The Captain was pleased he was allowed to bring his gimp to work!

the captain is thinking, wonder how many polygons it toke to make my moustache,  and not that i think of it what about this fake cigar, and my whole body for that matter.

The Captain stares at the horizon and the stormy sea wondering....

´´Did I leave the oven on?!``

"move it soldier! no laser traps in sight, so nothing to worry about"

"Oh crap, shouldn't have ate that spicy chili for dinner." Thinking of this while his guts are bubbling.

Why I am here smoking away like a true lit champion looking at this lovely weather who is flying the helicopter? Oh know I am the pilot, quick move it.

Captain --- "I wonder if this lady has any idea there's a helicopter circling her house while we watch her undress"

Other guy -- "Captain.....thats my mothers house"

Captain --- "bomb defused..............."

Harking back to his roots, the Captain recited the classic phrase ...

"It's a braw bricht lightning-lit nicht the nicht wee laddie."

Damn... my pubes itch.

Theres nothing like a PHAT DUBE before you kill someone...

(Speaks with real voice [high pitched!]) Captain: "So you think they'll make a movie version of CoD4? If they do, I hope Will Farrell plays me character."

@Funkyfresh

lol love it. nice one.

Captain puffed away as they hudled around their only source of warmth on a cold dark night

"The wetter the fuse, the bigger the cigar has to be"

God!!!!!  I hope they skip this map.

Why the gasmask? are you trying to tell me something.

SOAP- "God, why does he always look so angry?"

I wonder what the soldier next to me looks naked and if i can compare penis sizes oooooh i hope he didnt hear me because if people found out i was gay i would quit the force and join the league of extraordinary queres

damn im afraid of lighting, looks like we have to camp it out!

I wonder whats for dinner.....

"Hmm... I've always wondered how it is like to be Tarzan!"

Keep 'em coming guys! ;)

"My God!! This place is wetter than i was when i watched Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice"

The Captain was thinking why there was a guy beside him filming Killzone 2

Capitan Price is reflecting on his past glory and on how he looks exactly the same as in World War 2. Fancy that

Captin - "My mom always say's fighting in the war will bring me my death bed, but she is to old to know it's smoking this lovely luscious cigar, damn dying feels so good when you have the craving for it."

"Listen Man, how about you go first, and when I'm done my stoggie, I will be right there."

"Man i hope my cigar doesn't  get wet, cause i'll be pissed!!!"

Captain Price stared out at the cold sea and shuddered, this would be his most difficult mission. He may not be home for his GTA IV pre-order.

"I guess since it's raining, no one will notice if I piss myself..."

"Hand me a gas-mask soldier."

take that mask off noob, let this cigar smoke saturate your longs!!!

Soldier: Captain whats that look on your face?

Captain: Ahh. Just having a flashbacks of my childhood, ahh the good old times of WW2 when I was young, sniping nazis out with a slingshot. Good Old times.

Soldier: WW2 again? Give me a break we just got to enjoy the modern warfare.

Captain: I guess producer wants us to go back to WW2 age and theres nothing we can do!

Captain - You know I was thinkin we are alone in a heli and it raining... its kinda nice

Soldier - what sir

Captain - you think anyone could here us...

soldier - your scarying me sir

Captain - This just gives me time to think of you

Soldier - Sir im getting scared (jumps off)

Captain - Why do all the nice ones kill themselves

Hey Jones, look into my eyes. Doesn't the glow of my cigar and the flash of the lightning make you horney baby?

Spoiler Warning - Naked Snake to appear in CoD 5

"We cant stop here, this is bat country."

It's raining men...ha-le-lu-ja...

"THAT ROPE LOOKS LIKE MY WIFES BRAIDED ARM PIT HAIR HUNNY ARE YOU UP THERE ?  "

captian: ugh thats one ugly person....?

soilder: uh?.... thats you wife sir

captian: oh....SHES GOT A GUN FIRE AT WILL!!!

BOOM HEAD SHOT!

as the captin gazed out to sea, he wandered: " i wander if my wife is sleeping with the postman, the milkman or the nextdoor neighbour"

As the captain thinks about that breakfast burrito he had the soldier puts on his gas mask and prays for the smell to end.

Captain says:

You can now take the mask, boy. I just Light a cigarret, to stifle the smell. Damned Pilot.

I am a real man.  I light my cigar with lightning!!!  Are you a real man???

Unbeknownst to his colleagues, the Captain had always been afraid of lighting. Due to the quickness and proximity of the most recent strike, he had sufficiently soiled himself. Staring into the distance, unable to stop what had already started, the Captain lit a cigar in hopes of masking the smell, and reflected upon the future consequences of this action.

