Date someone who already has a child?

Versus

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Mar 6, 2007
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#1
Guys I have a good question. How should I approach a situation where I may date someone who already has a child.

We're not older people, I'm 24 and she's about 20 (not sure of age yet). Now I need to say that she doesn't come off as a person who's a whore, she's very nice and kind and carries herself very well. It is a bummer that she has a kid tho, but I DO want to get to know her because she's too nice to pass up TBH. We're going to plan out a date sometime soon to get to know each other better tho.

But see theres ANOTHER girl (who likes me and I totally don't like her) who wanted to go out with me but she's ALSO had two kids. But I don't like her physically, personality wise, and her having two kids just puts the nail the the coffin.

But this has me wondering lately tho, how should one approach these situations? I mean, a partner already having one kid is alot to think about. I don't want to just turn away cus she has a kid, but it does worry me. I would obviously prefer someone who doesn't have a child but I don't wanna pass up on the oppurtunity either to get to know someone I may really like.

Advice :confused:
 
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MATRIX 2

Forum Sage
Jul 29, 2005
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#2
[QUOTE="Versus, post: 5740862]Guys I have a good question. How should I approach a situation where I may date someone who already has a child.

We're not older people, I'm 24 and she's about 20 (not sure of age yet). Now I need to say that she doesn't come off as a person who's a whore, she's very nice and kind and carries herself very well. It is a bummer that she has a kid tho, but I DO want to get to know her because she's too nice to pass up TBH. We're going to plan out a date sometime soon to get to know each other better tho.

But see theres ANOTHER girl (who likes me and I totally don't like her) who wanted to go out with me but she's ALSO had two kids. But I don't like her physically, personality wise, and her having two kids just puts the nail the the coffin.

But this has me wondering lately tho, how should one approach these situations? I mean, a partner already having one kid is alot to think about. I don't want to just turn away cus she has a kid, but it does worry me. I would obviously prefer someone who doesn't have a child but I don't wanna pass up on the oppurtunity either to get to know someone I may really like.

Advice :confused:[/QUOTE]

20 is too young, if she was 25+ then it wouldn't be so bad. Keep her (#1) as a friend (nothing more), but don't let her situation burden you or become your problem.

Don't continue along any path other than an acquaintance with #2, the situation is even worse than number 1 and you have no interest in her either.

You have to wonder how she could be like she is now, but not before to prevent her pregnancy from happening.

With the availability of birth control pills, condoms, spermicide and plan b there is just no excuse for that sort of thing to occur.

Only if #1 stabilizer her life in a few years (when she is around your age) and seems to have her life in control should you even consider anything more than a friendship between you and her.
 

mooninites

Dedicated Member
Nov 15, 2011
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#3
Nothing is wrong with dating a woman with children. Does she know who the baby daddy is? Has she been on the Maury show? But seriously make sure you know what your getting yourself into first. You have to think of her children and be kind to them too. You not only have to be with her but her children. As long as she doesn't come across has a hoe then that's good. Make sure she's not tho cuz that's just trouble. Everyone makes mistakes and they do their best to deal with it. Judge her by her character not by her past. How many and how old are the kid(s)?
 

Versus

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Mar 6, 2007
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#4
First off, how is 20 too young? It certainly is not. Did you mean that she is too young to have a stable living and financial environment? She has a job, we work in the same store.

I certainly DO NOT want her to burden ME in anyway. That's the main thing I want to avoid.

Yea I do wonder how she got how she is, we all would, but I don't know if that makes her a bad person. And you know "stuff happens". I can't say I'm perfect either.

I'm totally not going to NOT hang out with her tho. I do want to take time to hang out and get some context on who she is. Now she may be a total whack job (I met alot of those) and if she is, I'll drop her like a hot potato, but I withhold my judgement until I see who she really is....

EDIT:

She only has one daughter, and she is 1 years old. XD Her child's name is Zaniyah.
 

spyrde

Master Guru
Feb 18, 2009
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#5
Just go for it mate, if she's mature enough to take care of a baby and hold a good financial situation then I bet she can't be too bad of a woman. I'd not go in it head first though, take a few precautions and move in slowly.
 

Versus

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Mar 6, 2007
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#7
[QUOTE="spyrde, post: 5740910]Just go for it mate, if she's mature enough to take care of a baby and hold a good financial situation then I bet she can't be too bad of a woman. I'd not go in it head first though, take a few precautions and move in slowly.[/QUOTE]

This is my line of thinking.
 

[DT]

Forum Guru
May 1, 2008
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#8
With all the women out there, and knowing that a child introduces some complexities (you going to date? deal with babysitters? are you going to keep her and be responsible? marry? adopt? deal with bio-Dad?) , I don't get why someone that's 24 would even hassle with it. It doesn't matter how or why she has a child (and the child's name, er, that's irrelevant ...), just that she does and the - see previous - potential downsides.

You're 24, you should be out having a good time, not worrying about dealing with a girl and her one year old daughter. Find some single gals and enjoy.

Also FYI, the fact that you're interested makes you very interesting to her since most guys 180 from a women with kids.

Just my $0.02
 

MATRIX 2

Forum Sage
Jul 29, 2005
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#9
[QUOTE="Versus, post: 5740906]First off, how is 20 too young? It certainly is not. Did you mean that she is too young to have a stable living and financial environment? She has a job, we work in the same store.

I certainly DO NOT want her to burden ME in anyway. That's the main thing I want to avoid.

Yea I do wonder how she got how she is, we all would, but I don't know if that makes her a bad person. And you know "stuff happens". I can't say I'm perfect either.

