and a rival team has already found a way to benefit from the blunder: The London Majors plans to give away game tickets to benefit the Women's Centre. It seems likely that another fluffy animal will be lurking in Labatt Park come spring.

http://deadspin.com/5860555/jack-the...london-rippers

[*goo]

So true:

[Ghost-Rhayne]

This video was playing on PS3 Vidzone when I got back from making a coffee lol

Yikes we ought to spoiler tag the vids, page is loading like shit.

[Eltimas]

this video was playing on ps3 vidzone when i got back from making a coffee lol

omg wtf!!!!!!?

[keefy]

http://www.thejournal.ie/us-congress...82033-Nov2011/

OMG did they do this so fat people can say they had one of their 5 a day everytime they eat pizza or was it to make school meals sound more ehlthy without actually changing them or both.
What a bunch of muppets.

[Sufi]

This video was playing on PS3 Vidzone when I got back from making a coffee lol

Yikes we ought to spoiler tag the vids, page is loading like shit.

ok

[itachi73378]

omg wtf!!!!!!?

+1

[*goo]

So I got sucked in by the WTF comments and watched the video in Ghost Rayne's post. Then I selected one from the end of the footage and it was this:

Gross, eh?

[keefy]

So I got sucked in by the WTF comments and watched the video in Ghost Rayne's post. Then I selected one from the end of the footage and it was this:

Gross, eh?

Crater face to fuck later in life.

[podsaurus]

This video was playing on PS3 Vidzone when I got back from making a coffee lol

Yikes we ought to spoiler tag the vids, page is loading like shit.

What the HELL

So I got sucked in by the WTF comments and watched the video in Ghost Rayne's post. Then I selected one from the end of the footage and it was this:

Gross, eh?

Yummy!

[keefy]

Shot Twice once

Classic Police squad comedy RIP Leslie Nielson.

What the HELL



Yummy!

That vid was posted in another thread and I posted this vid as a response because its very similar and also WTF.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLyLGrbKokI&t=14m7s

[bash]

Edit:



http://imgur.com/gallery/Wr7Un

[The Boy From School]

http://www.m0ar.org/4872

[darky89]