"Good thing I have this cigar, 'cause I'm lightin' up the night sky like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

captain (thinking)- hehehe damm this is one h£ll of a blunt!!! hehehe

Soap - "damm whats that smell, i know ive smelt that somewhere before...

Captain - "TIME TO GO LADS, FOLLOW ME" .....SPLOOSH.....

Soap - WTF,  he missed the boat....

I'll be damned if I'm going out in this $*%#...

Captain: "Private, stop being a baby...The fart wasn't THAT bad...Oh...God....Give me that gas mask"

Soldier - "Why is the PS3 version of CoD4 rendered in 640p?"
Captain- "If I knew the answer to that, I could probably answer why my finger isn't on the trigger in this screenshot."

 I hope the wife brought my kegs in from the washing line

milk was a bad choice...

Who's the guy in the picture?

I thought I saw a pussy cat... I did... I did see a pussy cat

HelI , It's about time... For Team Deathmach vs PSU

Captain: Damnit molly get the umbrella!

Soldier: Sir what is it ??

Captin: It's that Best Buy ..

Captin: Look at all our fans lining up for GTA4..

Soldier: Well sir ?!?

Captin: ENGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!

Something just doesnt feel right solder -   A night like this.... you just know someone's gonna get taken advantage of....  Soldier..?  Soldier??!

HEY WAKE UP IN THERE!!!   NO FALLING ASLEEP IN YOUR GEAR!!!!

Captain:  "Here are your orders....There ain't no thang like a g-strang on a chicken wang..Roger tango?!?!"

soldier in gas mask: GOD ! , the things we have to do today to block second hand smoke....

aptain: smoking's not that harmful soldier. never done me any harm. (cough.cough.. spit) no harm whatsoever. so take of that gas mask! thats an order. now then lets get that intel and get out in time for the premiere of "playboy's go commando" down the pub. now that will get my gun firing what about your leitenuent.

solder: sir im gay

captain: oh yer sorry about that.... put that gas mask back on then. cigars are for real men.

soldier: what?

captain: urghh just put the gas mask on im sure you want to get this over quickly as well to get back in those showers with the others

soldier: i beg your pardon. just because im gay doesnt mean i fancy all men. and sorry in advance if one of my bullets accidently catches you in the back of the leg. you might miss the playboy special what a shame that would be!!

I'm afraid we're going to have to circle around for the dropoff soldier. I can't finish this cigar with my mask down.

*thinking to himself* "keep up the hard look and they'll never suspect you've just soiled yourself"

captain "yosemite sam": i am going to make a hole in the but... of that fuc... rabbit!!!

soldier: Hmmm.......

The Captain goes ,"yeah well im just glad to be away from my wife...id say its way better to have bullets flying by your head  rather than having your wife nagging about how you dont put the toilet seat down every time."

"Hmmm.... Is that rain or is that Xbox 360 fanboys crying from above?"

"Captain you do realize that's gasoline pouring on us?"

He's thinking this: "Gotta look cool, gotta look tough... My team can't know I'm wearing little pink panties"

The guy with the helmet is thinking: "Look out, can't let the captain realize I'm in a bra"

"Soldiers, many of us may die, but we will recover the bukkit!"

"AHHH! YES! This rifle is as smooth as your butt"

"I damn this storm will ruin my hair-do"

Simon Says..... "freeze!!"

"Last one off has to clean the chopper"

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him smoking gives you cancer, he just has to make sure.

Captain Price:Hey you, why am I the only one without a gas mask?!

                          And whats that white fog coming through the door? It feels kinda nice.        * Slowly faints away and drops his cigarr, helicopter explodes*

I paid 60 bucks and this is what i get?! Damn short game.

"the captain"  'stache of the year' award winner from mustache aficionado magazine

Damn that lightning looks real... oh sh!t i just pissed myself... in HD!

God dam it i need s s**t

Captain: You see soap, there may be some maps you don't enjoy, but playing them all will be a fundamental experience for you and you should not be discouraged just because of the environment in which you battle is not to your liking.

The captain glances out the helicopter and a look of horror struck his face. He spat the cigar out his mouth, turned on his mic and shouted down the line:

" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SKIP THIS, I BEG OF YOU! "

The captain saw the dumbfounded expression on Soap's face and said:

"But of course.... Wet Work is the exception."

"Damn i just thought i could actually die, i need to get out of hear".