I'm totally not going to NOT hang out with her tho. I do want to take time to hang out and get some context on who she is. Now she may be a total whack job (I met alot of those) and if she is, I'll drop her like a hot potato, but I withhold my judgement until I see who she really is....

EDIT:

She only has one daughter, and she is 1 years old. XD Her child's name is Zaniyah.[/QUOTE]

Too young to have a kid.
 

Wrath

Master Guru
Oct 18, 2006
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#14
[QUOTE="Ghost-Rhayne, post: 5740929]I laways thought you were a chick lol :)[/QUOTE]

I agree, that avatar is just way too girlie.
 
Mar 9, 2007
3,482
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Blighttown
#15
Personally i wouldn't start anything with her because i just wouldn't want to take care of a child that is not my own flesh and blood.
If you don't want to let an opportunity to get laid slide i'd say date her and have some fun then dump her asap but since she works in the same store as you i wouldn't recommend that either (i'm not even taking into account that it's not a nice move in the first place).

All in all i'd say forget it.

P.S. I started thinking that you're a girl when you dissed the Duke but no hard feelings right? :p
 

Versus

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Mar 6, 2007
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#16
lololololololololol. Man I never knew I confused so many people XD. Nah I got this avatar cus I like the design of the character is all, I know it's a little akward lol. May change it eventually.............. BTW who is "the duke" lol

Anyway!

Ima just see how this "date" goes.... hehe
 

Ghost

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 12, 2009
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#17
[QUOTE="Versus, post: 5740979]lololololololololol. Man I never knew I confused so many people XD. Nah I got this avatar cus I like the design of the character is all, I know it's a little akward lol. May change it eventually.............. BTW who is "the duke" lol

Anyway!

Ima just see how this "date" goes.... hehe[/QUOTE]

Haha Sorry. it was also when the Duke Nukem naked women minigame website thing came out, and i remember you going off about it, and assumed from your response that you were female. Oh well all clear now!

Also, steer clear of any girl with a kid. There are MANY more who dont have the extra baggage. I wouldnt wanna be dealing with the dad and shit like that.
 

claud3

Power Member
Feb 11, 2009
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#22
[QUOTE="Versus, post: 5740862]Guys I have a good question. How should I approach a situation where I may date someone who already has a child.

We're not older people, I'm 24 and she's about 20 (not sure of age yet). Now I need to say that she doesn't come off as a person who's a whore, she's very nice and kind and carries herself very well. It is a bummer that she has a kid tho, but I DO want to get to know her because she's too nice to pass up TBH. We're going to plan out a date sometime soon to get to know each other better tho.

But see theres ANOTHER girl (who likes me and I totally don't like her) who wanted to go out with me but she's ALSO had two kids. But I don't like her physically, personality wise, and her having two kids just puts the nail the the coffin.

But this has me wondering lately tho, how should one approach these situations? I mean, a partner already having one kid is alot to think about. I don't want to just turn away cus she has a kid, but it does worry me. I would obviously prefer someone who doesn't have a child but I don't wanna pass up on the oppurtunity either to get to know someone I may really like.

Advice :confused:[/QUOTE]

so, if you like her and see likes you and she trust you around the child. Then there is no problem.

I would never change my feelings towards a woman if she had a child. I think its wrong to thing other wise's
 

PS4freak

Counting Mod
Staff member
May 15, 2006
17,374
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Louisiana
#23
It all boils down imo opinion how you feel about kids. Some people don't have much problem dating someone with kids because having kids around isn't that big of a deal. Know that kids means less privacy so intimate settings with just you and her will be more of a rare occasion as it would as it would someone with kids. Also you want to look at how she raises her kid or kids in this situation. If she just lets them run rampant I would definitely stay away. Another factor is baby daddy drama if he is still around. Most guys are going to be a d-bag to someone who has moved in on their territory and around their kid. Although most of the time single mothers at that age usually the guy doesn't have anything to do with her or the kids. For me personally a girl with kids isn't really that big of a deal for me because I don't mind kids.

My friend on the other hand dated a girl and he didn't want anything to do with her kids and it ultimately was the cause of them splitting up. So just know that if you are to start a relationship with this girl you know what comes along with it. My friend on the other hand was a jackass and just thought that he could ignore them. That didn't last long. You just need to weigh the pros and cons and think about if you could see yourself in that situation without a problem. Not to mention that if you date a single mother you should expect to get asked to do some "daddy" things from time to time. Just something to think about. But if you really like the girl and don't mind the baggage that comes with her I say go for it. Hope this helps.
 

R3D D3V!L

PSU Editorial Assistant
Mar 12, 2007
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#24
I say go for it. I think you'll regret it you don't, if you like her and she likes you then why should her having a kid be a problem? If anything, it shows that she's probably more mature.
 
Dec 23, 2010
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#26
[QUOTE="R3D D3V!L, post: 5741235]I say go for it. I think you'll regret it you don't, if you like her and she likes you then why should her having a kid be a problem? If anything, it shows that she's probably more mature.[/QUOTE]

If nothing else it shows that she puts out. ;)


Personally I think the whole kid subject is a bit touchy no matter what the age. It brings up issues like having to interact with the father of the child, the child developing an emotional attachment to you when you aren't that serious about the relationship, and of course the many, many times where she's going to put you on hold to take care of her kid. You'll always be second in line, and you'll always have to be careful about how your relationship with her effects her kid.

And then what happens if the kid doesn't like you? You're not daddy, you're a stranger after all.


Even in my 40s it's a subject I wouldn't want to deal with.