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PS3's top 6 lamest villains

on 19 November 2012

Since launching six years ago, Sony’s PlayStation 3 has seen more than its fair share of heroic types flying the flag for our beloved black behemoth. Invariably this means we’ve also seen our fair share of memorable villains, from the likes of Zoran Lazarverich, the Chimera, and Albert Wesker giving us a run for our money – not to mention testing our patience.

However, just like there have been some decidedly lacklustre heroes to have graced our screens, the PS3 has been plagued by some right stinkers when it comes to baddies. Whether they’re just not convincing as villains from a physical perspective or simply inept as challenging bosses, PSU.com decided to ‘honour’ these bumbling bad guys and shed the light of PS3’s lamest ever villains.

Join us now as we celebrate the worst villains to have graced PS3. Did your least favourite make the cut? If not, be sure to let us know in the comments section.

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Shao Khan (Mortal Kombat)

Mortal Kombat’s cocksure villain has always remained a bit of a slimy bugger, from his overpowered attacks to his irritating mid-match insults. NetherRealm’s eponymous MK reboot made no effort to subvert these character traits, with Khan remaining just as enormously dislikeable as his retro incarnations. With his impossible reflexes, meaty moves and super-human resilience, Shao Khan is an exercise in sheer frustration; not only that, but he can’t even make a decent bad guy, looking as ridiculous as he did back in the 1990s. Thanks to his overpowered nature, gamers are forced to employ cheap tactics to defeat him, making the fight decidedly repetitive and generally not much fun at all. Note to NetherRealm: muscle-bound baddies with booming voices rarely work as villains anymore.

Ricardo Irving (Resident Evil 5)

Resident Evil spawned one of the most iconic PlayStation villains of all time with the Albert Wesker; the stoic, traitorous S.T.A.R.S. Captain with the perpetual shades. Sadly, Ricardo Irving doesn’t quite measure up to Wesker’s legendary status. A B.O.W. trader by day, Irving is best remembered for his god awful Brooklyn accent and loud shirts – that, and a knack for screwing up his bosses plans multiple times over. Unlike the cold and calculated Excella Gionne, Irving simply cannot be taken seriously as a bad guy, and his attempts to intimidate Chris and Sheva border on laughable. Even when he finally mutates into a gigantic, Kraken-esque sea beast, Irving still fails to shake his inherent clown-like persona, and proves ridiculously easy to defeat thanks to a handy machine gun and rocket launcher placed conveniently on the ship you are forced to confront him on.

Admiral Orlock and Jorhan Stahl (Killzone 3)

Killzone is one of the PS3’s tent pole franchises, though sadly its villains are some of the most generic we’ve come across. The worst offenders come in the shape of the dismal duo, Orlock and Stahl. Individually Stahl is perhaps the most effective baddie in the game, though as a pair they fall flatter than a pancake after being run over by a steamroller. The duo are constantly at loggerheads with each other, bitching and whining most of the time instead of, you know, actually formulating a dastardly plan. Consequently, they come off as petulant children rather than feared villains. The overtly obtuse Orlock is one of the worst bad guys to grace Sony’s shiny black behemoth period, demonstrating such a general lack of competence that you wonder if the Helghan were better off without him in the first place.

Gabriel Roman (Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune)

British-born Gabriel Roman is everything a quintessentially upper-crust English baddie should be. In that, we mean he rarely gets his hands dirty, and can generally be summed up rather appropriately by the saying ‘all mouth, no trousers.’ As much as we love Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, the game reeks of stereotypes, with Roman being one of the worst offenders. In typical British villain fashion, Roman lets his flunkies do all the hard work for him, and generally avoids getting into a ruck where he can help it. Typical of a baddie ignorant of his own importance, Roman finds himself played like a fiddle by compatriot Atoq Navarro, who exposes himself as the game’s ‘real’ antagonist. Roman, sadly, hasn’t a clue what’s going out and witnesses first-hand the devastating effects of the lost treasure of El Dorado before being ruthlessly dispatched by a single shot to the head. There’s no mystique behind his persona; just a greedy old goat who bit off more than he could chew, rendering him instantly forgettable.

Human Reaper (Mass Effect 2)

Merciless killing machines, the Reapers are easily some of the most terrifying game villains to have graced current-generation platforms. Sadly, the Human Reaper lets the side down. As the final boss of ME2, this lumbering giant should be the ultimate Reaper; in reality, it’s a massive let down. Conceptually the Human Reaper sounds intriguing and on paper it has the ability to wow, but its application is just too cumbersome to function as the almighty villain it should be. Simply put, this monstrosity is far too easy to dispatch, and you’ll likely get more headaches from the assorted grunts that occasionally pop up to hinder Shepard and co.’s progress throughout the fight. Boasting conspicuous weak points and lumbering movements, the Human Reaper comes as something of a massive anti-climax for such a compelling and emotionally-charged tale. Thank god the Reapers returned to remind us why they should be feared in ME3.

Morgan Duvall (Haze)

Duvall didn’t exactly get off to the best start in life. After all, being the antagonist in one of the PS3’s notoriously bad exclusives isn’t exactly the springboard you need for the future, but it doesn’t help that he’s just a duff baddie to begin with. The problem? Duvall is just overwhelming dull in every conceivable manner. Sure, you could argue that a few of the villains from shooters such as Call of Duty aren’t exactly anything to write home about, but Duvall takes mediocrity to the next level. There’s nothing remotely compelling about his character, and he’s virtually indistinguishable from the countless other military grunts who for whatever reason seem to have taken the path of the Dark Side. Potty-mouthed and sporting a buzz-cut, Duvall achieves nothing other than emanating a distinct aura of mediocrity and clapped out clichés about his person.