Captain: "So what kind of name is SOAP,you get that from a visit to prison?"(soldiers laughing)  SOAP: "HA HA,very funny sir!By the way sir,how's your wife and my kids doing?"   Captain: "pffft.I know you never had sex with my wife soldier.Your so gay I bet you can't wait to slide down this rope."

CAPTAIN - Soldier if this is the last day i have to live, i have to tell you something.

SOLDIER - Sir?

CAPTAIN - I molested myself last night... ... ... i said no! ...  but i knew i wanted it.

CAPTAIN - I'm just too damn sexy.

 "Damn, I don't know if i'll make it, but the good thing is that I just saved a bunch of money in my car insurance!" :)

This screenshot was taken moments before the Captains beloved moustache and beard went up in flames...  to his wifes delight.   :)

 Soap: These hemorrhoids are killing me. I mean my cheeks feels like a honey comb.

Soldier: Dude. I did not. Need. To know that.

sir....can we have the fuse now....

Captin:

Ooo i got a big one

wait for it....

wait for it....

(Thunder booms)

I'm not really smoking and im not holding my gun Mr. Jones in the mask. I'm just a fake. Wow! look at that lightning strike.

I'm not really smoking and im not holding my gun Mr. Jones in the mask. I'm just a fake. Wow! look at that lightning strike.

Hey you think I'll be on Call of duty 6

You wanna go for a dive?

You wanna go for a dive?

"Captain, we've reached Slant Six's studio.  Awaiting further instructions."

---

"Hold fire.  We still have a few more months before they release the SOCOM team."

---

(Just commenting.  I don't have CoD4 so don't pick me.)

Hey look daddy, there's lightning outside!

"I'm not goin out in that rain, my cigar will get wet!" Captain looks at the guy below, "Mind if I use your mask?"

I already have the map pack, so don't take this entry too seriously.

The Captain is thinking (is that the same rope i used on my wife last night)

Thanks anyway , GOD, I've got my stogie lit already!!

'' Just when i wanted a smoke.... this god dam rain ''

The captain points at some bushes:

"Don't worry soldier if you slip from the rope you will respawn down there"

cpt price looks like the cop in Village People, only less manly

Captain: Thanks for the cigar , I needed that.

Soldier: No problem cap'in.

Soldier (thinking): I'd rather have the snipers aiming at you than me...

"Why does this cigar smell like butt?"

"Listen soldier, eat the sodding rope or i'll empty a round in your kneecap"

"Man, I just got word that my pre-order of GTA IV is in the mail, and here I am, stuck in a chopper with a bunch smelly military dudes !! I should have called in sick this morning ..."

Squad, umbrellas up

Captain: "mmm...two girls one cup."

Soldier: "have you seen two girls one finger...dude classic."

Both: "HOOOAH!"

Captain : Me looking in a dirty way at this rope with me gun and this weedy smoke oh wait its a cigar never mind all the same :P but me feel dizzy and horny stripping and doing a lap dance on this rope while going down with me homo dude in this mask i hope they don't see me  green thong but gosh is this Spaz Gazzy a girl or a guy i feel ashamed oh god what will the fishiezzzzzzzzzz think about underneath this helicopter :P

Spaz gaz Mask : i hope the captain won't get his wee wee stroke by the lightning or its a fried sausage for the sharks thank god i got the gaz mask on me Phew Semen Fried Sauce wonder what the sharks would say

ohhhhh Snake where are you.........? I have a cigar waiting for you......

GOD DAM IT I WANT TO PLAY MGS4 !!!!!!

"This blunt is sooo good, nothing can stop me!!"

Captain: "Hey soldier"!

Soldier: "Yea Cap".

Captain: "Get close to the light.... I wanta touch it"

psn id: I95SOUTH<-- Follow the LEADER

Captain Price : For god sake, when Repundsel said she was gonna let down her hair, i didnt think it was gonna take a Helicopter and the Armed forces to rescue her.

Soldier: Life's a biatch aint it!!!

Damn this cigar is getting short, I hope I don't loose any more of my beard! That Gotee to months to grow!!!

----Death of a helmet------

Captain: Nice helmet.

Guy with weird helmet: Thank you i just washed it.

Captain: Do you know why we even need these?

Guy with weird helmet: Well ya, it keeps our faces dry

Captain: Are you sure its not there to hid your face?

Guy with weird helmet: That could be, but you have one aswell.

Captain: Well i dont look like an ant eater on steroids with this helmet on.

Guy with weird helmet: Ok ok dont be so mean about it?

Captain: I am your comanding officer, ill be as mean as i want! So you listen to me private helmet, this is no girl scout camp, this is war, so get your self together!

