PlayStation's Top 10 Role Models

  • Posted October 7th, 2008 at 16:38 EDT by Dave Wales
  • 6,145 views
  • 66 Comments

(Editor's Note: This entire article is intended as a joke. Don't take it seriously in any way, shape, or form. To do so could cause irreversible trauma. In conclusion, lighten up and have a laugh.)

Role Model (noun) - A person who serves as a model in a particular behavioral or social role for another person to emulate.

Every single day, we see celebrities being thrown in jail for ridiculous crimes deemed below their pay grade. Thousands of budding adolescents turn around and idolize these individuals as role models and strive to achieve their success. While that’s all fun and games, we’d like to know why nobody is idolizing the real role models in life. C’mon, you guys know who I’m talking about; if you don’t, you’re about to be introduced to my top 10 greatest PlayStation Role Models.

10. Crash Bandicoot

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The Tasmanian Devil has nothing on this Bandicoot. If you’re a messy gamer and your laptop or computer desk is full of garbage, then this is probably somebody you look up to. It doesn’t matter where Crash goes, he’s going to wreak havoc and create a mess in the process. I’m sure there are many of you reading this just nodding your heads knowing your mothers just finished cleaning up your rooms.

9. Needles Kane (Sweet Tooth)

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How many times have you heard your mom say something like: “If you don’t go to school, you’ll end up being a janitor or a failure like your cousin.” Everyone should be raising their hands (except for those with cousins on Wall Street -- oh wait, just kidding, you too). Anyway, Needles Kane gives you the freedom to look at your mom like she’s crazy, because this guy has made it cool to have a crappy job like driving an Ice Cream truck. If that’s not something you can respect, I don’t know what is.

8. Claude Speed

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So you’re the strong, quiet type, right? Do I have the guy for you! Claude Speed is as quiet as they get, yet epitomizes the slogan, “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.” Claude started waging war in Grand Theft Auto II and never looked back. From blowing up cars to running over pedestrians, not even Helen Keller could make being mute this cool (sorry).

7. Fat Princess

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Are you tired of all of those magazines making you feel insecure and out of shape? Don’t sweat it, it’s finally cool to be fat again! Gamers can finally be able to look up to and idolize this obese opposite of Marie Antoinette -- she already ate most of the cake. Grab your forks now, though, because it’ll all be gone if you leave her in a room alone with it for much longer.

6. Zack Fair

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We all have had those overachieving kids in our school that wanted to graduate by their sophomore year or wanted to get their degree by the time they were 17, right? Don’t worry, PSU Editor Eric Blattberg is that exact kid, so we all know at least one. Anyway, this is the type of guy those kids look up to -- a young, fit, overachiever who can hold his own in a fight and train deadly SOLDIERS himself. Just look at Cloud Strife, would he be nearly as badass without this guy? I think not. I’m Cloud Strife to Eric’s Zack Fair, so I approve of this role model.

(Editor's Note: I love you too, Dave)

5. Nathan Drake

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Boyishly good looks, natural charm, witty rhetoric and a big shotgun make Nathan Drake a premium role model for your A-typical male. There is no doubt in my mind that Nathan was the AC Slater of his High School. While his motives are riches and his methods deadly, there is no denying that Drake loves the ladies. Still, while all of the girls would die to be the pins holding up this poster, any true blue-collared guy would give it all to live the lifestyle ... (continued on next page)

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What are your thoughts?

  1. Ocelot1987 | METSTM

    • 4:41pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 1

    Wow Lara Craft number 1? Thats a joke and so is fat princess being on the list! xD Do you find getting fat something to look up to? haha

  2. Eric2929 | Eric2929

    • 4:44pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 2

    You can't have read the article in three minutes. Read it before you jump to conclusions. It's "Role Models" and not "Most Recognizable Characters" for a reason.

  3. T-Dogg400 | T-Dogg400

    • 4:44pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 3

    Was hoping that Sackboy could have been on that list, good to see Kratos and Old Snake on the top ten.

  4. bluemonkeypet | sponge-man

    • 4:45pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 4

    Hmm bit random tht list not very good lol, crash deff should be nearly first :P
    And snake 1st for deff

  5. Jetblack | Jetblack423

    • 4:45pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 5

    I agree Lara Croft not 1. Kratos, every single Snake, and come on SACKBOY!!!!!!!

  6. edward_moffet | edd

    • 4:49pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 6

    this list sucked hardcore

  7. cOwpander | Sobe_Elixir

    • 4:52pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 7

    fail!!!

