Ways of extracting some fun out of Haze

Jan 16, 2008
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#1
1. Play online.

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2. Every time you hear "Remember your promise to Merino!" hit yourself in the face

3. Every time you hear "Today, Mantel falls!" eat one of your toes

4. Every time you stand next to an enemy for five seconds without him noticing, insert a whole playstation controller into a bodily orifice of your choice (extra points if it's a dualshock)

5. Every time you have to pull a lever, put your hand into aforementioned bodily orifice and play on the controller in there without removing it from your body

I just tested this myself, and I can say with much assurance that it's more fun than playing the game. However, I don't have any controllers, toes or slapping energy left and I only managed to get a minute's play out of it.

(I thought this approach was slightly more original than a review)
 

DeanoIV

Forum Elder
Jul 24, 2007
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#2
I'm playing now. I was having fun until you go underground with the fire torch weapon and I felt like I was playing a shooter from 1995. Every time I try to connect online it doesn't work either :rolleyes:

The graphics are very Turok for some reason. I just don't know what it is about this game but there's something not quite right, it's made with 14 year old males from 10 years ago in mind. I'm currently at the swamp and the graphics are ugly, I can't see a thing either but I'm gonna keep going.

ps. i like my toes i'm not eating them
 
Apr 3, 2007
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#3
"Original"? Perhaps. Though I see this as a collection of Freudian slips on your behalf. Haha. I haven't gotten Haze yet, and I still plan to, despite what many reviewers have said. The trend I've noticed is that Nectar is a cool gameplay element, and it's tragic that the game abandons it after about an hour (when you switch to the rebels), and go with the trite FPS elements.

Online should be fun, though... that is... if people weren't turned off by bad reviews and the servers end up being all but completely barren.
 
Jan 16, 2008
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#4
Haha you know what a Freudian slip is! Congratulations!

Don't buy this game. Online is good, but the single player is frankly painful.
 
Nov 19, 2007
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#5
deanosrs: A few days ago you told me Haze had 4-player splitscreen deathmatch with bots, this is WRONG. You can only do 2 player split screen, 2 player!! I cannot friggin believe it, this is what i bought the game for, c'mon free radical, you did it on the ancient N64 & your telling me you can't do it on the PS3!!!! COD4 did it, did they not learn anything.
 

SikTh

Elite Member
Jul 11, 2007
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#6
[QUOTE="micromagic, post: 0]deanosrs: A few days ago you told me Haze had 4-player splitscreen deathmatch with bots, this is WRONG. You can only do 2 player split screen, 2 player!! I cannot friggin believe it, this is what i bought the game for, c'mon free radical, you did it on the ancient N64 & your telling me you can't do it on the PS3!!!! COD4 did it, did they not learn anything.[/quote]

Ouch! I remember that.

This could make a great drinking game.
 

Hedrush

Elite Guru
Mar 21, 2007
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#7
[QUOTE="micromagic, post: 0]deanosrs: A few days ago you told me Haze had 4-player splitscreen deathmatch with bots, this is WRONG. You can only do 2 player split screen, 2 player!! I cannot friggin believe it, this is what i bought the game for, c'mon free radical, you did it on the ancient N64 & your telling me you can't do it on the PS3!!!! COD4 did it, did they not learn anything.[/quote]

COD4 has 4 player split screen? Not on my copy it aint.
 
Nov 19, 2007
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#8
[QUOTE="HR1888, post: 0]COD4 has 4 player split screen? Not on my copy it aint.[/quote]

WRONG, I play 4-player split screen all the time on COD4, unless you've got a gimped copy somehow.
 
Jan 16, 2008
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#10
My source was Wikipedia. Which I have since realised is wrong, also by buying the game. I apologise to you on behalf of the idiot who edited the wikipedia article.

*edit: also an old interview with the devs claimed 4 player split screen. Must have cut it since then. Don't get mad at me for this piece of crap game!
 

Vip3r

Super Elite
Apr 22, 2007
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#11
Here's another:

Extract the disk out of the PS3 for GTA4. Because what else are you supposed to sit your beer on?

:)
 

Hedrush

Elite Guru
Mar 21, 2007
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#12
[QUOTE="micromagic, post: 0]WRONG, I play 4-player split screen all the time on COD4, unless you've got a gimped copy somehow.[/quote]

Maybe it because I only have 2 controllers, but I honestly didnt know it had 4 player split screen. You learn something new every day.
 
B

bobjenkins

Guest
#13
[QUOTE="Vip3r, post: 0]Here's another:

Extract the disk out of the PS3 for GTA4.

:)[/quote]

Haha, you think haze is that bad?
 
Nov 19, 2007
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#15
[QUOTE="deanosrs, post: 0]
*edit: also an old interview with the devs claimed 4 player split screen. Must have cut it since then. Don't get mad at me for this piece of crap game![/quote]

I aint mad at you, I asked that question on this forum so many times and nobody piped up to say it was missing from the retail version. Mostly mad at FR for releasing such a steaming pile of crap. I'll be driving near their offices tomorrow on my way down south. I might chuck a brick at their window on the way past.
 

hindahouse

Superior Member
Jul 30, 2006
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#17
hmmm i really dont think haze is that bad. Many people have been saying its crap when they haven't even played it(not on this thread), i've got it and i reckon its a good game. Its definately not the 4/10, but then its not the 9/10, i would ay it was about 8/10. As the story is brill, graphics alrite, online great, and gameplay great.
 
Jan 16, 2008
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#18
I can't bring myself to finish the single player. It's seriously that bad. If I get reminded of my promise to Merino once more I will get on a train to Nottingham and do some brick throwing myself.

Online is fantastic. Disapointed by lack of 4 player split screen though. 6/10 or so is about right imo.
 

Disturbed05

Dedicated Member
Aug 30, 2006
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#19
[QUOTE="micromagic, post: 0]I aint mad at you, I asked that question on this forum so many times and nobody piped up to say it was missing from the retail version. Mostly mad at FR for releasing such a steaming pile of crap. I'll be driving near their offices tomorrow on my way down south. I might chuck a brick at their window on the way past.[/quote]

lol that would be funny. I reckon their might not be any windows left for you to break thou.
 

A7

Supreme Veteran
Apr 19, 2006
17,891
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Melbourne, Australia
#20
The best way to extract some fun out of Haze imo is to return it and get your money back.

Although it's obvious a majority think this game is rubbish, to those of you liking it don't feel discouraged, I liked Kane & Lynch and Assasins Creed even though they are not very popular and I was able to accept the criticisms.
 

Nisse

Apprentice
Dec 8, 2007
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#21
[QUOTE="hindahouse, post: 0]hmmm i really dont think haze is that bad. Many people have been saying its crap when they haven't even played it(not on this thread), i've got it and i reckon its a good game. Its definately not the 4/10, but then its not the 9/10, i would ay it was about 8/10. As the story is brill, graphics alrite, online great, and gameplay great.[/quote]

I hate to say it, but 6/10 is actually a fair score for this game. Feels like I'm playing a beta version of the game... :/

The story started of kinda ok, but then after you have switched sides it goes downhill

And all the "Remember your promise to Merino!" and "Today is the day that Mantel falls!" is just so damn annoying, and I can't even kill my squad for some reason