Lollipop Chainsaw Review
- Posted June 19th, 2012 at 11:39 EDT by Adam Dolge
- 8 Comments
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Lollipop Chainsaw is too repetitive for its own good. While it's always fun to play a game that doesn't take itself too seriously, Lollipop doesn't offer much else besides silly sexuality and gory combat.
- Juliet and Nick make a great team
- Smooth, albeit boring combat
- Generally funny
- Repetitive action and enemies
- The overall sexual joke gets old
- Short and little replay value
Lollipop Chainsaw is one of the most obnoxious games I’ve ever played. When you imagine a ditzy-Britney Spears-cheerleader-inspired zombie hunter who dons as little clothing as possible, you may be mildly intrigued. Or maybe you wanted to check out Grasshopper Manufacture’s latest slapstick-infused gore fest. No matter how much I wanted to laugh at the pop-culture one-liners, or enjoy the excessive gore, I was constantly reminded that this is a super obnoxious game, full of obnoxious characters, obnoxious camera angles, obnoxiously repetitive levels, and obnoxious controls. Your enjoyment playing Lollipop Chainsaw is largely dictated on your tolerance of things commonly perceived by the general population as obnoxious—if you don’t mind soul-piercing voices, short but repetitive actions, and the absurd for the sake of absurdity than you may—may—like Lollipop Chainsaw.
If that sounds too mean, note that Grasshopper is probably doing this on purpose. There’s a level of sexism in the protagonist, the overtly sexual cheerleader zombie hunter Juliet Starling, which makes it hard to believe we would see a mainstream game like this in 2012 that wasn’t a spoof. I could probably go off about how dumb it is for a game to focus so much on boobs and upskirt camera angles, but that’s just the crotchety old man speaking, not the sort-of-older gamer speaking. What I found more annoying was how inundated I was with dumb pop culture references. After nearly every graceful kill Juliet said some one-liner from a dumb pop song, or a dumb TV show, or a dumb movie. I suppose some people get a kick out of this stuff: “Hey, I saw someone say ‘hit me baby one more time’ once, I totally get it!” Maybe the developers were trying to make the pop culture references so annoying that it made up for the mediocre gameplay.
If you’ve played one silly zombie game you’ve played them all—at least, that’s what Lollipop Chainsaw taught me. The gameplay is like a dolled-up version of God of War with Juliet gracefully swirling around, sawing away at hordes of baddies. There’s even the mandatory kill-x-number-of-zombies before moving on thing going here. Combat is generally smooth and enjoyable, and it’s a breeze to eliminate gangs of brain eaters with your youthful cheerleading abilities—pom-poms and all. You’ll kick zombies square in the face, give them a few one-twos before buzzing them straight in half, starting from the ground and working your way up. The various upgrades, by way of new moves and extra health, are a welcome addition, and something worth star collection for, but you can feel pretty content with your starting abilities.
You will fight through various environments and against an assortment of super dumb enemies—I mean, super dumb. At one level you’ll fight a bunch of jocks-turned-zombies. They’ll charge you like you’re a quarterback, while baseball players will take quick swings at your skull, hoping for a homer. You’ll even find goth kids, which in my personal belief make the best ‘squishy’ sound when you smash their skulls in with your magical fists of furry. If you are clever enough, you’ll even get cool bonuses for lopping off more than three zombies’ heads in a row. There are bosses here, all of which have a basic weakness that you are forced to exploit. For the most part, bosses aren’t terribly difficult, and they offer a small divergence for the otherwise repetitive nature of the hack-‘n-slash genre.
All is not lost. There are some really strong elements in this game, particularly Juliet’s character. Yes, the game likes to exploit her sexuality –even if it is to make a point about females in videogames—but Juliet is also strong-willed, warm, confident, and deeply caring for the head of her boyfriend, Nick. See, she saves his life early in the game and uses some magic to keep his head intact and alive. She attaches it to her waist—on the rear, of course—and this turns the game into a bit of a buddy adventure. The pair share dialogue and are both invested in each other’s survival. It’s one of those gore fest love stories that sees the lady ripping apart zombies to save her man; how inspiring. Nick is a strong character, too, so don’t feel like this is a dude-hating affair.
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- 1:00pm EDT - June 19th, 2012
Can't say didn't see that coming; it looked very lame from day one... I'm surprised other more promising projects get canned and this one actually got released.
- 2:14pm EDT - June 19th, 2012
I wouldn't spend tokens in an arcade to play this trash...
They missed an oppurtunity to have even a someone decent game. No local/online story multiplayer? No different characters?
TMNT on the gamecube back in like 2003 was better.
JackC | jack1982cp
- 3:55pm EDT - June 19th, 2012
I'm nearly done with this game and I have no idea what you're talking about with all the pop culture references. I'm sure there are a few, but so few it went almost completely unnoticed by me. And you make it sound like that's the biggest thing in the entire game. As far as obnoxious characters, Juliet's little sister is very annoying, and she probably has 3 minutes of dialogue in the entire game. Juliet herself is a fun, ditzy, and rather charming cheerleader and her body-less boyfriend Nick certianly isn't obnoxious at all. Your average Holywood movie starring Jim Carry is at least 10,000 times more obnoxious than anything you'll find here. And as far as the gameplay, once you spend some time using the various combos, the sparkle attack and Nick tickets, it adds a whole lot of variety and a sense of purpose to the combat. Oh well, this is why I almost never read reviews. I would have missed out on a really fun experience otherwise.
- 8:57pm EDT - June 19th, 2012
@3 Juliet does a cheerleader chant about gonorrhea and she's charming? You must have a very lax criteria for what passes as charming. The review pegged it right, that game is a wacky piece a crud. To downplay the wackiness, you compare it to an actor who did comedy movies? You're brilliant.
This game doesn't outright suck eggs but it's definitely not for me. It has no real appeal at this point of my gaming "career" (for lack of a better term). It is immature, dry in terms of humor, and of all offenses, the worst is probably the fact that the game doesnt even look that fun anyway, which would've been the only reason I'd be willing to overlook its other shortcomings.
Yeah I recommend you don't read reviews anymore. It's a waste of time seeing as you'd play anything anyway.
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Equinoqs | Equinoqs
- 10:26am EDT - June 29th, 2012
Go back to Space Invaders, Adam & the rest of you sophisticated gamers, "Lollipop Chansaw" is the most fun I've had this year!
- 7:38am EDT - July 3rd, 2012
I liked the game it was fun! I like short games because i don't have time to game as much as I did when i was younger so for me this was great. One thing i did not like was a lot of unnecessary language, but you take the good with the bad.
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