------3 min later--------

Private helmet: Im bored.

Captain: Good

Private helmet: Lets sing a song!

Captain: NO!

Private helmet: Please!

Captain: If you do i will throw you, and your helmet out this chopper!

Private helmet:

It's raining, it's pouring;

The lightning is roaring;

Shot his head;

Went and fled;

and couldent get up in the morning.

Captain: Why me.....

To be continued......

Captain thinks: "Daaammm....I forgot my bullets!!!"

the captain played mgs before his mission and was heavily influenced by snake and decided that there was a link between smoking a cigar and being cool, so he started act like snake.

Two minutes into mission the tried to perform CQC but was badly injured due to enemy fire.

Don't you think the glow from this blunt really enhances my sideburns?

Captain: Remember one thing soldier.

Soldier: What ?

Captain: If you raise your gun in the air you will look like my cigar.

man, i shoulda took a beno before i left, damn chinese food

Captain " Please tell me he is not lagging again! How many times do I have to tell him to stop downloading while playing" 

Ok so  i have my whip, mask,sexy solider outfit  and my lucky cigar if my wife still doesn't thing im not freaky enough..... then i give up.

Captain: Well, have ya seen Waldo yet?

Soldier: ..no, I haven.. There he iss!...no, just bigfoot.

Captain: (sigh) Keep lookin, soldier.

Captain:  "Let's get 'em boys!"

Same drill as always.  I'll sit here and enjoy my stogie.  After I'm done with it, I'll brush some of the ash on my face to look like I actually was in the battle.  Then I'll stroll up to the gang panting like I'm out of breath and give them a high five.  Nobody's any the wiser, Bob's your uncle, and I get another paycheck.  God I love this job.

God damn this is going to be hard to choose... Some of these are hilarious guys, keep it up.

Oh no boys...they got me Lucky Charms!......  =/

Soldire... Im sure glad you brought your gas mask becuase Mama's Chilly really hits me hard.

"DAMMMM!!!!! this doobie disguised as a cigar sure is good.... hee hee is that a boat down there i think i can make it without a chute"..... surprisingly he was killed by lightning as he held his gun over his head to protect him from the rain

There is only one thing on the captains mind before the greatest battle of modern history: "It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean"

Damn there goes my cigar!!

Soldier:  Sir, word on the  street is that's snakes cigar...

Captain: ...soldier....so what if it is!? its not like he needs it right now anyways! he still has a few months before he can even smoke it! besides, between me and you, im hoping they delay him a little longer, it tastes pretty damn good, want a hit?

just in it for fun, i already have the maps.

Looks like a storm is coming my dear, might have to play soldiers in the bedroom today.

What is with terrorists and bad weather?

"Recruit! You blasted maggot! I told you to take me to a smoking area not a blasted thunder storm."

CAPTAIN: " hmmm... do I want to magically increase how many times i can be shot or how much damage my bullets do..."

SOLDIER: " I dunno, Im pretty happy droppin grenades out of my a** when I die."

CAPTAIN: "  thats cuz ur gay Maurice."

SOLDIER(Maurice): " At least im not the last stand dumbass!  ' Oh im still alive, but I wanna shoot with my pistol not my primary weapon cuz im smart like that ' hah."

CAPTAIN: " you bi*ch."

Solider: "Sir, If we spend millions of dollars to make our helicopters invisible to radar and almost silent, dont you think you are ruining it with that cigar flame?"

Captain: "Solider, I have been around since WWII, don't you think I know what I'm doing? And even if something did come our way, we all have juggernaut perk on...right?"

Solider: ...."Uh...heh...no.... psssh let me guess you probably have a P90 too."

Captain: ....."Christ".....

Pilot: "INCOMING RPG!"

Solider: "F**K!"          *Runs and hits his xbox 360 off*  "Man that was close"....*RROD*...."Son of a"......

remember what happens in the helicopter stays in the helicopter

*Farting noise*

Gaz: ... Dear god!

Pvt. McTavish: I tould you to wear a gas mask, but NOOOO you had to have a smoke.

Captain: It's hopeless Lightning. If you strike us down, me and my cigar will become more powerful then you could ever imagine.

Cigar Smoking Veteran: [over chopper roar] Anyone who runs is V.C! Anyone who stands still is well-disciplined V.C!
Mask: How can you shoot women and children?
Cigar Smoking Veteran: Easy... you don't lead 'em so much. [laughs] Ain't war h3ll?!

Captain: "Soap are you thinking what i'm thinking?"
Soap: "I think so Captain....but if Jimmy cracks corn and no cares then why does he keep doing it?"