  8. terminator12259 | tacitassassin25

    • 4:56pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 8

    this list isnt very good, lara croft is not number one. spyro, crash, snake, kratos, sweet tooth should be one the top, i dont even know why fat princess is on the list

  9. Girugamesh | Shidousha

    • 4:56pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 9

    LOL PSU is going to get a lot of flack for this one, including from me.

     

    Lara Croft sure as heII isn't number one, and yes, I read the article. I understand Sackboy not being on there, as it's kind of impossible for there to be a role model thing there, but again, Fat Princess, seriously?

    Anyways, Snake would be my number one, the personality given to him by Kojima has actually had an effect on the way I live, for example, smoking.

  10. Eric2929 | Eric2929

    • 5:00pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 10

    Girugamesh, you do realize that the inclusion of Fat Princess is (at least an attempt at) a joke, right? In fact, the entire article is essentially a joke. We're talking about idolizing videogame characters. Lighten up, people.

  11. Kajii

    • 5:05pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 11

    FAIL FAIL FAIL Lara Croft?! Wtf?!

  12. Ghostm

    • 5:07pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 12

    Lara Croft #1. Lame!

  13. Eric2929 | Eric2929

    • 5:07pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 13

    Added an editor's note at the top. The whole article is supposed to be fun, the complete opposite of a definitive list of the "Best PlayStation Characters of All Time," which is what most people seem to be taking it as.

  14. LegendaryAim | LegendaryAim

    • 5:10pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 14

    Dont worry Eric i got a good read from this and i chuckled:p 

  15. gingo | gingo

    • 5:17pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 15

    psn id: gingo.... i think crash bandicoot should be in the top 5, he is the pinnacle of role modelness (:P) who doesn't look up to a screw up of a science experiment who defeats the evil scientist who made him

  16. Hellblazer | Eonun

    • 5:20pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 16

    haha nice article eric

  17. Eric2929 | Eric2929

    • 5:22pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 17

    Well it was Dave's article, I just edited it (and informed you all of the deelio with some added notes), so 90% of the credit goes to him.

  18. Tseng VII | TsengVII

    • 5:25pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 18

    lol

    It made me laugh ;) take it easy peeps its just for fun

  19. IndianaJones1936 | IndianaJones1936

    • 5:33pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 19

    Nate Drake is should be number 1

  20. Denali2 | NEJI64

    • 5:34pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 20

    this list is fair it don't really matter wat order there in so yall need to be easy its no sirius. in some ways what Dave said about fat princess is kinda true gurls these days are insecure about there weight and looks because of Hollywood and todays society. 

  21. nastanley

    • 5:55pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 21

    KRATOS forever!!!!!!!

  22. Excesse | Excesse

    • 6:10pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 22

    nathan hale??? he's a real example of a macho dude

  23. Staude | Staude

    • 6:17pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 23

    I can't believe you guys got so much flak for this article.

     

    I found it pretty nice and well written. I might have done a few things differently, but i found it pretty neat overall :P

  24. Billy_Bob_Joe | Nicker600

    • 6:26pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 24

    its a joke guys!

    and lol xD

  25. lordAlucard | sympozium_666

    • 6:33pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 25

    Why not Jak & Daxter?

  26. ephracis | ephracis

    • 6:34pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 26

    I loved the article. It was fun and gave me a good laugh. I have a top 3 list for people that didn't make it to the article:

    #3: Sack Boy from LittleBigPlanet
    For showing us that you don't need to know the inside of someone to love them. We know he's a sack, but a sack of what?

    #2: Chimera Hybrids from Resistance: Fall of Man
    They give us a whole new meaning to "four-eyes"

    #1: Kent Paul from GTA: Vice City and GTA: San Andreas
    Being the worst lawyer ever, he shows you that it doesn't count if your successful in life, as long as you tried your best.

     

    Lastly I would just like to say that I love the fact that Lara Croft beat Fat Princess to it. It's not important to be thin, but it sure is hot. ;)

  27. Hyourinmaru | DAT1AZNPAN

    • 6:37pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 27

    kratos shoulda been #1 no offense lara craft is like multiplatform >.>

  28. acidhead89

    • 6:57pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 28

     lol this was a good list, i can actually see myself as one of those characters. im deff a Crash Bandicoot who thinks hes as cool as Zack or Cloud, wishis he was as tough as Kratos and would want to do adventurous stuff like Nathan Drake.

    good list.

