(continued from previous page) ...the gore effects aren’t half bad, but the little polished details just aren’t present. Additionally, nothing holds up from a close distance (this is especially noticeable during the in-game cutscenes).

Switching senses, the audio in Conan is quite the mixed bag. The musical scores are epic, providing pounding orchestral scores that perfectly fit the barbaric feel of the title. On the opposite side of the spectrum, the dialogue is laughable. Not only would the writing feel stale and corny to a thirteen year old, but also, Conan repeats the same phrases over and over as he beheads his foes. By the 50th time you hear “you scratch like a child,” you’ll have the urge to chuck your controller right into your TV screen. Expect that point to be around 30 minutes into the game. Finally, during our adventures as the Barbarian, we experienced several audio glitches in which the sound (both dialogue and music) stuttered for minutes on end before magically vanishing upon entering a new area.

At points, such as when you cut an enemy in two via a deadly slow-motion counter-kill, Conan can feel supremely satisfying. However, this guilty pleasure is short-lived. Between lacking graphics, hilariously cheesy dialogue, and tediously repetitive gameplay, Conan just isn’t a high-quality game, amounting to a half-decent God of War clone.