Breaking – Hideo Kojima signs multi-game deal with Apple

Hideo Kojima’s future at Konami seems certain to be over as he and his Kojima Productions team have partnered with expensive disposable device manufacturer Apple to create a series of games for the iPhone and iPad.

A source close to Kojima – thought to be Kevin Tawkchite from a Nando’s in Hull – revealed how frustrated Koj had become with life at Konami. When they wouldn’t give him the permission to remake Track N’ Field as an emotionally impactful study on the human condition, with lots of bodily-function jokes and a focus on buttocks encased in spandex blended in, it was the final straw.

Kojima Apple

Kojima looking chuffed that he’ll never have to pay for an iPhone again

Having learned of this inspired vision, Apple reached out to the iconic developer (who consists of 70% movies) and brokered a multi-game deal with him reported to be worth over $1 billion, plus free iPhones for life.

It is expected that both parties will announce their first collaboration in the coming weeks. Rumors suggest that it will be a spiritual sequel to Boktai, where you must sustain your vampire overlord’s thirst for social media by getting retweets and favorites from Twitter. 

We have attempted to contact Kojima, Apple and Konami for comment, but so far we only received a picture of Mr. Kojima’s lunch. It was a Bento box designed to look like an iPod, so we are confident that this story holds some weight.

Source: Kevin from Hull