Star Wars games on PlayStation have had a chequered history. It seems that for every one that shines with the power of the light side of the force there is always another that embraces nothing but the dark side. Now with EA and Disney both announcing new Star Wars games, fans are hoping any new release will be more like the sadly lost Star Wars 1313 and not the Masters of Teras Kasi.
But how is any new Star Wars game going to make sure it’s well received?
Games live and die by the characters playable or otherwise that make up their world. For a new Star Wars game to succeed it needs to use only the best ones from its franchise, however, from the many heroes and villains that make up the Star Wars universe, which will appeal to gamers most?
I’m going to cast my eye over Star Wars’ many characters and decide on four who would bring out the best in any new related game. However, like the force, this investigation will need balance so I’m also going to list what I consider to be the worst four Star Wars characters who I hope never make it into any new game.
The first character any new Star Wars game will need is a great hero and here the designers need to remember an important lesson that I learnt when playing Star Wars in the school playground in 1977. This lesson is simply that Han Solo was always a more popular choice to play than Luke and I believe this lesson is still valid today.
Now it’s not that I don’t like Luke, I just think that compared to Han he will always come a poor second for the hero of any new Star Wars game – let’s do some quick character comparisons to try to explain why. Now, when you first meet Han he’s in a bar shooting his mouth and blaster off and generally looking bad; Luke on the other hand is first seen on a farm and getting beaten up by a Sandperson. Sure, he goes on to master the force, but Han keeps hold of both his own hands and gets the girl, who luckily isn’t his sister. Luke is a character who works great in the Star Wars films but when it comes to games I always like my heroes to be mad, bad and dangerous to know. So when the new Star Wars game hits the shelves I want to remember the spirit of ‘77 and play as Han Solo who is my first choice for the best character to be in a new game. Luke, you may have conquered the force and I still like you, but with your moral code and rigid outlook you are -I’m afraid – my first worst choice to be in the new Star Wars game.
For my second choice I’m going to look at sidekicks, something all good gaming heroes need and a new Star Wars game should be no exception to this rule. Sidekicks are invaluable in taking a blaster bolt for you or to pull the arms off Stormtroopers and beat them to death with the soggy end, which is why Chewbacca is an essential choice for any new Star Wars game. However, not all Wookiees are created equal you see. Chewbacca has a family and his son Lumpawaroo (I’m not making this up honest) is the polar opposite of his mighty father. Why is Lumpawaroo so bad? Well, it’s sad to relate that despite being a Wookiee and having Chewbacca as his father he is little more than a coward who never rose to the heights of greatness that Chewbacca occupied.
Now if Han Solo is in the new Star Wars game then players are going to settle for nothing less than co-op play with Chewie as his faithful sidekick, making him my number two choice for best character and the pitiful Lumpawaroo my second worst selection.
Onto my third choice now and time to take a look at who should fill the role of villain in a new Star Wars game. Here we don’t want anything done by halves so the game needs the Emperor Palpatine himself (what’s that you say, he’s dead?) Well, this is no handicap really as the dastardly Emperor made a truly villainous comeback in the Star Wars comic Dark Empire, so he could easily be in any game. What we don’t want in a game is any half-soaked scenery chewing villain who is all bluster and this is true of the Hutts as personified by that terrible tub of lard Jabba.
Hutts are giant fat slugs that would have trouble wiping their own bottoms let alone conquering the galaxy. If one tries to threaten you, taking a simple step back out of the reach of their puny arms is an easy defence. Jabba and his cronies are no fit villains for any new Star Wars game so are my third choice for worst character with the dreaded Palpatine an easy choice for third best.
My last selection now and time to look at which Star Wars character would make a fitting choice to fill the ranks of the Emperor’s army and here we have a problem.
You see the Emperor is going to have Stormtroopers who should make a great army for a Star Wars game player to come up against. Stormtroopers look mean, they pack firepower and their numbers seem to be legion so that an onscreen appearance could cause any player to break into a cold sweat, or could it?
You see Stormtroopers have a very basic problem in that with all the firepower they have they can’t seem to actually hit any targets. Just watch any Star Wars movie and you begin to wonder if Stormtrooper’s guns have sights or are they just the evilest-looking worst shots ever? So, the new Star Wars game needs Stormtroopers but please let them have had a least a little practice on the blaster firing range before they are let loose to terrorise the player. So, Stormtroopers who know how to shoot are my fourth best choice whereas those who skipped target practice are my fourth worse.
So there you are my four choices for best and worst Star Wars characters who might be in any upcoming Star Wars game. If you agree or disagree please leave a comment, until then may your blaster always be ready to shoot first.