"i wish i could scratch my croch in public..........."

i like balls so that is why i should be in a porno, why am i fighting in a war?

"It's raining... ..."

Captian: "Aahhhh.. A cat falls into the ocean and the rooster laughs off the shore..."

Moral of his quote ( A wet pusay makes a coocky happy )

- Tony tha TIGGA ;-) peace

Soldier : Captain why am I jumping out again? I have a wife and kids.

Captain: Don't you remember you bought an xbox 360 and it got the RRoD. Oh yeah and i slept with your wife.

Soldier: What !?! I Bought my Xbox yesterday!?!?!? What are we waiting for? *jumps* Wait i still have my PS3............ damn it !

Captain : What were did he go? I didn't even finish telling him of how i "accidentaly" shot his son with a Barrett.

Price:  You scared soldier?

Soldier:  Yes sir.  Are you?

Price: Nope

Soldier: Why not?

Price:  Because I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO.

captain: rain.

captain: clouds.

captain: lightning.

captain: helgast?

Guy with mask: helgast?

captain: helgast?

..... . . .

captain: (helgast?.....)

..... . . . . . .

Guy with mask: helgast?

Guy with mask: (what is he smoking?)

Captain's Perks

• Perk One: Sight Seeing
• Perk Two: Bigger blunt improves authority
• Perk Three: Resistant to temptation

Captains perks...perkless. For everything else there's COD6.

Passenger1:GOD, not this again.

Passenger2: What?

Passenger1:Captain smokin another one of his Cuban cigars.

Passenger2:What's wrong with that?

Passenger1:Don't you remember last time when he f**king caught his d*mn moustache on fire and we had to land the chopper so he could put it out.

Passenger2; Jeez, and all because of that stupid PUBESTACHE! 

Price: Hey! Did one of you guys touch my butt?

Passenger1:No,no one touched your butt.

Passenger2:Captain I think you have something on your stache.

Price:Where?

Passenger2:Holy crap, I think it just moved!

Price:Fu**! Soap's mother must have given me crabs while I was giving her the El Capitan. I knew I was making a mistake when she told me how she liked the bristle. Boy, does that tick me off.

Passengers:rofl

Soap:What?

Price: Ohhh ummm.......DON'T speak unless spoken to Private!!! That'll be 20hours in the crapper for you.

Soap: .................................................................................................................B!TCH(female dog)

"This weather is absolutely NO good for my mustache curls!"

What was I thinking when I volunteered to be the helicopter support every time some bloke goes on a killing streak?

 Dammit if I shouldn't have TAKEN that G.I. Bill and gone to college instead!

Captian says. god damn soldier why are you wearing mask?

Soldier says.  Sir I just defending my face from lighting sir!

"If I get another boner after sliding down this rope the boys will never let me hear the end of it."

Captain : Oh my god PSU is giving free map pack from this picture god i wish i was at home so i can comment on my own figure and you would never guess whos behind that mask ITS MY WIFE I DRAGGED HER with me thats why i told her to put that mask she sure knows fresh air DAMN CIGARS !!!

MASK DUDE or DUDETTE : COUGH.... COUGH ....

"Come out from behind that grey speckled shower curtain with a whole in it Private Jones! That is extremely innapropriate right now. We have a battle to fight! This isn't the place for touching yourself to an ulimate exploding lightning like pressure!"

think about it.
thanks for the opportunity. Do more things like this!

Captain:  i hate cutscenes.........come on!!! lets start the action, its  freezing up here...........my mustage is getting froozen!!!!

 "O.K. Explain this to me again, what exactly did you mean back there when you said you just shart yourself?"

..."Thank you, the cigar does help cover up the smell."

WTF is going n here........ Where am I??????

 Why dont i have a GIMP mask like MASK DUDE or DUDETTE

damn.i can see the pub from here

"I can't believe we're going to take out Obama, Hillary will seriously do anything to get into office..."

S*it Iv got a Stiffy!!!!

The Captain puffed nervously on his cigar as he wondered how the little guy in the mask next to him would cope in battle.

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end... "

[Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore - Apocalypse Now]

Strike a pose, light a cigar,look cool...QUICK TAKE A PICTURE WHILE THE LIGHTNING IS STILL STRIKING!!

Why war took so many brave men but left my wife behind!!!

Captain- "Lock and load boys, Nicko is armed and dangerous"

"Aggh... I should put out this cuban... Aggh... You got the right idea- best keep the gasmask on, I'm about to lay one OUT!... Shouldn't ate that CHILLI."
Yes sir, I'll keep the door open.