    BTW. a lot of people here seem to lack some sense of humor

     

     

     

  29. 1solidsnake | solid1snake67

    • 7:04pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 29

    old snake aka solid snake number 3?? i thought for sure he would be #1 or atleast 2,   doesn't make sense to have Kratos as #2     everytime  i think of playstation, i think of metal gear solid!!! but, lara croft is the hottest of the rolemodels lmfao.

  30. rahstar2003 | explosive78

    • 7:28pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 30

    unbelievable, you mean to tell me that we have this many up tight people in the playstation community.  Wow people you could tell it was a joke before he put the disclaimer up top.  Good list guys.

  31. ephracis | ephracis

    • 7:32pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 31

    Agreed. Some people don't seem to get the joke. Or they think that it is a list of the most popular characters. Eric put it very well:

    It's "Role Models" and not "Most Recognizable Characters" for a reason

  32. Erik0547 | Dumpweeed

    • 7:48pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 32

    This article is about the writers choice. Don't hate it. make your own list.

  33. niz32iqbal

    • 7:50pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 33

    who made this bull list... ppl like jin from tekken are playstation role model exclusives... numbers 9,8,7,6 are non worthy.. nor are the highly recognised... snake or kratos to be 1 and 2, lara, clown from pandemonium, jak and daxtar, they should have been included. sackboy should indeed be up there too.

  34. ferret66

    • 7:56pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 34

    Spyro and Cloud are the coolest characters ever!

  35. xXDannyBoyXx | xLAPIERREx

    • 8:36pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 35

    didnt mention Ratchet and clank, Nathan Hale, Jak and Daxter, Spyro. These characters have been around for a while

  36. Dan_Lero | Dan_Lero

    • 8:49pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 36

    no sackboy? Lara? wtf!

  37. Gilems | cowsaresacred

    • 8:55pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 37

    it's a joke can't you read?

  38. AWAKE

    • 9:21pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 38

     hey dave or eric ,WHY DIDN'T U INCLUDE THE MENTAL CHICK FROM HEAVENLY SWORD,cause that girl showed being mental is fun and cool ,i wanna play.

    and @ 26 sackboy from lbp??? really!!!!! where can u find another game with sacks as the main character .lol

  39. Kulpa | Kulpa

    • 9:37pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 39

    @27 Lara croft was first release on ps1 back in the days so yeah she deserve to be #1

  40. SpikeDX

    • 11:05pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 40

    i do not see lara craft as a role model, i see her as a reason to jack off while playing a video game.

  41. WonsAuto | WonsAuto

    • 11:19pm BST - October 7th, 2008
    • 41

    LOL @ the Helen Keller joke.

  42. PS3!!!!! | FOXY007

    • 12:03am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 42

     wow this list is sooooo wacked

  43. hvnlyswrd08

    • 12:12am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 43

    TO ALL THE ONES COMPLAINING AND WHINING: get a grip its a joke (including the obese princess) and i think lara croft is good azz rolemodel...who woudnt look up to somebody who has guns and knows how to use them...and in her spare time, fights mythical creatures and raids dangerous tombs

  44. Yuk-Yuk | Yuk-Yuk

    • 12:49am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 44

    I like Kratos more than Lara Croft. Nothing like some good old revenge.

  45. TaMszz | TaMss

    • 1:21am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 45

    semi good list. 

  46. ryanmormon

    • 1:37am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 46

    sackman shoulda been number one, role model for the concept of, living life freely! and building levels along the way. : )

  47. IONIXX | IONIXX

    • 1:53am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 47

    WOOO go lara! kratos is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIING women are so much more intersing than men in videogames

  48. ephracis | ephracis

    • 3:15am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 48

    @AWAKE

    I think you misunderstood me. That list was the characters that I would like to see as the best role-models from the Playstation world. :) So yes! I adore Sack Boy. He's on MY list. ;)

  49. clemx2 | nuffin_long

    • 4:35am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 49

    this list is bull$hit where is james earl cash?? who better to look up to than a serial killer. manhunt rules!!

  50. spawn of stumpy | spawn_of_stumpy

    • 5:07am BST - October 8th, 2008
    • 50

    i reckon Albert Wesker from Resident Evil 1 should be No.1 !!!!

    Big Burly & Hairy... just what every growing lady needs...  Just check out his chin profile.. says it all...

    (runs off to toilets to throw up :-8 )

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