Congratulations world, you win. I fail as a journalist. I cannot effectively describe nor offer any critical feedback of Noby Noby Boy. Instead, here's its creator, Keita Takahashi of Katamari fame, trying to do the impossible.
"Basically players can control and stretch Boy, the main character of the game," Takahashi begins. "As players stretch Boy, the lengths to which he grows are uploaded to a persistent character known as Girl, who grows at the same rate as the combined length of all the players in the world. Girl starts at Earth and expands around the solar system. When Girl reaches a new milestone in the solar system, new areas are unlocked as playable stages for everyone around the world."
What? Takahashi, even you can't explain it?
"How come it’s hard to explain, you ask?" he continues. "It’s because I wanted to make a game that cannot be expressed by words in the first place. By making an undefined and ambitious game, I want the player’s reaction to be something like, “I don’t know why, but it’s somehow interesting. I can’t stop playing.” In that way, I would feel I have succeeded at creating what I wanted, that is, creating something that’s not easily describable. Anyway, it’s been a fun experience working on Noby Noby Boy."
Although that experience has been enjoyable, he still isn't sure why he had it in the first place.
"One big question most people have asked is, 'Why did you want to make such a game?' Seriously, I don’t know. When I figure it out, I’ll share it... In the meantime, please take a moment to watch this video."
We've included the mind-melting video below. If you value your sanity, you will not watch this. Noby Noby Boy will be available on the PlayStation Store for $4.99 USD on February 19.